


Come On, Set the Tone

by boxesofflowers, Eeyoreneedsahug



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bands, Alternate Universe - Music, Angst, Anxiety, Cats, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Eskild is the Mom Friend, F/F, Fame, Fluff, Hate to Love, IT IS NOT GRAPHIC, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mental Illness, Multimedia, Music, Once again the sexual assault is implied and referenced, Past Child Abuse, Sexual Harassment, Social Media, Stardom, Twitter Battles, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, famous even, famous isak, make thea canon, mikael is a sunflower child, music industry, not graphic, world building
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-10-28 21:29:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 57,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10839819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boxesofflowers/pseuds/boxesofflowers, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eeyoreneedsahug/pseuds/Eeyoreneedsahug
Summary: Isak is a recently out popstar who wants to prove that he is not just another pretty face in pop music and has the skills to make his own way in the musical world (just like his newly found idol, Even Bech Naesheim).Even is a self contained, indie singer songwriter who takes shit from nobody - anyone in his cult following will tell you (including a certain popstar).Shortly after a public feud between the two begins, they’re forced together for a nationwide tour. 9 weeks, 50 shows, and countless hours (together) on the tour bus leave Even writing cryptic love songs and Isak wondering if he should leave everything he knows behind.Ft. BL!SS, Balloon Squad, Wireless Problems, Jonas, and the Wobbles





	1. ISAK

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Everyone! We’re super excited to share our newest AU with you all. Just a note: Mikael is an adorable sunflower child in this fic, ok (*closes eyes* la la la). Please give us feedback! We love hearing from everyone!
> 
> Title from Sing by Ed Sheeran.

Isak hates his job. Well, that’s a lie. He doesn’t hate it. He has a love-hate relationship. Maybe recently it’s been more hate than love but surely he can recall a time where he actually loved it? Recently, even. He really has no room to complain. He’s living the dream. He gets to travel. He gets to meet amazing people. He has influence. People look up to him. But right now, he hates his job. 

He sticks his earbuds in, taking one last deep breath before walking into the nearly 70 story building. The sound of a guitar and soft strumming absorbs all of his attention, almost like a soundtrack to his shitty morning. It’s Even Bech Næsheim’s cover of That’s How Strong My Love Is - Isak’s been listening to the indie artist’s music all weekend (more like year, if he’s honest). He’s a gifted songwriter, but Isak particularly likes this cover. The original is brassy and loud and outspoken, but Even’s is...quiet. Heartfelt. Isak can almost hear the emotion dripping from his voice.

He swipes his id card through the turnstiles that will let him into the lobby of the building. He walks through the large open space - pushes the button to call the elevator. 

_If I was the sun, way up there, I’d go with love most anywhere._

The doors slide open, and he’s relieved to see no one’s inside. He steps in, pressing the button for the 63rd floor. He has a meeting with a few producers and writers to talk about the new album, but first, he’ll stop at the little coffee maker and fill up his thermos for the morning.

His stomach sinks as the elevator starts to rise.

_I’ll be the rainbow after the tears are gone. Wrap you in my colors. Keep you warm._

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, the doors slide open, and he makes his way to the tiny kitchen off the hallway. The fridge usually has bottles of water, which Isak has to admit are the only fluids he gets on a daily basis (probably not enough, especially considering he’s a singer). It’s one of the best parts of his job or at least one of the most consistent parts. Free water.

“Morning superstar!” Linn says with a sarcastic enthusiasm. She’s sitting in one of the modern, uncomfortable white plastic chairs that surround the tiny table in ‘kitchen 3’.

He opens the fridge. It’s empty. What the fuck? He’s worked here for three years - since he was 14 - and not once has the fridge been empty. 

“What the fuck?” He repeats aloud.

“Yeah, Jonathan wants you in the conference room. He told me to tell you he’s got your ‘fucking Figi water’ in there. His words. Not mine,” Linn says, taking a bite of her muffin.

“Why?” He shifts uneasily. It’s like getting called into the principal's office. Jonathan McCray is the Executive Vice President of Talent Management, and any interaction with him usually wasn’t great. 

“Fuck if I know. I’ll see you later. If you survive.”

“Thanks, Linn,” he says, sighing before leaving. He’d kind of hoped to just hang out today after his meeting with Eskild. He hasn’t had a true day off for at least 3 months. He’d been planning on lazing around in the studio with Noora and Jonas but now those plans wouldn’t really be feasible. He trudges through the halls of the place he had once dreamed of working. With every week they seem more claustrophobic. 

He had always dreamed of making music. When he was little he was always performing. He was a musical kid, and as much of a cliche as it might be, he delighted in performing concerts for his family and friends. All of his time outside of schoolwork was spent on music, and at age 14 his work had finally paid off. After grueling weeks of competition, he had won a spot recording with StarMark. Isak had immediately dove into recording and creating. Now, it wasn’t the same as it had once been. He’d been so naive. 

“Isak! Hi. I take it Linn told you I wanted to see you?” Jonathan says from his seat at the head of the long glass table, a tray of bottled water in the center. There’s an array of middle-aged executives staring at him, all seated around the table, each with their own little clipboard and Figi water.

“You took my water,” is all he says, frowning. 

“Your water? The water isn’t exactly your prerogative, but we can discuss that later. We’re here to discuss the new album.”

“My album,” he repeats lamely.

“Yes. Frankly, we don’t know how well it’s going to do. To be fair, it’s quite good, but you’re no longer the child prodigy you once were. You’re getting old and a lot of you appeal rested on the fact that you were _too_ young. Now you’re another teenager who sings.”

“What are you saying?”

“We’re saying the concept is flawed. It’s risky. This is your third album. You’re not what we call a risk, Isak. You’re our ace in the hole. We can’t be dicking around with this. Think simple. Safe.” 

“My music is solid and I have a fan base. This album is more true to me than any of the past ones,” Isak argues.

“Your gimmick for this new album? That you’re gay? That would have been interesting five years ago but times are changing.” 

“It’s not a gimmick,” he says flatly, his expression going, if possible, colder. 

“You are not the newcomer anymore. People don’t want what you trying to sell with this record. It would have been a lot simpler if you had followed our advice and stayed in the closet.” Isak knows what they mean by advice. Their rules.

“That was never an option.”

“Just be glad that people reacted positively and everything didn’t fall through.” 

“Just tell me what you want,” he says, trying his best to stare Jonathan down. 

“Three more albums. And a rewrite of the current record.”

“A rewrite?! Are you joking?” He can’t hold back his exasperation.

“We were ready for you to take more artistic control and it seems that you weren’t able to rise to the occasion. Some of your songs would work great as part of Jonas’s album if you want to discuss that at a future point.”

“Jonas isn’t taking my fucking songs, I wrote those songs, they’re mine.”

“There’s no need to get heated.”

“But they’re mine. They’re my experiences. My life.” 

“You’ll retain writing credit. But they aren’t yours. They’re company property. Just like all other work you do. We need rewrites done as soon as possible. Noora has volunteered to help, she’s a proven hit maker. We’ll call in others as needed.” When Jonathan finishes talking it’s clear that no amount of arguing will change his mind.

Without another word, Isak leaves, putting his headphones back in, blocking out anything and everything.

_Anything the sun can do, I’ll do it for you. Any kind of love you want, I’ll be with you._

\---

Isak heads to one of the studios - his studio, technically - on the 50th floor. All his guitars are there, except for Lea, the one at his apartment. Maybe it’s stupid, but he names all his guitars. It makes them feel like family. He doesn’t have much other than them in terms of family anyway. 

Now, he’s spending the rest of the day mourning the loss of all of his work and everything he’d poured into making this album. Maybe surrounding himself with the scenes and material he used to write it will make the stabbing feeling go away. 

He sets a reminder on his phone. **call mamma**

He sighs. One of his goals (before he turns 18, at least) is to actually call his mother once a week. He’s still working on any contact with his father but every time he tries, he backs out last second. 

A few years ago, his mom had gone through a rough patch with her mental illness - she’s paranoid schizophrenic, and though her medication usually handled everything pretty well, she had a major breakdown. Shortly after she was hospitalized, his father left and didn’t come back for almost two years.

Isak is close with his mother now. She’d been there for him when he came out, at all the awards red carpets and interviews. He doesn’t speak with his dad anymore.

He sits down on the soft, slightly torn, yellow couch in the corner of the room, and grabs Rey, the guitar closest to him. He picks out a melody, but he doesn’t feel incredibly enthusiastic. How can he when all of his ideas and work had been invalidated by those he was supposed to be able to trust to support him? He was so close to being able to prove himself. He’d been so close to being able to prove his legitimacy as a musician and finally show the outside world a bit of his own. Now? Just another talentless teen. Well, not talentless, but not nearly as involved as he would want to be. 

His stomach drops again. They were already disapproving to downright hostile about his coming out. Not having control over his music almost feels like being closeted again. It wouldn’t be entirely possible due to his level of notoriety, but still. It’s painful.

He pulls his laptop out of his bag, deciding he’s better off fucking around online than thinking about all this. There are a lot of tweets about Osci Fest going on out in California - he’d been asked to perform a few months back but he knew he’d be busy working on the new album. Well, he’d wanted to, but Jonathan had said no.

It looks like Eva, Sana, Vilde, Noora, and Chris are there, judging by the photos Eva’s been [posting on Instagram](https://comeonsetthetone-au.tumblr.com/post/160383937507/music-industry-au). 

He texts Noora. 

_How is it??_

_Hello Isak. It’s Sana. Noora has lost her phone privileges temporarily because she was taking too many selfies._

_Oh hey :)_

_Do you need something?_

_I was just wondering if you guys have room for another at Osci?_

_When will you be here?_

_How long is the flight from NY?_

_See you soon._

\---

For the first time since meeting with the executives, Isak feels like he can breathe. He can go and hang out with his friends, relax, listen to music, and leave the problem solving for when he’s less freaked out. He has to keep his head on his shoulders. He’s been in worse situations. He’s had his dreams crushed before. He wouldn’t be successful without the ability to think rationally. 

At the airport, he’s swarmed by paparazzi and fans, and though it always makes him feel guilty, he acts like they’re not there at all. He’ll stop and talk to people if they say hello while he’s waiting in a line or sitting in a lounge but that rarely happens - he tries to spend the least amount of time as possible in the airport. 

It isn’t until he’s on the plane that he realizes that he has no clue who is actually performing. Well, all but one act. Even Bech Næsheim. He pulls up the list. 

He’s not sure if BL!SS (the girl’s group) is performing or if they’re just hanging out - he probably should’ve asked Sana, now that he’s thinking about it. He knows Jonas has a spot, not on the mainstage but still. Sometimes he envies Jonas and his label-sanctioned hipster bullshit. Well, it’s not bullshit, it’s Jonas’s actually personality, which just happens to coincide with the label’s vision of what a hipster should be.

There’s a band called Balloon Squad going on right after Jonas, so Isak thinks he might as well hang out and catch them. The rumor is they might be signing to StarMark, so he’s...done a little research (watched every youtube video they’ve ever appeared it and considered abusing his...fame...to meet them). 

And...Even Bech Næshiem is on the mainstage. Tonight. He’s really enjoyed (fucking obsessed over) Even’s music recently (forever. Before he ever blew up) and it just seems like a pleasant (fucking perfect) thing to do.

Maybe part of it has to do with the fact Even doesn’t have a label. Has actually refused contracts in favor of being this independent, streaming artist with no restrictions. It seems so principled and impressive, he almost wishes that were him. Of course, he’s grateful for the security of a label, the consistent paychecks, reliable space to record - he wouldn’t give it up, but sometimes he wishes he could.

He always feels like a douche when he rides first class, but he’d rather have a seat to himself in all honesty. He hates small talk and gets...itchy sitting in the middle seat between sweaty travelers or small sticky children. 

When they finally land, he’s sort of exhausted, but there is no way in hell he’s missing the shows tonight. Jonas is the closest thing he has to a brother, and they wrote about half of his music as a duo. Also, Jonas will definitely have weed. Also, there is no way he’s missing Even. No way.

Isak’s phone reconnects and he immediately wishes it hadn’t. 

_Voicemail (37)_

_Texts (639)_

Most of them are from Jonathan. A few are from other friends and acquaintances. There’s one particularly nasty selfie from Magnus and Mahdi (known to their fans as Wireless Problems) who are clearly also at Osci. Isak forgot that they’d performed already. 

He opens the messages from Jonathan.

_Who told you that you could leave?_  
_You lost that privilege with your failure of an album._

Jonathan is a lot less concerned with appearances and niceties when it’s just between the two of them.

_You should be working to make up for being useless, doll._  
_I’m sure your tight ass will have a good time in Cali though. Just make sure you remember who you belong to._

Isak shudders and shuts off his phone. Taking a short vacation might be a good thing. 

\---

“Look who decided to show the fuck up!” Eva shouts from across the terminal, and Isak rolls his eyes. 

“Hey,” he says when they get closer, and she claps him on the shoulder. “Thanks for picking me up.” 

“I couldn’t let my little brother hitchhike to Osci, could I?” She drapes an arm around his shoulders.

“I guess not.”

“I have an uber. That’s ok, yeah?” Eva asks and Isak scoffs.

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“You’re pretty picky. You won’t even eat mayo,” Eva teases.

“Because mayo is disgusting,” Isak states. 

“Your opinion,” Eva argues. 

“Is valid. It has a weird texture.”

“But according to you so do the people on the plane, the floors in the Chipotle bathroom, the J train. The list is long, Isak,” Eva says and Isak realizes that she may be right. 

They climb into the car, and the driver does a double take. Before he can speak, Eva nods.

“Yeah. We can take a pic when we get there,” she says and the driver looks surprised but doesn’t reply. They start to move away from the curb.

“Can we talk?” Isak asks Eva quietly. Eva looks over, surprised. She nods but looks puzzled. “Ok, so,” he lets out a deep breath. “You know the project?” He asks.

“Yeah. Of course.”

“That person. It’s no longer happening. It was done and they’re taking it.”

“Fuck!” Eva exclaims too loudly. The driver looks back, slightly alarmed. “Well, we’re seeing Jonas tonight, so at least you’ll see some of your shit performed correctly. Does he know you’re here? He’d probably call you up to do a duet.”

“Oh...ummm...I was thinking low profile, but that sounds fun. I mean...it’s not like I’ll get another chance to do anything right?”

“You’re still a young bean. You have time,” Eva says patting his shoulder. Isak rolls his eyes. They’ve been working in the music industry for just about the same amount of time, but because she’s older, Eva feels like she can give him sage life advice. 

“I’ll do it if he asks,” Isak decides resolutely. He might as well. The news will spread soon enough that he’s at Osci so he might as well have some fun with it if it comes up. “I’ll text him to give a heads up.” Eva smiles. Isak realizes then that this might have been what she wanted all along. She’s always telling him that he needs to stay in touch better (she’s right. He should set reminders for his friends like he does with his family). 

Jonas replies almost instantly. 

_fuc ya bro it lit we gonna duet_

A second passes before another text from him comes through.

_????????????????? :) ????_

Isak smiles. Jonas loves every part of his job. He writes constantly. He performs as much as he is able. His enthusiasm is infectious. Now Isak is actually excited by the prospect of singing one of the songs he co-wrote with Jonas. Jonas rarely performs it because even though it was released as a solo song, it really doesn’t sound quite right until two people sing it together. 

\---

Isak runs off stage, sweaty but feeling more alive than he has in a while. Jonas is still on completing his set, so he stops to breathe. He turns when he hears footsteps. A guy his age with floppy hair and an infectious smile is walking over to him. 

“Hey man, that was epic,” the guy says. He looks familiar and Isak places him as one of the guys in Balloon Squad. Which one though? He sticks out his hand. 

“Hey, thanks. Isak,” he introduces himself quickly. 

“Mikael,” the other boy replies. “That was pretty awesome. Do you write a lot of stuff?” Isak nods. 

“Yeah. I guess. I heard that you guys were thinking about signing with StarMark?” Isak half asks and Mikael nods. 

“Yeah. It’s time. We’ve tried to do what Ev is doing and strike out on our own, but with a boyband? Nah,” Mikael says. Ev? Like Even? 

“Even Bech Næsheim?” He asks and Mikael nods. 

“Yeah, he’s one of our close friends. The band’s, I mean. He’s over at main stage in a bit.” 

“Yeah, I know. He’s the only reason I’m out here. Besides Jonas and the girls,” he clarifies after a second. Mikael laughs. 

“Cute. Well...I have to get back. We go on in a few minutes.”

“It was great talking to you,” Isak says and Mikael nods and almost skips away. Isak shakes his head. In a couple of months, his soul will be crushed like everyone else who works at StarMark. 

Someone collides with him. 

“Heeeeeyy!” Jonas yells, clinging onto Isak’s back. Almost everyone who works at StarMark Isak amends in his head. 

\---

Later that night, they’re in the crowd in front of the main stage, waiting for Even.

“Hello, Osci!” A voice says, and the sea of people starts to cheer. The lights come up and Even is center stage, a guitar in his hands. He strums a chord and the crowd cheers. “You guys like that?” The cheering gets louder. Isak is screaming his heart out. This is the freest he’s felt in months. “I heard once if you strum an E in front of a crowd you’ll always get applause and it’s good to know that shit still works.”

Even reaches up and runs a hand through his hair. It’s tied back with the most pretentious bandana Isak has ever seen and he hates it (he loves it. On anyone else it would look like shit and he would make fun of them.).

“You all ready?” he asks, and the crowd roars. Without another word, he starts to play, and after a few beats leans into the mic. “At rehearsal, they told me not to talk so much. What do you guys think about that?” He asks and smiles when he hears the chorus of boos. “Yeah. I know. So I say, fuck ‘em.” Isak knows he’s gripping Jonas’ hand harder than he should. He doesn’t care. The person on stage (his musical idol!) is saying what he wishes he could say. Even is the embodiment of what Isak aspires to be. He just wants to know him. They could be friends (sad, but self-friendzoning is probably the way to go, considering how they don’t know each other and Isak isn’t entirely sure he’s Even’s type). 

Finally, he starts to sing. It’s no doubt his most profane song, which Isak is guessing isn’t a coincidence. 

“Poetry is no place for a heart that’s a whore. I’m young and I’m strong but I feel old and tired.” When people start to realize what song it is, the cheering gets louder. He keeps playing, and crowd sings along. Isak lets it wash over him, closing his eyes.

Finally Even gets to the chorus, “I will not pretend, I will not put on a smile, I will not say I’m alright for you.”

Jonas turns to look at Isak who’s trying hard to not jump around too much.

“Sort of aggressive, no?” he asks, and Isak smirks. 

“Just listen.” 

“You bloody motherfucking asshole, oh you bloody motherfucking asshole,” Even sings along with the crowd. Jonas gives a half laugh.

“Wow,” he says shaking his head. 

“You don’t like it?” Isak asks, and Jonas shrugs.

“It’s fine, just...a lot.”

“Look, he’s gonna do a slow one and then you’ll see what I’m talking about.”

The song ends with a loud chord and Even leans into the mic again, smiling. Isak feels his heart clench.

“Thanks.”

\---

After the set, Isak is waiting backstage. Jonas had run off with only a “fucking shit I’m late,” so Isak is well and truly on his own. He wipes off his sweaty palms on his pants. Soon. So soon. He’ll get to meet the one musician who so closely says what he wishes he could say. He’s heard only good things. He’s apparently a really cool guy. Even the Balloon Squad guys from earlier boasted about how kind he was. He has no reason to worry. He is confident. He hopes he’s confident, at least

Then, there he is. Walking toward him. 

“Hi,” Isak manages to get out, and Even stops, looking confused.

“Uh, hi?”

“I just...I wanted to say that I admire you and really like your music.” He lets out a heavy breath. He’s done it. He’s met Even. He smiles. 

“Isak Valtersen?” Even asks. Isak nods. “Well, Isak, I’d love to keep talking but I have a strict, anti-asshole policy that I abide by and you’re just about the biggest asshole I can think of, so, respectfully, fuck yourself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Even sings is[ Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole by Martha Wainwright ](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwiw7_e12afUAhVHfiYKHbFrCEcQyCkIKjAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DCjy71RPGnkA&usg=AFQjCNHhb61CThl4Jh7ehtbxKdzFhYD3OA&sig2=FfgrpE3M0O-40rPqaoFtbA)  
> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Come On, Set the Tone Tumblr](https://comeonsetthetone-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Isak’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/6gLN1ZtFTX44jsKIDp5p49)!  
> [Even’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/3bPGjf7mBaM8pzz1JeZrnX)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> Send us any questions on the tumblr as well. We sometimes make announcements there too. :)


	2. EVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! We're posting this early (by like an hour but still). We're so happy you guys like it!

Even loves his job. Lately, however, it’s been a bit much. He’s had a...not so great day.

He’d found out from Yousef that Balloon Squad, aka his best friends, were planning on signing to StarMark. This wouldn’t be such a big deal if they hadn’t promised him, specifically, that they wouldn’t. If it was just their choice, he wouldn’t care, but he’d written more than half their music with them and he didn’t want it part of some corporate money making scheme. Plus, he doesn't want to see them...changed or molded into what a label thinks they should be. They're quirky and new and he doesn't want them to lose that. He shouldn't care about it as much as he does. 

Maybe it’s not a big deal, but it’s aggravating anyway. He wouldn’t be so upset if they’d signed anywhere else. Maybe a little disappointed, but not mad.

So while his day’s been fairly awful, it’s really just the culmination of a horrible few weeks.

First, his flight had been delayed from Austin to Seattle, which made him miss his littlest sister’s 7th birthday. He'd specifically booked a red eye to be able to make it back in time, but it didn’t end up leaving until the next morning anyway. By the time he finally got on the plane, he was exhausted but, paradoxically, couldn’t seem to fall asleep. He guessed that his exhaustion, in combination with being trapped in a steel tube with 300 strangers, is what made him catch some god awful virus. 

The fact he was practically dead did not, however, stop him from having to take care of all the work he had to do anyway. There were some smaller gigs and interviews, not to mention daily songwriting, but day 4 of the cold from hell was his interview and photoshoot with Hazard, which just happened to be one of the most prestigious music magazines in the world. When he was a kid, he collected every cover of that magazine. It was his dream to be on that cover. Now, he would get to be.

But, instead of getting to enjoy it, he got to suffer through 6 hours of feeling like death with a 102 fever and a voice that barely worked. He made it through the interview between fits of coughs, and he's pretty sure the writer didn't like him very much. His mom had called in the middle and they’d had a short conversation - all on the record - which certainly wasn’t ideal.

The day after, he flew to New York to do press there but ended up having to cancel everything anyway. He was too sick to even get out of bed, let alone do some interview for a blog. So he stayed holed up in his suite, living off of room service and minibar water bottles.

Luckily by the time he was supposed to leave he was feeling marginally better, but on the way to his gate at JFK saw a Rush Magazine advertising an exclusive interview with Sonja, his ex. “Reclusive Even’s ex tells all!” She'd promised him she wouldn't do exactly this sort of thing, but there she was, doing it anyway. The most frustrating part was the fact he’d finally started to get around to being friends again after their break up. 

Back in Seattle, he'd gone through the arduous process of hiring a manager/PR person to handle all his appointments, as opposed to his ratty notebook which was currently holding all his press and gig engagements. He'd realized about halfway through his stint at the Plaza that he really couldn't deal with everything all by himself.

His mom had, of course, chastised him for not letting her take care of him when he wasn't feeling well, but he didn't argue. Even though he's 19, almost 20, and has his own apartment (and his own cat - Zimmerman) he knows that his mom still sees him as a little kid, and he can't blame her. He absolutely hates being taken care of, but he makes an exception for his mom.

He got to spend about a week at home before having to head to Osci, and most of that time was spent on strict vocal rest - so his vocal chords could recover from a week and a half of coughing fits - practicing finger picking patterns on his guitar. He'd managed to catch his left hand in the door of a cab, so he had to get it back into playing condition. Not to mention he wasn’t completely over the stupid cold - his immune system is next to nonexistent, and it certainly didn’t help when he was up half the night trying to perfect a picking pattern.

So, overall, it had been an exceptionally shitty few weeks. Of course, he has to be grateful for everything he has at the moment. Fame is fickle, so he's lucky he even has the chance to do what he loves. Also, he's been able to actually handle his family’s financial situation, which has taken a huge weight off his shoulders. So, he shouldn't complain. 

But, on his way to Osci, with his hands aching and his phone blowing up with apology texts from Yousef, he’s having trouble.

\---

When he’s on stage, everything else disappears. It sounds cliche, he knows that, but the sharp edges of his world blur and the only thing he thinks about is the next breath. He registers emotions and sensations (the cheers of the crowd, The heat of the lights, A glimpse of a face) and releases them. Each moment on stage is a unique moment that he will barely remember but knows he will never live again. 

The adrenaline has cut out everything but the essentials, and his fingers glide easily over the fretboard. It’s second nature.

He likes treating the audience like a friend, and even though the staff told him in rehearsal to make his set more concrete - currently, it was a mixture of suggestions from the crowd and a list that only existed in his head - he managed to convince them his method was better. People liked to feel like they were part of the performance, and he likes having something to lean on.

So far, he's played three or four songs and is currently in the middle of Drive, the song he'd written after his break up with Sonja only a week before [_his album_ ](https://comeonsetthetone-au.tumblr.com/post/160633016802/music-industry-au)dropped. 

“Some songs with the same old beats,” he sings, and one of his fingers catches. He misses a note. He keeps going, but looks out to see if anyone’s noticed. No, but there’s a boy in the middle of the crowd, and when Even sees him he feels his breath catch. He’s like a beam of sunlight. Gorgeous. He’s smiling with his whole face, holding onto his friend’s hand, jumping in time to the music even though it doesn’t make much sense. 

After a few moments, he remembers he’s supposed to be focused on the performance. Still, he can’t tear his eyes away. 

He keeps playing, imagining it's just him and this boy in the crowd. Just the two of them. Even is singing just to this guy, and they’re home, at his apartment, and they’re on the couch together. There are no amps, no mics, no speakers - just them and that boy’s gorgeous smile.

When he gets to the last chorus, the crowd starts to clap in time, and the blonde boy is no exception. He stretches out the last few chords, just wanting to see the smile for a little while longer.

Fuck, he hasn't felt this kind of attraction in a long time. Maybe ever.

\---

As he walks off stage, taking a swig from his water bottle, he sees a figure standing by the side of the stage, by the equipment. The sun has already started to set, and in the half-darkness, it's hard to make out who it is. Probably Elias? Yousef, come to shower him with yet another apology?

When he gets closer he realizes it’s a kid standing in front of him. Even is immediately confused. Does the Osci security realize that fans are in restricted spaces? He's about to try and find one of the security guards - Enrique - when the kid speaks.

“Hi,” he says, and Even suddenly realizes that this is the guy from the crowd. The blonde guy. The lips. The eyes. It's all the same, except now, it's only a few feet away. He looks different in the strange, half shadows cast by the stage.

“Uh, hi?” He replies a bit too late. The guy opens his mouth and starts talking again but Even is having trouble focusing on anything he’s saying. His heart is beating harder than he'd like it to. After a few seconds of zoning out, he finally - actually - recognizes the guy in front of him. Again. Of course. Just his luck. Isak Valtersen. 

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly why he dislikes Isak. The boy is seriously attractive, obviously - now that Even knows it’s him, he can’t believe he’d been half obsessed throughout most of the show - and his voice is insane, but Even’s pretty sure it’s the...inauthenticity that irks him. His music is cheap and manufactured and overpriced. His interviews are forced and his “coming out” was pretty transparently a carefully timed ploy to promote [_his second album_ ](https://comeonsetthetone-au.tumblr.com/post/160491730027/music-industry-au). He’s in ads for department stores. He gets his teeth whitened. His little fake laugh in interviews is disgusting, he is exactly the type of person Even wants to avoid. Not to mention he's one of the most successful artists from StarMark.

“Isak Valtersen?” He asks. Isak nods, a little smile forming on his face. “Well, Isak, I’d love to keep talking but I have a strict, anti-asshole policy that I abide by and you’re just about the biggest asshole I can think of, so, respectfully, fuck yourself.” Too harsh? Maybe. But Even hasn’t exactly had the chance to let out all the frustration that’s been building up over the past few weeks and it all seems to be pouring out now. Isak looks shell shocked. He stutters for a moment before speaking.

“That’s a pretty rude fucking thing to say,” he shoots back, his face starting to go red. “You don’t know me. Why am I an asshole?”

“Your music. Your personality,” Even states matter-of-factly. He doesn't like to make a habit of being mean or dismissive but shit, if this kid wants to go at it Even will gladly oblige. He has more than enough aggravation.

“You don’t exactly have the best personality yourself. It’s...pretentious garbage. You act like you don't care about anything and it's childish.” Isak makes a face as if even being in the same room as Even pains him. 

“Really great meeting you,” Even finishes with a tight smile, and walks past the younger boy without another word.

“Fuck you!” Isak shouts after him, and it makes Even laugh.

“No thanks babe!” he shouts back, not even bothering to look over his shoulder.

\---

It isn't long before he bumps into Yousef and Elias. Yousef is holding what looks like an excessive quantity of Korean tacos, and Elias is trying to eat a cup of bright orange soup with only one free hand. They must’ve gone to one of the food trucks.

“Boys!” Even shouts when he sees them. “What's up?”

“This is the fucking shit man! We’re playing shows with more than 100 people,” Elias says bringing Even into a brief hug, nearly spilling the soup over the back of Evens t-shirt. 

He grabs the bag of equipment in Elias’s other hand, and he gives him a grateful smile, taking a generous spoonful of the neon...sludge? Even isn't quite sure. 

“Bro! You’ll never guess who came to our show!” Yousef says, handing Even one of the tacos. He takes a bite, not really registering the flavor - he's so hungry he'll eat anything at this point. “That’s beef, by the way. You like beef, yeah?”

“Yeah. Who?” he asks through a mouthful.

“Isak Fucking Valtersen. And Jonas Vasquez. And they came and talked to us and everything. It was fucking surreal man.”

“Dude.” Even says shortly, raising his eyebrows, and Yousef frowns.

“What?” Yousef asks.

“Isak Valtersen is a...” He can’t quite find the right word. “A shitbag.” Yousef rolls his eyes.

“Ok, that may or may not be true, but either way he's...he's signed to StarMark. We’re gonna be working with him,” he says slowly, and Even sighs.

“He's the worst of the industry condensed into one person,” he replies, though not with much enthusiasm. They've heard his thoughts on the corporate music scene countless times.

“Why are you so fixated?” Elias asks.

“I'm not fixated, I couldn't care less about him,” Even shoots back and Elias shrugs.

“It makes no sense. He was really nice to us. He was also straight up gushing about everyone. Even you dude,” he says, and takes another spoonful of what Even assumes is carrot...something. Some of it spills and leaves a bright orange blotch on his t-shirt. “Fuck!”

“Look, I don’t care what he said about me,” Even says, and this time Elias doesn't contradict him. “If you guys like him, whatever. And you're signing with StarMark...that's chill, I'll always support you.” Elias frowns slightly but doesn't argue.

“What are the rest of your plans for Osci? Want to go get hammered with the boys?” Yousef asks, and Even shrugs, finishing off the taco.

“Yeah, I guess. You know I’m not drinking though, right?” Yousef nods. “Maybe some other time I can chaperone and record for Snapchat. Where's Mikael?”

“Mikael’s off trying to find Isak,” Elias says after a beat of silence. Even tries to maintain a straight face, but he's sure Elias can tell he's irritated. “They ran into each other backstage. They had a long conversation I guess. I don't know man. You know how he is once he decides he's going to be friends with someone,” Elias finishes, and Even nods. He's not going to stop anyone from making friends with anyone else, but that doesn't mean it isn't a little aggravating. A lot aggravating. 

“That's fine. Maybe I'll just head home. I haven't seen Thea in a while. Plus, I still kind of feel like shit from last week,” he says, and Elias scoffs.

“Those are pretty lame excuses but whatever, man. We’ll hang with those girls from BL!SS. They're cute as hell. I think Mutta wants an autograph,” Elias says, and Yousef smiles.

“Yeah, I’m sure they’d die over an up and coming boyband with 100 facebook likes. Say hi to the other boys for me, ok?” Even asks, setting down the gig bag, pulling his sunglasses on. Elias laughs.

“No need to be so cruel. Love you, bro.”

\---

Even had forgotten how few of the people who attended Osci fit into his view of what the festival should actually be. He had to (on several occasions) restrain himself from physically pulling brightly colored feather headdresses off of drunken audience members as they were shrieking drunken bullshit. He had settled for a few instances of verbal chewing out and calls to security, but still. He’s letting the less blatant cultural appropriation slide for his own sanity but really, he’s having some trouble. 

It's not like it's a surprise, but it still irks him. After calling out someone for a full native American headdress, he needed a break from being the racism police.

Overall though, Osci has been fairly nice. Pretty clean, not too much drug use - some of the other festivals he’s played have been hellholes. He thinks it might come with the notoriety. Osci attracts audiences not just from California and the East coast, but also from all over the world. Large groups of people pour in by the busload to see the main stage during the second weekend, while the first is reserved for less popular acts. 

He's been looking into a tour with [_BL!SS_ ](https://comeonsetthetone-au.tumblr.com/post/160422434162/music-industry-au-blss-members-eva-vilde), a girl group that he actually admires for their songwriting. He doesn't hate label artists on principle - how could he? - just a few. The word with BL!SS is that they want at least two fellow headliners (not to mention an assortment of openers). While they do work with his least favorite label, it isn’t a total deal-breaker.

It's rumored that Jonas might join, which would be nice enough. Not as a headliner, but still. Jonas is talented, but a major stoner.

Even’s hoping he’ll snag one of the headliner spots - though he's not in this for the money, money can be a pretty nice thing to have in life, and headlining a tour is a fat paycheck. Of course he'd join as an opener if they asked, but he'd like to actually headline. He doesn't have the resources for his own tour at the moment, and his fans have been begging for one, so it would work out if he could actually join in with BL!SS. 

It’s shaping up to be massive. Several buses, actual production companies requesting to work on the tour, a woven in press tour. Everything that Even wants to be able to give the fans that have been there since the beginning when he was barely scraping by and putting out self released songs on SoundCloud every month. Depending on how it goes, it could make or break his next album (at least in terms of mainstream audience recognition). His music and their messages will either be launched into a sphere of broader public consciousness, or fall into indie obscurity. He can’t wait.

He’d started playing music when he was only 5 or 6, and once he got good at the piano, he decided to buy the guitar he saw in the window of the thrift store a few blocks from his house. He taught himself from books borrowed from the library, and after a while got pretty good at that too. 

He started practicing classical pieces and auditioned for this music institute in new York when he was 10. By some stroke of luck, he got accepted, and that was where he really started to believe it could be possible to do music for the rest of his life. From there on out he spent every spare moment writing and playing and searching for places that would let him perform.

Now, he’s lucky enough to actually make enough money to eat. A tour would just add to him being able to share what he loves with the people who (almost magically) love to listen to him.

\---

He pulls out his phone and tweets. 

[_Playing osci has been one of my dreams since i was a kid._ ](https://comeonsetthetone-au.tumblr.com/post/160632482692/music-industry-au-new-chapter-tonight-at-7pm)

_can’t wait to get back to seattle tho away from the fake shit in cali. everyone knows ur hair isnt naturally like that boi #bottleblonde_ He was genuinely surprised how many guys in California dyed their hair yet wouldn't admit it. He'd seen a literal street fight between two guys who both thought the other wasn't naturally blonde, but neither would admit it. 

A few minutes later, he starts to get an insane amount of replies.

There’s a tweet from Isak.

 _At least I don’t wear a fucking bandana @EVBN :)_

He’s confused for a moment before realizing that Isak must think the tweet is aimed at him. He suppresses an audible groan. Who the fuck does this guy think he is?

 _get out of my face tinkerbell_ he types without thinking. There's an immediate response.

_Fuck you. Don’t be homophobic._

_??? blonde hair ? shitty attitude ? + im bi soooo… #isakhasntseenpeterpan2k17_

_It’s a book as well. That I’ve read?_

_wow. he can read. catch up on your disney and get back to me._

Even quickly writes another tweet.

 _let's get this trending: #isakwatchesdisney2k17 truly tragic :(_

There's a quick response from Isak’s account.

 _Let’s get this trending: #EVBNjamesdeanwannabe2k17_ Even almost laughs out loud.

_thanks for the promo, love <3_

Even smiles, quickly typing a new tweet.

_autocorrect. i meant shitbag._

\---

At the airport, he sees he has a new text. Sonja.

_don’t be so weird on social media. Aggression doesn’t sell albums. Just a tip. <3_

He laughs to himself, typing back a message.

_1\. i wasn’t even talking about that dickweed in the first place, he started it 2. aggression is basically the only thing that sells my albums 3. i don’t need your advice. i’m just fine without you thanks._

_Chill. I wasn’t trying to start anything. Are you taking your meds?_

_sometimes i wonder why we broke up then you ask me shit like this and i remember. fuck you. :)_

_I’m just worried about you. Don’t swear at me._

_you don’t have to be worried about me anymore we’re not dating remember?_

He pauses before writing another text.

_i can have emotions without being manic._

_I know baby I just get worried about you. I know you can get worked up. It's ok. I just wanna make sure you're ok._

_not your baby._

_lmk when you’re back in seattle. We should get coffee._

_we’ll see_

Even would love to say no, but some stupid part of him actually wants to preserve this thing with Sonja. They dated for almost 4 years. She knows him maybe better than he knows himself. Can he really give that up? He's not sure.

\---

Once he can finally check his phone after take off, he sees a new text from Mikael. 

_:(_

_what’s wrong?_

_:( :( :(_

_why are you pouting?_

_:( :( :( **:( :( :(**_

_i’m sorry?_

_ >:( You should be, asshole._

_what?_

_Isak is like the coolest person I’ve ever met._

_you just met him???_

_You made him fucking cry. Don’t text me until Wednesday. :)_ Even suppresses the urge to sigh out loud.

_he insulted me? also it is so fucking funny to me that he cried over some bullshit on twitter_

_you insulted him first. You implied he dyed his hair._

_oh my god no i was talking about some asshole i saw on the beach. christ there are a lot of blondes in the world you think he'd be more discerning_

_well u were mean to him in person too!_

Even sighs, leaning back in his seat, closing his eyes. The plane is noisy, but he's so tired he might be able to fall asleep anyway. 

You know what? He doesn’t need to listen to all of these people who are telling him that he should apologize or something like that. He owes nothing to the stupid blonde popstar.

His fans don't seem too bothered. He’s doing his own thing with his own music and other people have no right to try and dictate what he does. Just because Mikael is star struck doesn't mean Even has to change his mind about the guy.

Besides, musicians get into fights on twitter all the time. Why should he have to apologize? He's sure he's done too much damage to repair the relationship even if he wanted to - which he doesn't, to be clear. So, it’s useless to even think about it. Yet...here he is. Thinking about it. 

He opens Isak’s twitter. There's a screenshot of a paragraph from his notes app.

_to straighten things out (no pun intended), I really admired Even’s music for a long time and am really disappointed to find out he's an asshole. I started out the day trying to hunt him down to thank him for all he’s done for me through his music. It didn’t really pan out (obviously). That said, I wouldn't call myself a fan anymore. I won't respect or admire someone with that much prejudice and hatred. To my fans, much love. Even, if you're reading this, consider this my official statement of apathy. I don’t need people like you in my life. Much love <3 _

Isak saving face and making him look like an asshole. Typical. 

Fuck, he's attractive though. Such a waste.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Come On, Set the Tone Tumblr](https://comeonsetthetone-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Isak’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/6gLN1ZtFTX44jsKIDp5p49)!  
> [Even’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/3bPGjf7mBaM8pzz1JeZrnX)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> Send us any questions on the tumblr as well. We sometimes make announcements there too. :)


	3. ISAK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter yay!

Isak is in deep shit. He’s really fucked up this time and there’s nothing he can do about it. He, an irritable, but usually nice, dude had got into a twitter fight with, his celebrity crush and former music inspiration, Even Bech Næsheim. There’s no way that he’ll be able to face his bosses or his friends ever again. 

When he first saw the tweet from Even he only felt numb. He had already cried himself nearly out of tears earlier after his disastrous encounter with him in person which was probably childish but he doesn’t care. Even made it very clear through his music and press that he hated fakes and rip-offs and the capitalist side of the music industry - Isak just never thought that included him. Also, it was a bit of a low blow to go for his personality. Even didn’t know shit about him. How he possibly judge his personality?

Before the stupid fight on twitter he wouldn’t have said he hated Even, but now...he’s not sure. Even definitely isn’t the person he hates most. He has quite a list if he’s being fair, and Even probably doesn’t even break the top five. He might bump him up to top three just as a special one time offer because of the recent nature of his offense, but really, why should he waste his time on the hipster garbage water that is an artist with only five good songs?

Ok, so maybe he does hate Even. Maybe it was the weird idolization clouding his vision, but he seems to be noticing more and more things he despises about him. His stupid guitar riffs. He’s always either wearing sunglasses or has them perched on top of his head. The way he flirts with everyone but has a girlfriend - at least Isak is pretty sure he has a girlfriend.

Isak’s phone, however, doesn’t seem to agree with his choice that he should ignore Even. All of his messages are from various people either taking his side or chewing him out. He (again) has far too many messages from Jonathan, but he’s come to expect that. He can’t really go anywhere without a _who did you fuck?_ message or something similar, so he’s gotten pretty good at ignoring them. 

Chris has sent him several consolation “I’m sorry your dream future boyfriend was a complete ass to you not just in person but also online in front of your several million follower audience” messages (surprisingly she has had to send many of these highly specific messages to various people and is quite the expert, even if they only serve to remind him of his failings).

But really (his brain can’t seem to let this go) why does Even hate him? Is he really that unlikable? What is he doing wrong? Is he a bad person? Not that he’d want to be friends with him now, but it just...bothers him. 

The new issue of [Hazard is out...with Even on the cover.](https://comeonsetthetone-au.tumblr.com/post/160887950522/music-industry-au) In four years, Isak hasn’t once been on the cover. It makes his blood boil. 

He flips to the page with the interview and starts to read.

_”I’m alright.” These are the first words we hear the infamous EVBN say as he walks into the studio for the photoshoot, looking half dead. Funnily enough, these are the same words that serve as the title for his debut album. The record, which has over 200 million plays on Spotify alone, has been a success beyond even his wildest expectations._

_Over the course of the shoot, it becomes clear that Bech Næsheim, who usually works under the pseudonym “EVBN,” is not doing well. His voice is shot and it’s clear to almost everyone that he’s sick - “not contagious,” he reassures, but other than a few quick responses to producers that he’s alright, he doesn’t bring it up._

_When I mention during our interview that anyone else would have canceled, he just laughs, shaking his head._

_“It’s not a big deal.”_

_Contrary to the persona he puts forth in his songs, he’s surprisingly good natured and easy going. He chats with the photographer about some book they’d both read recently between takes, and he poses for a selfie with the daughter of a producer._

_EVBN is notorious for his stunning and often profane EPs, but his first full album is what’s launched him into the realm of stardom._

_“Before,” he says, “I really only had fans in the online sphere. Never in real life. I never suspected the album would do so well. It’s...overwhelming.”_

_Despite the success of the record, he hasn’t considered signing to a label, though many have approached him with generous offers._

_“I don’t care about the money. I care about the art.”_

_When asked to describe exactly what he means by that, he pauses before giving a surprisingly eloquent response._

_“Art is controlled by the artist. If it isn’t, for whatever reason - if it’s controlled by a label, a fear, a monetary barrier - it’s not art. It’s a product. I’m not a capitalist posing as an artist. I’m an artist trying not to get eaten alive.” He pauses. “And it’s not as if I hate people who work with labels and do promotional deals - I don’t. Most labels do their best to help artists, most artists are doing their best, just like I am.”_

_When I ask about his love life he rolls his eyes, biting his lip, before he answers._

_“Complicated at the moment. However cliche that sounds.”_

_Bech Næsheim is an outspoken member of the LGBT community, and though the songs from this latest album allude to a romance, he’s reluctant to give up any details._

_“This person was in my life for a long time, and before the album came out we had a deep gouge taken out of our relationship. Some of the tracks were written days before the release. I just couldn’t keep all of it bottled up anymore.”_

_As the day rolls on and he poses for more photos, it’s clear whatever his illness is, it’s getting the better of him. Still, he insists on finishing the shoot. Bech Næsheim’s most famous song contains the line his album is named for, “I will not pretend, I will not put on a smile, I will not say I’m alright for you.” But, the man we see - Even - is perhaps more thoughtful than his musical counterpart. He will put on a smile, and there are truths he won’t shout from the rooftops._

_When we ask him why, if he doesn’t care for pretending, he seems to be, he takes a moment to reply._

_“I’m assuming you’re talking about Bloody Mother, and I get this question a lot - if I feel that way why am I still uh...a...pleasant person? The song is...sometimes what I think. What I wish I could say and feel but I...don’t. The album’s called ‘I’m Alright’ because though I might not be that’s what I say, and some of the album is just me wishing I was more honest. Songwriting is the only way I can do that. Break down that wall.”_

_When asked for another example, he brings up his second most famous single, Drive._

_“That song is another one where I...wish I could do what I say I do in the song. Drive away. But...I don’t. I can’t. Just like I can’t bring myself to call people bloody motherfuckers. I’m not the guy who doesn’t care. I just wish I could be.”_

_It’s at about this time in our conversation that his phone starts to ring._

_“I’m so sorry about this. It’s my mom, can I take it quickly?” I tell him it’ll be on the record, and he nods, answering. “Hey, this is a bad time...No, I wasn’t asleep...I’ve been getting enough sleep...Yes, I have...Yeah, I’m fine, trust me...You’ll see. It’s really cool...Hazard, the magazine...Normal...Yes, I used a thermometer...I’m not lying...Ok, 102, but it doesn’t matter, does it?...I really have to go...Yes, I do...Ok, I will. Love you. Bye.” He hangs up, immediately starting to apologize, but stops abruptly when asked about his family life._

_He explains he has two mothers who got married “the day it was legalized,” and one sibling, 7-year-old Thea. Since he told one of them yesterday he’d been ill, they hadn’t let the issue drop._

_He’s adopted and describes briefly his experience living with his birth father._

_“I have a weak immune system. I got that from my dad. It’s just another thing that ties us together in a negative way. My childhood wasn’t the greatest. I was...abused, really. After my birth mom died, my birth dad was neglectful. I was malnourished for a little while. I took a lot of treatment to get me back on track after I was adopted. Guess they overshot though? But in all seriousness, I try not to let it get in my way, but sometimes…” He trails off. “I’m really lucky. I’ve been really lucky in my life, and I never forget that. My parents love me, I’ve had success in my career, and there are too many other things to count.”_

_At the end of the day, Bech Næsheim leaves visibly exhausted, but overwhelmingly kind. EVBN is a wild, colorful, and confident contradiction - one we hope will stay as strong a force in the industry as he is now._

__

Isak sighs and puts down the magazine before reaching for his notebook to write down the words that come to him. Even is so...relatable. His life...his dreams...all of it. If he hadn’t been such a dipshit, maybe they could have been friends. Well, at least Isak thinks Even's relatable - he didn't read too carefully. Something about gay moms...no dad? He doesn't remember. Fuck it, he doesn't hurt.

Even after what feels like an eternity, he has no words to write. Usually, at times like this, he’s able to pour out line after line, but today...he’s distracted.

He’s sort of (more than just a little) pissed that he’s not the one getting interviewed for Hazard. It’s the most famous music magazine in the country, if not the world, and just because Even is some indie darling he gets a spot on the cover.

Isak has been working nonstop since he was 14. He has put up with so much shit from everyone. Yes, he’s had a lot of success, but really, Even? The line about how “anyone else would’ve canceled” irks him too. Isak wouldn’t have canceled. 

Even has a sob story - gay moms, adopted, some weird illness. Isak hasn’t had the easiest time either - but he’s not out bragging about it.

Shit, maybe he does hate Even. That would make things a lot easier. Less ambiguity to deal with.

“Hey,” Noora’s voice says from the doorway, and Isak looks up from his blank notebook page.

“Hey.” He gives her a small smile and she smiles back. She leans against the doorframe, crossing her arms.

“Have a minute?” Isak nods, and she walks into the studio, sitting next to him on the couch. “Do you know if you’re gonna be going on the Heartbreaker tour?” Isak sighs, closing his notebook.

“Don’t know. Eva asked me a while ago, but I was thinking of saying no because I figured I’d be doing my own for the new album anyway...but...that’s not happening now, so…” He trails off. “I’d like to, yeah.” Noora nods.

“Ok, that’s cool. They wanted me to come, but I don’t know. Sometimes it can be a bit much with just them, and we’re supposed to work on rewrites, so I wouldn’t want to go if you weren’t.” Isak nods.

“I’ll go. I’ll have to talk to Jonathan but I think it should be fine, considering. Don’t you have Wobbles shit though?” Noora makes a face somewhere between a grimace and a smile.

“Yeah. Linn and Eskild are already going along though, so, I’m guessing we won’t be doing much while we’re touring with you.” Noora is - somehow, Isak doesn’t know quite how - a member and songwriter for the popular children’s band The Wobbles. She writes all their music and Eskild and Linn produce and play. They’re extremely popular in their own sphere, but the label just likes that the performers also do all the grunt work themselves. Saves on time and money.

Noora’s written some of the most famous (non-children’s) songs of the past few years, and she’s become a bit of a hot commodity lately. Isak’s just glad they’re friends.

“I have to see if William will let me go, though,” she finally says, and Isak winces. William is Noora’s on again off again boyfriend - the son of the label’s vice president, no less - and Isak wonders if he’s really the right person for her. 

“He…” Isak trails off not knowing exactly how to continue. “He should respect your decisions and support you. If you want to go, you can always visit him.” Noora nods, looking pensive, and Isak knows he’s said the right thing. 

“Yeah. I’ll bring it up tonight. Keep thinking up some mainstream pop songs, Isak,” she says, raising her eyebrows before getting up and walking out into the hall, waving.

_Mainstream pop songs._ Just what he feels like writing. Isak sighs. He’ll ask about the tour, and then maybe something will come to him. 

\---

“I heard from Noora that you’re thinking about Heartbreaker?” Jonathan asks, and Isak nods. 

“Yeah,” he says. There’s not much to it.

“Do you really think that leaving so soon is a good idea? Have you really earned it?”

“It’s still work. I’m still going to be doing promo on the road. It isn’t starting for a few weeks.”

“I don't know if I want to let you go so soon.” He walks closer, running his fingers through Isak’s hair. He runs his eyes over him slowly, almost like he’s hungry, then steps back. Isak feels his throat start to close like it does when he’s about to cry, but he swallows hard. It’s not like Jonathan’s 80 or something - he can’t be more than 40. Maybe Isak should be flattered by the attention. It always makes him feel sick though, no matter how much he tells himself it’s because he’s attractive or talented or wanted. He can’t seem to rationalize it.

“I think I need to go,” Isak says in a rush and turns to leave. 

“We’ll talk later, doll,” Jonathan calls after him. 

\---

He isn’t running. He doesn’t need to run. Maybe he is...speed walking faster than necessary. His heart feels like it’s beating in his throat. 

He slams hard into someone, and he prays it isn’t someone who hates him.

“Whoa, slow down,” Eskild says, and Isak breathes a shuddering sigh of relief. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, I’m fine.” Eskild is one of his closest friends. He’s a producer, and he’s been working with the label about the same time. He was one of the main people who helped him with this new album. He was also slated to be the tour manager.

“You sure about that? You don’t look fine.”

“I’m fine Eskild!” Isak almost shouts. Eskild’s face falls and he takes a deep breath before continuing. “Drop it. Just...please...drop it.”

“Do you need a hug?” He asks. Usually, Isak is all for cuddling, but right now with his skin crawling and sticky with sweat? He’s on the edge of something (full blown panic, not that he would admit that) and can’t deal with another...thing.

“No, Eskild. It’s fine.” 

\---

As soon as he opens the door to his apartment, he’s greeted by Joni, the little black kitten he adopted a few months ago. It’s safe to say he loves Joni more than almost anyone, and she’s definitely his best friend. They’re essentially inseparable - sometimes he’ll even bring her to the studio. Whenever he gets anxious, which is almost a daily occurrence, she somehow manages to make him feel better.

“Meow.”

“I know. Sorry I was gone so long. Hungry?” he asks, and she meows again. He smiles. “Ok. Chill for a minute, I’ve gotta grab it.” He puts down his backpack on the sofa, walking through the open floor plan to the kitchen, Joni trailing close behind. She jumps up onto the counter, nuzzling his arm until he starts to pet her. “You’re so needy, know that?”

“Meow.” The apartment is modern, mostly white, and full of sharp edges. It isn’t exactly his preference, but it was what was available close enough to the studio.

“I had a shitty day,” he says, and she nuzzles his hand. He cracks a smile, putting her food in the little dish by the couch. He sits down, taking off his shoes, flopping backward onto the cushions. He lies there for a few minutes, staring up at the strange, almost alien, chandelier until Joni finishes eating and curls up next to him. “I might be going on tour.” She purrs, and he sighs. “I’ll bring you for sure, don’t worry. I’m sure they let cats on the tour bus.”

His phone starts to vibrate, and when he looks at the screen he sees it’s his reminder to call his mom. He smiles, sitting up and dialing her number. She picks up after a few rings.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Mom.”

“Hello, baby! How are you today?” She sounds so happy it almost makes him want to lie about his crappy week.

“Uh...I’m alright. Not so great.”

“Aw, I’m sorry love.”

“No, it’s ok.”

“What happened?”

“Just some stuff with the new album and some other artist...It’s ok. How are you?”

“Doing well. I’m glad you called. I get worried.”

“I know, I’m sorry I haven’t been calling more often.”

“You’re busy, I understand. I just don’t want you working yourself too hard again.” 

Last year he’d ended up in the hospital for a cold that turned into the flu that turned into pneumonia - all essentially because he didn’t want to stop working. Well, he’d wanted to stop, but deadlines combined with an intense fear of being fired or, even worse, harassed by Jonathan, forced him out of bed every day. Of course, his mother had been worried out of her mind, and it’s taken a while to convince her he’s alright living on his own in New York.

“I won’t. Trust me. I might be touring soon, I’ll let you know if I’m coming close to home. I can get you a ticket.”

“Two tickets. One for dad,” his mom reminds, and Isak sighs.

“Yeah. Two tickets,” he reluctantly agrees. If his mom is willing to try to mend things with his (piece of shit) father, then he will try to respect that. It doesn’t mean he’ll be mending anything though.

“How’s Joan?” Isak’s confused for a moment before he smiles.

“Joni, you mean?” He asks, and his mother laughs.

“Your cat.”

“She’s doing great.” She purrs next to him on the couch and he rests a hand on her back.

“I’m glad Eva convinced you to get a pet. I think it’s nice.” There’s a long silence. “Well, unless you want to talk for a little while more I think I should go.”

“That’s ok. I’ll talk to you again soon.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

He hangs up, lying back down on the couch. 

\---

“Isak! Isak!” He hears as he’s crossing the lobby of the StarMark building. He turns with a forced smile, expecting so fan who has gotten into his place of work somehow and is pleasantly surprised to see Mikael of Balloon Squad practically skipping to catch up with him, the rest of the band strolling more slowly behind. 

“Hey man,” he says, taking out his earbuds.

“I wanted you to know that even though I’m friends with Even I’m not going to be a jerk,” Mikael says, and the mention of Even makes Isak’s heart clench. He forces a smile.

“Yeah, that’s cool. You guys are here to sign, right?” Mikael nods, and a few of the other boys catch up. The tallest, (is his name Yousef?), puts a hand on Mikael’s shoulder.

“C’mon, we gotta go,” he says, not acknowledging Isak’s presence.

“Oh, Isak, this is Yousef. He’s amazing. You guys have met, right?” Isak shakes his head. “Oh! Well, this is Yousef.”

“Nice to meet you,” Isak says, and Yousef gives a little tight lipped smile. He gives Mikael a pointed look.

“What?” Mikael asks.

“We’re running late, I think,” another boy agrees, and Isak starts to understand. They’re close with Even.

“I get it. It’s fine. Just uh, give Even a hug from me, yeah?” He says sarcastically, and Yousef sighs.

“Even isn’t in charge of what we do. We’re gonna be working here. With you. It’s stupid, all this stuff,” he says. “But he shouldn’t feel the need to go after you.”

“It’s not like it’s a one-sided feud. I’m not...very fond of him either,” Isak says, rolling his eyes. Mikael laughs.

“He can be a bit much,” he says, and Yousef sighs, looking slightly uncomfortable while the other boys laugh. “Kind of pretentious.”

“My God, yeah,” Isak agrees. “Did you read his thing in Hazard?” They nod, all still smiling, save for Yousef.

“That shit about capitalism and art and everything? I love the guy but he’s a fucking trip,” Elias says, and the other boys nod - except Yousef.

“Anyway, we’re headed to the 68th floor,” Yousef says, and Isak nods. As they walk away, Mikael winks and Isak winks back. Maybe this working together thing won’t be as bad as he thought it would be. 

\---

He wants to sign the contract as quickly as possible. It’s the document that will put him on this 9-week tour. 

The room feels claustrophobic and he can feel the stares of everyone who is legally required to watch him write his name out. He’d already gone over the parts concerning his work in detail with a lawyer. A bunch of nameless old white people are crowded around him and he just wants this spectacle to be over. Jonathan is standing next to him. Their legs are pressed casually together. It can’t be intentional. It’s just the tightness of the room. He scribbles his name out, sighing in relief when it doesn’t look too shaky. 

It’s only after Isak finishes signing the contract that he finds the list of other acts. Most are what he’d already been told - Jonas, Balloon Squad, Wireless Problems. But there’s one new act under HEADLINERS. “EVBN.” Him, Even, and BL!SS are the official headliners. Fuck.

Why hadn’t Eva or Noora told him? Were they afraid he’d back out or something? To be fair, he probably would’ve, but it still isn’t fair. He doesn’t want to spend time with Even. It’s only going to ramp up his already considerable tour anxiety. All he can hope is that they don’t get put on the same bus.

In his experience tour buses can hold anywhere from 4 to 12 people, but usually, the larger capacity buses are reserved for crew and the smaller for the acts. Now that he’s thinking about it, chances are all the headliners will be on one coach together - they’re only 6 people, and that’s not counting Noora, Eskild, or Linn. 

9 weeks on a bus with Even might just kill him. Christ.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Come On, Set the Tone Tumblr](https://comeonsetthetone-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Isak’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/6gLN1ZtFTX44jsKIDp5p49)!  
> [Even’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/3bPGjf7mBaM8pzz1JeZrnX)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> Send us any questions on the tumblr as well. We sometimes make announcements there too. :)


	4. EVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of stuff goes down. 
> 
> Also I reference my favorite TV show (surprise! It isn't SKAM), so if you know what show, I will send you hugs :) Hahahahaha. -Chloë

“Why are the Wobbles on this tour?” Even asks, staring perplexed at the printout in front of him. 

“They’re trying to break into another demographic,” Rachel says. Even looks up sharply. Rachel is his new manager, and since he hired her everything has gone a lot smoother.

“Wait, what?” He asks, raising his eyebrows. 

“Kidding, just kidding. Your face though. Priceless.” Even rolls his eyes, looking back down at the list of acts. Jonas he knows...Wireless Problems - who are they? 

“I was trusting you on that one.” 

“No, they’re not technically on the tour, but two of the tour managers are members and the songwriter for BL!SS is too. It’s on there as a joke,” Rachel says.

“I just really hope I don’t get sick. I know with my fucking luck I will but I really hope I won’t.”

“I already scheduled an appointment for you with your doctor. Spoiler alert, vitamins. A fuckload of vitamins.” Though he and Rachel have only been working together for a few weeks, she already knows his usual methods of communication - sarcasm and profanity. Luckily, that seems to be Rachel’s default setting. “Also, we’ve talked to the hospitals in the cities where you’ll need your IVIG.” Once a month, he gets a shot that gives him all the antibodies his body can’t make on its own.

“Wait,” Even says suddenly, and she looks up from her blackberry.

“Yeah?”

“This says...Isak Valtersen.” Rachel nods. “Isak...is a headliner? Why didn’t I know about that?”

“He signed last minute.” Even can’t seem to form a clear thought. Isak. The Isak that he knows. That he hates.

“Well...what’s the bus situation?” It’s the only question he can come up with.

“Headliners and the two managers on bus 1, openers on bus 2, crew and equipment on buses 3 through 5. Why?” Even grits his teeth.

“I have to live with this guy?”

“Yup.” Rachel doesn’t seem overly concerned, starting to rifle through her purse.

“I hate him,” he clarifies, and she nods.

“I know.”

“Why didn’t you warn me?”

“Because I knew you’d want to back out and I didn’t want that to happen,” she says matter-of-factly.

“I don’t want to tour with him.” Rachel sighs and finally meets his gaze.

“But you want to tour. Look, you need the money, you love to perform, your fans are up your ass to do more shows, and this thing with this kid is bullshit. You’ll get over it. I’m not letting you throw away this incredible opportunity.”

He knows she’s right. He can’t argue. So, he puts the contract back down and stirs his bowl of cereal. Fruit Loops - Thea loves them, and they’re the only food Even has in his apartment at the moment (apart from the milk Rachel brought). There’s a soft purring from under his chair and he picks up the bright white ball of fur that’s his best friend.

“Think they’d let me bring Zimmerman?” He asks, and Rachel laughs, typing something else into her blackberry.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No.”

“Your cat. Zimmerman. Will they let you bring your cat?” Even nods. “No. They won’t let you bring your cat.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re a professional and this is a tour bus. Do you need more reasons?” she asks and Even sighs, settling himself deeper into the cushions of the couch.

“I bet Isak hates cats,” he murmurs and Rachel scoffs.

“He might be allergic?”

“He knows I have a cat and wanted me to be unhappy,” he says sarcastically, and Rachel laughs.

“That's really unlikely.”

“I know. I'm going to blame him anyhow.”

“You’re outstandingly mature. Has anyone told you that?”

“Thanks, Rach.”

\---

It’s the night before Even is flying to New York to start the tour. He’d done some minor rehearsal over the past few weeks, but they’ve been surprisingly accepting of his off-the-cuff style. He’s at dinner with his parents and sister. They’re having Indian, which is his favorite, but his stomach is rolling and he can’t seem to make himself eat.

“So you said you’ll be playing in Seattle in the next few weeks, right?” His mom, Anne, asks, and he nods.

“Yeah. I have backstage passes and everything for you already. It’s all set.” He has to admit he’s incredibly nervous. The tour was sold out. Completely. Mostly because of Isak, but still. One of the venues holds almost 10 thousand people. The thought makes his chest hurt.

“Will you be lonely?” Thea asks, and Even’s throat starts to close up like he might cry.

“He won’t be lonely, baby,” Bente, his other mother, says, and Even manages to collect himself. 

He loves her so much. His little sister. She’s so kind and sweet, almost effortlessly, that sometimes Even wonders how she got that way.

“Yeah, I won’t be lonely, little bird.” She loves it when he uses his nickname for her. She smiles.

“How long are you gone?” She asks, and he looks down at his plate for a moment before meeting her gaze again.

“Almost 3 months.” Her face falls. “I’ll call you every day. I promise,” he says, and she nods, even though she’s visibly upset.

“You’ll get to see him on stage!” Anne says, trying to cheer her up and she nods again, pushing her rice around her plate.

Even takes a deep breath, and tries once again to convince himself that this is a good idea.

\---

“So you’re the asshole that made my son cry.” There’s a man holding a sign that says EVBN on it next to the baggage carousel.

“What?” He asks, and the man laughs. 

“It’s fine. He’ll get over it. He’s a tough cookie. You’re Even. I’m Eskild. Tour Manager.” They shake hands, and Even grabs his suitcase from the carousel. This is...not what he was expecting.

“Yes. You’re from the Wobbles.” Eskild smiles and winks.

“You are single,” he says, raising an eyebrow, and Even smiles back.

“Yes. But no thanks.” Eskild laughs.

“I like you. Very tall. That’s a good sign,” he says, and Even nods. “I talked to your...manager? Is that what she is?”

“Rachel? She does everything.” Eskild narrows his eyes but keeps talking rapid fire.

“I talked to your Rachel, and she said you’ve got some medical issues. Some prescriptions?” They start to walk, and Even slips on his sunglasses, hoping no one will recognize him.

“Yeah.” Though everyone knows Even is on meds, there are very few who really know what they’re for. He’s bipolar, but the last thing he wants is everybody finding out. So, he takes care of his meds himself.

“We’ve arranged to do press on your IVIG days. Does that sound alright?” Even smiles slightly and nods. They’re Intravenous Immunoglobulin injections, for his shitty immune system. They always leave him with a bad headache at best - all over pain and a fever at the worst - but usually, no one really cares. “One condition: try not to start too much with Isak.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Even wasn’t planning on it. The last thing he wants is more bullshit to do with Isak.

“You don’t need to be best friends, just not too much fighting. That’s all I ask.”

\---

The buses are all parked in a line when he and Eskild pull up in the cab, and there are groups of crew members gathered around, loading the equipment into the storage holds. The buses are pink and white, overly bright against the cloudy gray of the sky. Even feels his heart beating in his throat. No. He’s confident. He’s cool. He’s not nervous.

He steps out of the car, running a hand through his hair.

Two guys he doesn’t recognize are striding over towards them. They look oddly familiar. From when he googled the opening acts, maybe? He racks his brain for a name.

“They’re Wireless Problems, right?” He mutters to Eskild who nods. Slightly. 

“You guys are Wireless Problems?” He says more loudly toward the two guys. 

“Yeah!” The blonde one says excitedly holding out a hand. “I’m Magnus, this is Mahdi.” Mahdi is clearly either in a bad mood, or not exactly thrilled to meet Even, but either way, he gives a brisk handshake.

“We do mostly electronic stuff,” Mahdi says. “We also don’t want there to be any fighting on this tour.”

“Yeah. It’s our first big one!” Magnus adds excitedly.

“So if you feel the need to rip into our friend again, we will find ways to make your life hell,” Mahdi says, face deadly serious.

“It’s so great to meet you! Do you want to hang out at some point?” Magnus asks, enthusiasm unchanged. 

“I heard the first hotel we have has a pool table. We could get together then?” Mahdi asks more Magnus than anyone else.

“Yeah. Sounds good,” Even responds, slightly bewildered by the exchange. 

“They’re always like that,” Eskild says as they walk off. Before Even can even ask Eskild which bus he should be getting on, a dark-haired guy in a beanie is walking toward them, waving.

“Hey!” He shouts. Eskild waves back, smiling. He recognizes him - Jonas Vasquez. Good guitar player, Even remembers. When he gets close enough, Even sees he has a skateboard under one arm.

“Look, Even,” Jonas says as soon as they’re within speaking distance. “I bet you’re probably a pretty nice guy. I respect your music and your lifestyle. What I don’t like is how our first real interaction has been tainted by the fact that you have hurt my best friend. You’re going to have to work really hard to prove to me that you aren’t an ass.” 

“I swear to God I’m not.” Jonas laughs, shaking his hand.

“Alright, chill. You’re on probation but I think we’ll be good,” he says and puts down his board. “Love the album!” he calls as he skates back toward the bus, and Even laughs.

“Uh, Eskild, is that...a cat?” he asks, and Eskild nods. There’s a small black cat sitting in the sun by one of the buses.

“Yeah, Isak’s cat.” Even frowns. 

“Why wasn’t I allowed to bring a cat?” He asks, trying not to sound like a little kid complaining.

 

“Joni is special,” Isak says, walking out of Bus 3. The little cat immediately stands, following him closely. Even’s mind goes completely blank. There he is. Isak Valtersen. He looks amazing. No, no he doesn’t. 

When Isak gets close enough, Eskild claps him on the shoulder, and Isak smiles. The little cat sits by his feet.

“Joni? Like Joni Mitchell?” Even asks, and Isak looks surprised. Almost pleased. He has a little smile on his face that’s making Even lose focus.

“Yeah. Why?” The little cat meows, rubbing against Even’s ankle.

“Have you even listened to any of her music? Do you really have the right to do that?” He asks. The little smile falls away.

“Fuck off,” Isak says, rolling his eyes.

“Ok but really. Why wasn’t I allowed to bring Zimmerman?” He asks.

“Is that supposed to be a Bob Dylan reference? Can you even do that? Have you listened to any of his music?” Isak asks sarcastically.

“I’m lost,” Eskild says, and Isak sighs.

“Bob Dylan’s real name is Robert Zimmerman,” he says, and Even frowns.

“Yes, he’s named after Bob Dylan,” he says and Isak shifts his weight from foot to foot.

“You should have name it Zimmerfield,” he says after a small hesitation and smiles. “And Joni is special, like I said.”

“Why Zimmerfield?” He asks and Isak's face drops almost imperceptibly. 

“It’s from a show,” he says before he walks off, scooping up the tiny black kitten on his way past. 

“He’s a strange one,” Eskild says and Even nods. “Ah here’s Linn. You should talk,” Eskild says, practically pushing Even in the direction of a redhead wearing a loose sweater over sweatpants. “Have fun!”

\---

Talking with Linn is...interesting. After he gets past his initial small talk discomfort and starts to actually listen to her responses more closely, she is very funny. She’s wickedly sarcastic, and even though it’s clear she would rather be just about anywhere else other than talking with him, he can tell she’s probably fairly nice. 

She doesn’t bring up his feud even once (she probably doesn’t care, he concludes after a few minutes). She talks a bit about songwriting and music production and they compare approaches superficially. 

“You realize what this is actually about, right?” She asks finally and Even shakes his head. The bus is empty except for the two of them.

“No? I thought...we were just talking. Is that not what we’re doing?”

“I’m supposed to consult with you about your medication because obviously as the only person with mental illness in the universe I am best equipped to take care of something that falls outside of any of my duties. Thanks, Eskild.” His heart seems to stop and he makes himself take a deep breath.

“Oh. You know about that?” Even says. Maybe Eskild was able to guess from his prescriptions. Or, maybe Rachel told him. Either way, this wasn’t the plan. “I don’t need to be babysat.”

“I told ‘skild that, but he thought that you would appreciate a head start into making a support network or something like that. So connection made.”

“Can we...keep this between us?” Linn shrugs, standing up, checking her phone quickly.

“Between us,” she says, and winks.

\---

Almost all of the acts are sitting in Bus 1 because “the headliners get the best kitchen. It’s a fact,” or so Jonas says. Despite the crowded environment, Isak and Even have managed to stay distant and polite so far. The conversation has finally turned from food requirements and diets (a topic which had weeded out everyone save Eskild, Noora, Jonas, and Isak who is still sitting curled up in the corner talking to his cat) towards instruments and other types of music composition. 

“I think I’m going to head off to sleep,” Isak says, standing and holding the black fluffball tightly to his chest. “I...I um...I’m going to grab a bunk then,” he says, walking off. It isn’t until he’s pushed out of the room that Even realizes that he’ll need to choose a bunk too. He rushes after Isak, the rest of the group following at a slower pace. 

“Can I have bottom?” Even asks as he enters the alley with the bunks, realizing that every other pair is already taken. Isak turns to face him and frowns.

“No. I need bottom,” he says. Even feels his aggravation starting to grow.

“Why?”

“Joni can’t climb up to the top bunk.” Even sighs heavily. He knows at least once during this tour he’s going to feel like complete shit and he doesn’t want to have to force himself in and out of the top bunk. But, he really doesn’t want to pull the medical card. Plus, it’s embarrassing. He’s almost 20 and he gets obliterated by something as little as a cold.

“Ok so I realize you don’t have any friends and you had to bring a fucking cat to fill that void, but can I please just have the bottom fucking bunk?” Even says harshly, more harshly than he intended, and Isak frowns. 

“Joni is special,” he says quietly and Even crosses his arms. 

“It’s a fucking cat,” he says aggressively and Isak narrows his eyes and opens his mouth to reply. 

“Woah there,” Eskild steps in. “Just let Isak have the bottom bunk. It’s not like we’re going to have much time for sleep anyway.” Even sighs and shrugs, giving up. Let them feel guilty when he falls trying to get out of his bunk and dies. Or pukes on Isak. He doesn’t like it but he doesn’t argue. At least one person will still like him.

“Thanks, ‘skild,” Isak says, smiling again. Even should’ve known better than to think that Eskild favored him over Isak. All these people like Isak and, most likely, hate Even. And it’s his own fault.

“Fine,” Even huffs. “If you wanted to bottom so badly, you should have just told me.” Isak’s face drops.

“Why would you say all of that?” Noora says, pushing past Even towards her own bunk. 

“Say what? It’s just a joke,” Even defends.

“The stuff about his fucking cat dude,” Jonas finally pipes up after a couple seconds of silence. 

“It’s fine,” Isak says quietly.

“Whatever,” Even says, biting back an insult in the interest of keeping the peace, and without another word, he climbs up onto his newly claimed bunk. 

“At least I’m not a pretentious hipster with daddy issues,” Isak shoots back, still standing in the narrow hallway, clutching his tiny black kitten. Even grits his teeth, but doesn’t have a comeback. His throat is feeling tight again, and his mouth feels dry. Daddy issues. He feels tears pressing at the backs of his eyes. He can’t cry though. Not now. Not here.

“Isak,” Eskild says softly, reaching over to put a hand on his shoulder. 

“That’s fucked,” Noora says, and Even feels a small pang of relief.

“What?” Isak snaps. 

“That wasn’t called for,” Jonas says and Isak shrugs.

“Whatever,” he says bitterly before turning and diving into (his) bottom bunk, the small black cat following close behind.

That blow was...low. Daddy issues? Really? Even felt bad enough walking onto a bus full of people who were best friends with Isak, now he was getting jabbed at for his childhood? He went through five years of hell. Isak would never, ever, understand something like that.

He curses himself for thinking Isak could be decent. For feeling bad about his insults. Fuck him.

“That’s not like him,” Eskild tries to reassure, and Even just nods, closing the curtain, not wanting anyone to see his tears.

\---

That night, as they start to drive, he stays in his bunk, even though he hears the girls and Isak sitting out in the lounge area. 

Daddy issues. Maybe Isak didn’t know. No. Everyone knows. At least that’s what it feels like. 

He remembers getting locked in the closet after he threw up when he was 5. He made a mess, and his dad didn’t like it when he made a mess. He remembers sitting in the nurse’s office at school with an ice pack on his neck, the bruises underneath hot and purple-blue, while the woman in her teddy bear scrubs made a quiet phone call. He remembers flying all alone on a plane to Washington, a man in a uniform giving him a little pin that said “junior pilot,” getting off in an unfamiliar place and meeting two women who said they were his new parents.

He remembers being 12 years old, watching a documentary on the music industry with his mom, seeing a man’s face and starting to cry but not knowing why. The founder of a record label. Who he later realized he recognized as...his dad. 

Nobody had known where he’d gone - he was able to avoid time in prison and he’d managed to cover up almost everything about the charges - but now, Even knew. Everyone seemed to know he was a battered kid adopted by a few West coast lesbians, but no one else knew who his father was. Where he came from.

StarMark’s founder, multimillionaire Frederik Waters, is his dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Come On, Set the Tone Tumblr](https://comeonsetthetone-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Isak’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/6gLN1ZtFTX44jsKIDp5p49)!  
> [Even’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/3bPGjf7mBaM8pzz1JeZrnX)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> Send us any questions on the tumblr as well. We sometimes make announcements there too. :)


	5. ISAK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're officially high school graduates!!! :)

Tonight is their first show. Even will go on first, followed by Isak, and finally, the girls. Of course, all the openers will perform their sets beforehand.

Isak is decidedly...nervous. The songs in his set aren’t his own - they’re from his albums, sure, but they’re not really his. He’s done some rehearsal, but he’s struggling with his connection to the crowd. It’s one of the things Even is amazing at, which makes it even more frustrating. He figures when there’s a real crowd he’ll be better at it, but he hasn’t toured since his last album, and even then it wasn’t very long, so this is a...new experience.

When they get to the venue around 11, the crew immediately starts to unload and setup. The balloon boys are practicing harmonies in one of the dressing rooms, and the girls are out getting lunch. Isak is sitting on the bus with Joni, trying not to psych himself out. He’s not sure where Even is. Buying a new pair of shitty sunglasses? Practicing his crappy guitar riffs?

Whatever he’s doing, Isak is just glad he’s not doing it here. 

He wanders around, taking in the scale of the arena until sound check. There are a few fans hanging out in the front listening to them do their run throughs and he smiles at them. One group are all wearing rainbow tie-dyed shirts and hold up a sign with his name every time he passes. It’s going really well. Except...Even rolling his eyes. Except...everything seems too much. There will be so many people. So many people who don’t like him. Even doesn’t. No. He’s fine. It will be fine. 

By the time he’s backstage, listening to Balloon Squad’s set, hearing the faint roaring of the crowd (most of whom haven’t even really arrived yet), his heart is pounding so hard it feels like it might jump from his chest.

Most of the balloon boys have been pretty nice, except for Yousef, who’s been either indifferent or rude, so Isak is assuming he’s the closest with Even. He’s been getting along really well with Mikael though, which is nice because Noora’s started hanging out with Even a lot more. It’s frustrating that his friends feel the need to fuck him over like this. Well, maybe not fuck him over, but Even’s gotten no better in terms of his little insults and jabs, and it’s aggravating that no one seems to notice.

That said, he didn’t realize how shitty what he said to Even was. Noora had pulled him outside and practically tore him a new asshole over it. He’s still not sure exactly why it was such a bad thing to say - Even didn’t actually have a dad, his moms were gay, Isak thought it was alright to point out the fact Even was (probably, most likely) a sperm donor baby. Was it that bad to point out that Even didn’t have a dad? Or that Even was full of himself? Isak doesn’t think so.

Anyway, that’s beside the point, because Elias and Mikael are backstage, each holding one of Even’s hands, dragging him toward the stairwell up to the stage. 

“C’mon, c’mon, I have my own set. I don’t want to steal -” They cut him off.

“You’re not stealing! You’re not stealing! You’re our best friend, c’mon,” Mikael insists, and Even smiles, rolling his eyes.

“Come! You have to! You’re the best at the guitar bit!” Elias practically shouts and Even sighs, giving in, following them up the stairs and onto the stage. The crowd absolutely erupts, and Isak rolls his eyes.

Still, he goes to the edge of the stairs, peeking up onto the stage. Even isn’t even dressed yet, still in his street clothes, but he’s on stage. Asshole.

“This is our friend Even. You might know him. Yeah?” The crowd roars in response to Yousef’s words, and an opening chord plays. “[Even wrote this song with us and we want to sing it with him tonight ](https://open.spotify.com/track/1CAijerspiGnyZHAVsGNL1).” the crowd roars again.

_“Rich white girls. All I’m doing’s wasting my time chasing rich white girls,” Elias sings, and the crowd keeps cheering. “All they do is bitch and they whine. Tell me, what can I give you that your daddy can’t give you, baby, what could I give?”_

The rest of the boys join in for the harmony, and there’s an intricate guitar riff.

Isak likes this song. Scratch that - liked this song. Before he found out Even wrote it. Now it just seems...douchey.

“Dating a man like me is just a change of scenery. Cause you never learned what it’s like to treat someone decently,” Yousef sings.

Eskild runs over, touching Isak’s shoulder.

“Is Even on stage?” He asks, and Isak nods. “Wow. I didn’t think Elias would be able to get him up there.”

“You knew about this?” Isak asks, and Eskild nods while the song keeps playing.

“Yeah, the boys asked last night but wanted to keep it a surprise for Even. I didn’t think it would work out, but it’s nice.” Isak frowns.

“I guess.”

\---

“What are you doing here?” Isak asks, and Even looks up from his notebook, narrowing his eyes.

“Is this not my bus?” Isak shifts from foot to foot and Joni purrs softly in his arms. He feels the anxiety starting to build in his chest.

“Yeah, but...everyone’s out. Having fun,” he says, and Even laughs.

“You’re here, aren’t you?” he asks, and Isak nods. “So?”

“I don’t like parties. Plus, I can’t drink.”

“Well neither can I, so I guess we’re in the same boat.” When Isak doesn’t move Even raises his eyebrows. “Have an issue? Or are you just gonna stand there?”

“I can sit here, right?” Isak asks, gesturing to a seat, and Even shrugs, looking back down at his notebook. So, he sits down on the couch across from Even, letting Joni curl up in his lap. 

“Meow,” Joni says.

“Yeah, me too,” he replies and Even lets out a little laugh. “Have something to say?” He snaps, looking up. Even meets his gaze.

“Having fun over there?” He asks with a smirk. Isak sighs, trying to focus on the steady rise and fall of Joni’s breath. She kneads his sweater with her front paws. He feels Even’s eyes on him.

A few minutes pass without any words between them, and eventually, Even stands, starting to walk back toward the bunks. Thank God. Maybe now Isak can relax.

But, no, apparently not, because he comes back only a few moments later with a ¾ acoustic, and flips to a heavily scribbled on page from his notebook. Immediately, he starts to place his fingers, launching into a riff. Isak is almost...stunned by the effortless look. It’s as if his fingers float over the strings, knowing where to land. It’s mesmerizing to watch. 

He repeats a three note sequence a few times, each faster than the last, then starts from the beginning, closing his eyes. It’s flawless, but he opens his eyes and frowns, picking up his pencil, scratching something out on the paper. He starts from the beginning, and somehow, everything sounds different. 

Isak has to remind himself he doesn’t like Even. He hates Even. This is annoying, not pretty. His music is shitty, not...lovely.

Even starts from the beginning again, finally going at what seems to be full speed. Again, Isak has to snap himself out of the half-daze the music puts him in.

“You going to do that all night?” He asks, and Even looks up, his fingers dropping from the neck of the guitar. He raises his eyebrows.

“Would that irritate you?” He asks a smirk still playing on his lips.

“You don’t irritate me. Nothing irritates me,” Isak says, setting his jaw. Even gives a sly little smile.

“Right.”

\---

The next night, in some town on the border between Canada and New York, everyone, once again, decides to go out after the show. Except for Isak. And Even. Who are now, once again, stuck together on an empty bus.

Even is in his pajamas - which consist of too large flannel pants and a heavy sweatshirt with a logo Isak doesn’t recognize - fumbling with something in the tiny kitchen area. Isak’s on the couch, Joni sitting next to him, his laptop open. He’s looking through the recordings of all his tracks for the old album. Maybe he’ll get Noora to play one with him sometime during tour when they’re moving from city to city. 

Suddenly, Joni, without any warning, gets up and jumps down onto the faux-wood floor, padding softly over to Even, rubbing her head against his leg. He looks down, and Isak’s nervous for a moment that Even’s going to be rude but he lets out a little laugh - Isak’s never heard that laugh before - and bends down, starting to scratch her behind the ear.

“Hey,” he says, and Joni purrs. He laughs again and picks her up, setting her on the kitchen counter. She immediately starts to rub against his arm, and he starts to pet her. She keeps purring, and he laughs. Again. Maybe it’s stupid, but Isak almost feels jealous.

“Joni,” he says, and she jumps down off the counter, coming back to his lap. Even turns around.

“What? I can’t pet your cat?” he asks, and Isak shrugs. 

“She’s mine, so…” Even scoffs.

“Alright.” He turns on the faucet, filling up the chipped tea kettle, setting it on the tiny, two burner stove. Funny. Even doesn’t seem like a tea person.

“Not practicing your terrible riffs?” Isak asks after a moment of gathering his courage. Even raises his eyebrows. He has his black notebook out again, he’s scribbling down something - probably more crappy tabs.

“Not blow-drying your pretty blonde hair?”

“Not making shitty social media posts?” Isak snaps back, and Even sits down on the couch across from him. They sit in silence for a while, Isak pretending to be focused on his laptop, but every so often stealing glances at the boy across from him. He doesn’t even know why - it’s stupid, isn’t it? 

The kettle squeals and Even unfolds his lanky legs and stands to turn it off. For a couple of minutes, the only sounds are the soft clicking of Even making tea and the soft hum of Joni’s breath. 

“Do you have any extra water?” Isak asks, pulling Joni in closer to his chest. 

Even turns and looks directly into his eyes, pouring the rest of the water down the drain. He sets down the empty pot.

“No, sorry,” he says, walking over with his full mug and sitting back down. Isak doesn’t know why this hurts as much as it does. It’s what he expected. But Even had been so nice to Joni. Maybe he’d raised his expectations too much?

“Isn’t tea a little bit...old ladyish? For a rockstar?” Isak asks and Even takes a swig. 

“My voice isn’t shit though, now is it?” Even asks. Isak shrugs. 

“Debateable.” Isak loves tea. Why is he saying it’s old ladyish? It’s not. Maybe he just wants to find any way he can to jab at Even, and it’s making him crazy.

The door swings open, and Eskild walks in, setting down his bag on one of the empty seats. When he sees Even, he claps his hands.

“We’re getting along! That’s great!” Eskild says, and Even’s eyebrows pull together slightly. He takes another sip from his mug, flipping to a new page in his notebook.

“What?” Even asks, and Eskild frowns.  
“Isak made you some tea,” he says, and Even smirks.

“No, I made it myself.”

“Oh, so Isak’s already finished his? Or have you not had it yet?” Eskild asks, and Isak feels himself starting to blush.

“I don’t always have tea,” he says, still feeling Even’s eyes on him.

“Yes, you do. Always. Of course you do,” Eskild says. Even stifles a laugh.

“Eskild-” Isak starts. 

“You always have tea. You said ‘Eskild. I need my tea. My tea and Joni. Those are the only two things I like. I need tea.’ You always have tea.”

“I don’t think I said that,” he says, even though he knows it’s a weak defense.

“I specifically remember because you worded it so weirdly and you left me out of your list of things and people you liked. I was very hurt,” Eskild says, and Isak takes a deep breath.

“Meow,” Joni says. 

“That’s right. He is being mean,” Isak replies quickly. 

“I’m not being mean! I’m commenting. I’m observing. That’s my job. My job as king of the tour. Just kidding. Tour czar. Just kidding. Co-tour manager. With Linn.” He flashes a quick smile. 

“If you wanted tea so badly you should have just asked me to make you some,” Even says, smiling slightly.

“Is Isak not asking for things again? Isak. We’ve been over this. You can talk to other people on the tour bus.”

“I’m not...I don’t...you know what. Fuck this,” Isak gives up after a couple of seconds.

“Someone’s in a mood today, hmm? Grumpy,” Eskild says, ruffling his hair on his way through to the bunks, and Isak takes a deep breath. It shudders as he lets it out. 

“You can talk to me anytime,” Even says sarcastically, whispering, exaggerating the words.

“Please stop. I need...just stop for a bit,” Isak says shakily, standing up with Joni clinging to his shoulder.

And strangely, Even does.

\---

The next day, they have little to do until the show. Isak has already explored everything in the arena he cares to too many times. He’s helped out with the guitars. He’s helped with the mics. He’s even tried to work with the lighting crew (which was great until he almost electrocuted himself and was benched). Now he’s in one of the sparse dressing rooms trying to find something moderately interesting on his phone. (More like trying to ignore the 100s of texts. Trying to ignore the rolling in his stomach when he sees one from Jonathan.)

He’s curled up in the corner scrolling through Instagram (ignoring how many comments are cruel) when Noora comes in with her guitar slung over her back. 

“I have something and it might be shit but I don’t know and that’s where you come in,” Noora says matter-of-factly, sitting down in the chair across from him, not offering anything in the way of introduction.

“I’m sure it’s not shit,” Isak says reassuringly. 

“You haven’t heard yet,” she says before [beginning to play ](https://open.spotify.com/track/2epP7JoDAYLywIRs69HBDL). 

_“In the middle of the night, clutching papers oh so tight, you can see now just what it feels like,”_ she starts, and as she keeps going Isak can’t stop himself from smiling. It’s different from her normal stuff, which is a lot more...romantic.

“That was great!” Isak says as she finishes.

“Really? You think so?” Noora asks, her face breaking into a smile.

“Yeah. Really. No lie. Who’s it for?” He asks. Her smile drops slightly. 

“Ummm...well...me actually?” She says.

“Wow. That was amazing,” Isak says, surprised. Noora is always writing for other people, never herself - she never allows herself that privilege.

“I don’t know. Will said he thought it wasn’t that good?” So that’s the real reason she’s so nervous.

“Respectfully...Fuck William,” Isak says and Noora rolls her eyes, sighing softly. She plays with one of her guitar picks.

“You can’t say that. He only wants the best for me.”

“You wrote that apologist song for him. You know. _Issues_?” She sighs again.

“That wasn’t apologist.”

“Really? ‘You get mad and you break things, feel bad try to fix things, but you’re perfect.’”

“Fine. Maybe a little.”

“It’s not healthy.”

“When you get a boyfriend you’ll understand. I love him. I don’t want to change him.” She tucks some of her hair behind her ear.

“I’m not saying you should change him. I’m saying you should dump him,” Isak says. Noora levels him with a glare. “Fine. Fine. Maybe just don’t listen to him about this song? I think it’s great.” 

“Thanks, Isak.” She gives him a little smile, and though he knows she won’t follow his advice, he feels like he might’ve made a little bit of a difference. “Speaking of songs...do you want to play one of yours?” She asks her face lighting up with a smile.

“Not really. I just...I’ll play them enough on tour.” She shakes his shoulder.

“No...I mean _your_ songs. You know…” She says, raising her eyebrows, and Isak frowns slightly. 

“I feel like it’s just going to make me sad,” he says. 

“Aren’t you sad anyway?” She asks. 

“Rude. But true. Fine. If it will make you happy,” he says and she plays a chord on her guitar.

“It will,” Noora says. They start playing [his song](https://open.spotify.com/track/7vMVd2dzfdpjbyvoSC8zrl). She sings harmony and plays the guitar while Isak sings the melody line and drums on the floor. 

_”Grab your coat and don’t forget my guitar, as soon as I find the keys to my car, we can drive until the sun becomes stars. Just you and I into the dark.”_ Isak had written this song about his first crush. As they keep singing, he gets more into it, letting himself get louder. _“And you need to know that whatever brings you down, it’s not worth your time. Ohh, forget it all. And just forget it all.”_

“A bit of a cliched song, isn’t it?” Even’s voice asks, and Isak whips around, feeling his face flush. Even the tips of his ears are burning. Noora’s stopped playing.

“How long have you been standing there?” He asks. 

“Long enough,” Even says. 

“Long enough for what?” Isak asks and Even smirks. 

“Long enough to know that the song sounds cliche,” he says pushing off the wall. “I’m heading out, Noora. Would you like to join me?” He asks and Noora nods. 

“Where are you going?” Isak asks.

“The record store downtown,” she responds. “You wouldn’t like it. And his song isn’t cliche, Even,” she says in a teasing voice, and Even smiles.

“How do you know I wouldn’t like it?” He asks, affronted. Noora zips her guitar bag, slinging it back over her shoulder.

“Come on. It’s not for kids, Isak,” she says, ruffling his hair.

“What?” Isak asks flatly. 

“I’m just teasing. Lighten up,” she says. “Look, you can mess around with my guitar. Remember what Jonathan wanted you to do,” she says, putting down the bag, leaving the room with a little wave. 

“Who’s Jonathan?” He hears Even ask as their voices start to fade as they head down the hallway. 

“Our boss. Isak’s his favorite,” Noora replies and for a second Isak thinks he’ll throw up.

\---

The show goes even more smoothly than the night before. Tonight, however, the girls decide to have a less alcoholic night, so Isak joins them in a restaurant. Eventually, the conversation turns to tour gossip, specifically Isak and Even’s feud. More specifically, the much hated “daddy issues” comment.

“Big reaction for a sperm donor baby,” Isak remarks, and Eva frowns.

“He was adopted, I thought,” she says, and Vilde nods.

“That’s what I heard.” She takes a sip of her bright pink drink.

“Ok, fine, teen pregnancy side effect,” Isak amends, and Noora shakes her head.

“He was abused by his dad. They found out when he was 5 and he got shipped off. Apparently, the guy got acquitted. Really rich,” she says. Eva looks concerned, leaning forward on her elbows.

“Really? Where did you hear that?”

“Rumor. Pretty sure it’s true though. You know, right Sana?” Sana nods, stirring her own drink. It’s something with an absurd amount of lemon.

“Yeah. I heard that. Shitty insult, Isak. The first night? Savage.” Isak feels like he can’t catch his breath.

“I didn’t know that. I...never would’ve said that. Fuck.” That explains why Noora was so upset. Christ.

“He was pretty torn up. I think we managed to convince him you weren’t that much of a raging dick and he probably won’t slit your throat,” Eva says with a straight face. She takes the straw of Vilde’s milkshake, taking a sip.

“There’s a chance he might,” Sana says with a smirk and Isak rolls his eyes. 

“I live in fear of the day when he puts his guitar down for long enough to do that...or maybe anticipation. If I have to hear one more of those shitty fucking riffs I’ll die,” he says, trying to distract himself with all the things he hates about Even. He can’t bear to think about...Even’s past. The disgusting thing he said. Fuck, Even must feel awful. 

“I think they’re cool,” Eva argues.

“I think they’re dreamy. You should learn those,” Vilde says, booping Eva on the nose. Eva laughs, tucking some of Vilde’s hair behind her ear.

“Anything for you,” she says, smiling. 

“You two. Awwweee,” Chris coos from across the table. Sana smiles. 

“Everything about him drives me crazy,” Isak says, though his thoughts are still wrapped around this new information. There's a sick feeling in his stomach, like he might cry. 

“Oh really? Do tell,” says Eva and Isak rolls his eyes at the innuendo in her voice. 

“I don’t know. Just the way he brushes his hair. It isn’t Grease. He isn’t like...fucking...Elvis, or something. This isn’t the 1950s,” he says, letting himself get lost in his seemingly endless thoughts about Even, and Sana shrugs. 

“I think it fits with his aesthetic,” Noora says and Isak sighs. 

“Don’t get me started. His Instagram is so pretentious it makes me want to throw up,” Isak says. “His bravado and fronting make me sick. He’s so insecure that he has to put up that much of a show-” Noora cuts him off, looking somewhat disappointed. The guilt rushes back, filling the space the anger took up in his chest. He has to apologize. Fuck, would Even even believe him?

“You’re one to talk,” she says and Isak sighs. 

“Point...but I’m not nearly that bad,” Isak protests. 

“Ok, little man,” she says and he pushes her shoulder. “I think you should give him a chance. You’d like each other!”

“Shut up. I’m just as old as you,” he argues.

“Keep telling yourself that. We can all drink,” Chris says.

“And you can not. 21 and over, bitches,” Sana finishes, hi-fiving Chris.

“Someone’s grumpy,” Vilde says, and Isak huffs, pushing around his leftover french fries.

“My complaints are valid,” he mumbles.

“Well you sure do think about him a lot,” Chris says, giving Noora a look.

“No. Nope. That is not what this is. I don’t...think about him. Now that you asked me about what I dislike I...remember things. I’m not - I don’t - just...ew. No,” he protests, but Noora raises her eyebrows, a smile on the corner of her lips.  
\---

When Isak walks back to the bus from dinner, Even is sitting outside on the tarmac in a folding chair, once again practicing on his small black acoustic. As he gets closer, he can hear the familiar pattern, but this time, it’s broken in the same place. Over and over. 

He gets ¾ through the riff before his fingers catch and he has to start over. Before Isak gets very close the music stops and he hears Eskild’s voice. The parking lot is so quiet the conversation carries.

“How are you?” Eskild asks.

“Ok,” Even says. Isak stops walking.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“How are things with Isak?” There’s a long pause.

“It’s...tough. I feel like I have to come up with stuff to say to him that will match his...level of hatred, if that makes sense? I know it’s my fault, but it feels like...everyone hates me.”

“That’s not true. Linn and I like you! Noora likes you. You’re a tall beautiful angel with lovely hair and I like you a lot. Ok?” Even laughs.

“Yeah. Ok.” They hug, which makes Isak want to scream. Even walks onto the bus, and Isak starts an awkward half jog toward Eskild.

What the fuck? What the fuck is Eskild doing?

“Eskild,” he says, and the older man turns, giving a small wave. “What were you doing?”

“What do you mean?” he asks, looking genuinely confused. Isak lowers his voice.

“Being so nice to Even. Why were you doing that?” It’s hard to keep the anger out of his voice. Eskild frowns.

“You’re not the only one on this tour, you realize,” Eskild says, and Isak scoffs.

“I know that.”

“So?” When Isak doesn’t reply, Eskild sighs, rolling his eyes. “So, Even has his medical issues, and -” Isak frowns.

“What?” Even doesn’t have any medical issues. As far as Isak knows. 

“His medical issues. His immune system, you know?” When Isak clearly isn’t understanding Eskild looks almost surprised. “You didn’t know?”

“No, of course not. Why would I know that?”

“It’s not a secret. He talked about it in his interview. For Hazard. You read it, I thought.”

“I skimmed.” Eskild sighs. “Ok, I read the pull quotes.”

“Well, he’s not feeling well so I was just doing my job. You know? My job. That thing I’m paid to do.” Isak looks down at his feet.

“Sorry.”

“Be nice to Even tonight please. His stomach hurts so don’t be mad if he’s in and out of the bunk.”

“Fine,” Isak says, pushing past Eskild to walk up the stairs into the bus, stopping cold when he sees Even. Noora is frowning, touching first his forehead then his cheek. He seems nervous. Embarrassed? 

“I’m telling you, everything’s fine. I’m fine,” he says, and Noora makes a face but doesn’t contradict him. 

“Hey,” Isak says, and they both turn to look at him. Even’s pale apart from two bright spots of color on his cheeks, and Isak can’t believe he didn’t notice earlier how terrible Even looked. His hair is a mess, and his hands are trembling. Isak has no idea how he got through the show.

“Hey,” Noora says, and Even swallows hard. There’s an awkward pause.

“So, I’m gonna sleep out here. On the couch,” Even says, and Noora crosses her arms.

“No. Don’t do that. Why would you do that?” She asks, and he shifts his weight, rubbing his eyes.

“I figure it’ll be easier on everybody if I’m not jumping up and down constantly.”

“The couch isn’t comfortable though,” Isak says, frowning slightly.

“I’ll be fine,” Even says shortly. Noora rolls her eyes and shoots Isak a significant look. He isn’t really sure what it means, but he knows she’s expecting him to do something. 

“Ummm…” he says, puzzled for a second before catching on. She wants him to be...nice. “You can...take my bunk? Tonight?” He almost asks, surprising himself. “It’s on the bottom, so you won’t be uh...making a racket.” Even’s face had started off guarded but as Isak had continued talking, his expression softened. 

“Uh, ok. Uh...yeah,” he says, and gives the smallest smile. It disappears as quickly as it came.

“Ummm…cool.” Isak notices Joni rubbing against the older boy’s leg and for a second he wonders if Joni would make him feel better, just like she does for Isak. Sometimes it almost seems like she’s magic - Isak always feels better when she’s around.

\---

Isak wakes up sometime around 2 AM to the gentle rocking of the bus and the sound of someone retching in the bathroom. He lies there for a moment, trying to convince himself it isn’t terrible to ignore it. But, the guilt - or maybe curiosity? - gets the better of him, and he fumbles his way down from the top bunk, landing more heavily than he intended. 

He walks carefully to the open door of the bathroom, and the light spills out slightly into the hall. The tall boy is kneeling on the faux-tile, seeming to have just finished throwing up.

“Even?” he asks quietly, and the boy just lets out a heavy sigh. His head is resting on the rim of the toilet, and he’s dressed in nothing but his boxers, which Isak has to admit is...something. He didn’t realize how many muscles were in someone’s shoulders. “You ok?”

“Yeah. Fine,” he whispers, the words barely audible. Isak knows he should do something, but he doesn’t know what. So he stands in the hall, watching Even’s chest rise and fall. He turns his head wearily. “Enjoying the view?”

“No, I just was…” Isak stops himself. “I don’t know.” Even rubs his eyes. 

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about it,” he says, his voice clipped. “Go back to sleep.”

“Do you want...help?”

“No.”

“Want me to get anything?”

“No. Please, Isak. Leave me alone,” he practically chokes. He’s so vulnerable it’s making Isak uncomfortable. 

“Cat time?” He offers before he can give it a second thought.

“What?” He asks, sounding completely stunned.

“Time with Joni?” Isak asks again. Even turns around and Isak can tell he’s miserable, even through the hard facade he’s putting up. Isak can tell it’s taking him a lot of energy to appear even somewhat put together, and even so, he looks awful. 

“You’d...let me pet your cat? Are you fucking serious?” He asks back.

“Five minutes. On my...your bunk?”

“Yeah...Just...give me a minute,” he mumbles, but by the time Isak comes back with Joni in his arms, Even is already asleep on the tiny bathroom floor. So, Isak sets the little cat down, letting her curl up against Even’s chest, and climbs back into his own bunk.

\---

“Isak?” He looks up sharply. “Behind you, sorry,” Mikael says carefully walking around to join Isak sitting on the side of the stage. 

“Hey, what’s up?” Isak asks. Mikael seems...nervous.

“I...I have some questions for you. Would you...do you have the time?” He asks tentatively. 

“Sure, I guess,” Isak says, closing his laptop. “What do you need?” 

“I was just wondering...is this too invasive? I’m sorry. I’ll just…” Mikael starts to scoot away. 

“No. Are you ok?” Isak reaches out an arm to stop him. Mikael freezes when Isak’s hand catches his shoulder. 

“Uhhh...mostly? I don’t know,” he replies, relaxing back to the stage.

“Can I help?” Isak asks slowly.

“I mean...I know that you must have some tips. I don’t know.” Mikael seems so anxious about his response that Isak is almost as worried to find out what Mikael wants to know. 

“Ok,” Isak forces out quickly. 

“So...before you were out,” Mikael starts and Isak’s stomach drops. “How did you...I don’t know. Deal with it? Survive? I just thought-” Isak cuts him off.

“I was really unhappy. I was out to my friends after a while and that made it easier, but StarMark isn’t the best place to work if you want to be,” Isak pauses (“happy” he thinks, but he won’t say that). “Out all the time,” he finishes. 

“I just...I’ve been out since I was a kid and suddenly I’m not gay? I’m not allowed to say anything and they have full control over everything I do. I just…” Mikael stops and sighs. “It’s not like they said I couldn’t...be myself, but they’re writing these songs about girls and ladies and taking pictures of me with models and...I don’t know.”

“I know...you...you have all of us. I know it’s not the same as being able to do what you want without thinking about it, but we’ll be here.” Isak tentatively opens his arms, offering a hug. Mikael practically throws himself into them. Isak laughs when they tumble over and they have to quickly adjust to not fall off the stage. 

“Thank you, Isak,” he finishes, and Isak gives him a big smile.

“No problem.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Come On, Set the Tone Tumblr](https://comeonsetthetone-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Isak’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/6gLN1ZtFTX44jsKIDp5p49)!  
> [Even’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/3bPGjf7mBaM8pzz1JeZrnX)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> Send us any questions on the tumblr as well. We sometimes make announcements there too. :)


	6. EVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're posting early for you:) (Also I actually like One Direction but can totally admit that their early work is high key cheesy:)) -Chloë
> 
> There will be a mid week update this week! :)

Even is completely focused on warming up. His sound check is going well and he is absolutely not distracted by the commotion on the side of the stage. Not really commotion. More like love fest. Mikael had pushed past him with only a nod on his way over to Isak. Even had only been playing for a few minutes but already they seemed to be having a great time.

He hears a thump followed by hysterical laughter and looks over. Isak and Mikael are cuddling on the floor. Isak smiles at Mikael and it’s like he’s Isak’s entire world. It feels private and almost invasive to watch. No one looks at Even like that. 

The guitar squeals and the sound manager speaks into the mic, snapping him out of his semi-trance.

“Standby,” the manager says, and after a few moments, leans into his mic again. “Alright let’s hear something.” 

He picks one of his more complicated (memorized) riffs, hoping it’ll focus him back on the task at hand. G-string, 9th fret. 7th. D string, 9th fret, slide to 7th. A string. 9th, 8th, 7th, 5th. Hammer on the high E, 7th fret. That’s one beat. He should do at least 4.

“We’ve got it,” the sound manager says, and Even stops, his carefully crafted focus falling away. Now, all he can hear is the laughter 20 feet to his left. 

\---

Even can always write. Even when everything sounds like shit the next day when he tries to work it out, he can always work through it when he’s putting the pen to paper. He hasn’t had writer's block in...well ever, maybe? It’s not quite writer's block but more like writer’s ‘everything sounds sappy and awful and if someone were to try to get him to play it in front of people he might try to punch them’. 

It’s really a problem. 

Every time he puts his mind to it (fingers to the strings, pen to the page, pedal to the metal, etc.), he just gets...not him. [He tries again ](https://open.spotify.com/track/43YmrqWkOIHi0LDTdcn8rL). 

_Take me out into the day and let me find  
My piece of mind_

Fuck. Still not...right. He keeps going. He can fill in the rest later. 

_But I knew that I was home when I looked into your eyes_

“Fuck!” He exclaims loudly. He hears footsteps and a blonde head pokes into the room he was working in.

“What is it?” Noora asks concerned. “Are you ok?” 

“Yeah...uh, just...writer’s block,” Even quickly explains. 

“Maybe I can take a listen?” She suggests. Even thinks for a second and nods. Working with a songwriter like Noora is pretty much any artist’s dream. If she can make the stuff that Isak plays somewhat listenable, she can probably fix the drivel he’s writing. 

He quickly plays through the chord progressions and the pieces of lyrics he’s written up so far. When he’s done, Noora claps slowly. 

“What?” He asks, noticing the thoughtful look on her face.

“It just...that doesn’t really seem like writer’s block to me? Did you just write this entire thing?” She picks up his notebook, squinting at his chicken scratch handwriting.

“Yeah. It’s shit though.”

“It’s not shit. It’s not your normal stuff but it’s definitely not shit.” She keeps looking at the page. She smiles. “‘You're my pretty boy with a dirty mouth.’ You scratched that out. I like that.” She hands the book back. “Who’s it about?”

“I...I’m not sure. Maybe my sister? At least the feeling at home part? My family? I’m not really that comfortable with it. It seems silly.”

“Sounds like...you’re falling in love with someone and you’re afraid to hurt them. _You’ve seen my best turn my worst_? _I’m scared you’ll leave me_? Then it sounds like you originally had a bunch of romantic stuff but you crossed it out.”

“That doesn’t make sense. I'm not a romantic.”

\----

Every time he takes a sip of tea, he feels a twist in his stomach. He’s feeling far better from earlier in the week (no more fever, no more aches), but he’s still suffering. At least he’s keeping enough down to stay upright. He was worried for a while he’d start getting dehydrated if the severity of everything (i.e. his vomiting) kept up, but luckily his shot yesterday took care of some of it.

Half the battle is just trying to maintain an appearance of health despite his intense need to sleep and/or pass out. He hates when people see him that way. Weak, or...vulnerable. He doesn’t know exactly why he hates it so much, but he’d rather die than have someone think he’s a fragile person. It’s stupid, maybe, but it’s just...how he is.

So, he’s been trying to seem at least somewhat healthy. It’s a slippery slope, but the alternative is...unthinkable. Missing shows? People feeling sorry for him? No. Not happening.

So, he’s drinking as much tea as he can, hoping that it will somehow make the difference. It’s unlikely, but who knows?

He’s not sure if it was fever dream or not, but he has an odd memory of Isak in the middle of the night, asking him if he was alright. He remembers wanting so badly to say no, to have someone - anyone - help him, even Isak. It was odd - Isak seemed to genuinely...care, which didn’t make sense. No matter what he does he can’t seem to shake that memory. Real or not, it feels good. Deep in his chest, it feels good.

\---

“Ok, so, this is new stuff. It's a little…” Elias trails off.

“Ok, so, this is new stuff. It's a little…” Elias trails off.

[“It's a work in progress,”](https://open.spotify.com/track/0eEAEX0VEC68pXQ1PeNzKX) Mutta says, and Even nods, slipping on the headphones. The instrumental starts and immediately, Even can tell the boys aren't playing. That's ok. They don't have to know - the label has people for that.

_You know I've always got your back, girl, so let me be the one_  
you come running to, running to, r-r-running  
I see it’s just a matter of fact, girl, you just call my name  
I'll be coming through, coming through, I'll keep coming 

Even frowns. Who could this be about? It's not their usual style of lyric.

When it comes to the chorus there's a slight drop and Even slips off the headphones. The boys sit there, looking anxious. Even takes a deep breath.

“Be honest. No bullshit. We can take it,” Yousef says, and Even raises his eyebrows. “100% serious.”

“Hate it.” 

“What? Why?!” Elias practically shouts, and the whole group starts to argue among themselves. Even waves a hand.

“Number one, it sounds nothing like your other stuff. At all. Number two, it's really obvious you didn't write these lyrics. They're basic as hell.”

“So what if we didn't write it?” Elias snaps, and Yousef rests a hand on his chest.

“We’re just trying it out,” Yousef says. Mikael looks like he's been slapped. Even feels a pang of guilt.

“You told me to be honest. That's my honesty.”

Elias and Yousef share a look.

\----

Even has never seen faster friends than Isak and Mikael. Since that sound check on the stage, he’s started to see them everywhere. He’s not quite sure how he feels about it. Jealous, maybe? It really feels like jealousy, but that can’t be it, can it?

They can do what they want, why should Even be jealous? Regardless, it’s how he feels.

At lunch, they eat together at a separate booth in the rest stop. Mikael rides the bus with them to the venue instead of his own. They tell jokes, they sit closer than they need to, they play card games with the BL!SS girls. 

Maybe he’s just noticing it more now. He can’t seem to get Isak out of his head. Since he heard him playing the other day, he can’t get him out of his head. He’d quipped that the song was cliche, though he wasn’t really sure why. He loved it. He just...didn’t want to give Isak the satisfaction.

He’d asked Noora later if she’d written it, but she said Isak had written all his new records by himself. Now he has to admit he’d like to hear the rest, but he’ll probably keep that to himself.

\---

“What’s the deal with Isak and Mikael?” He asks, taking a sip from the small - yet still oversized - McDonald’s cup of ice water. His stomach is acting up but he’s trying to ignore it. They’ve stopped for lunch at a deserted rest stop, and after taking a few pictures with fans, they bought a mountain of fast food. Yousef is sitting across from him, and for the first time in a few days Even actually feels at ease. He seems to be the one taking Even’s critique the easiest.

“Don’t know. I’m a little…” Yousef sighs, taking a bite of his burger. “Worried. I don’t want Mikael getting into a bad situation, you know?” Even shakes his head. “Like...falling in love with him, or something. Mikael isn’t used to...guys like Isak.”

Yousef has a point. Mikael is romantic to a fault and he’s never been in a relationship before - someone like Isak, with a million fans and no tethers and that obnoxious pop-star attitude, could tear him apart. Maybe it’s not Even’s place to judge - hell, he’s not even sure they’re in a relationship (the thought makes something twist up tight in his chest that he can’t quite identify). Still, despite the soft tension between Even and Balloon Squad at the moment, they’re still his best friends. He’d do anything - anything - for any of them. To keep them from getting hurt.

“You think Isak’s...a player?” Even’s not sure why the thought bothers him so much. 

“Not necessarily, just that I don’t know. I don’t know the guy. And Mikael deserves someone really good, you know?”

Even looks over at them - Isak is touching Mikael’s arm, they’re both laughing. He feels his jaw tighten.

“I don’t think they’d be good together,” he finally says and Yousef nods slightly.

“I’ll ask him later what the deal is.” Even turns back to face him, but Yousef’s eyes are locked on the girl’s table. He bites the corner of his lip.

“Something you’d like to share?” Even asks, and Yousef seems mildly surprised. He shrugs, pushing some of his hair out of his face.

“Just one of the girls.” Even smiles.

“Yeah?” Even raises his eyebrows, laughing. He shakes Yousef’s shoulder, who just rolls his eyes, breaking into a smile.

“Relax, relax. I just think she’s cute. I...I don’t know if she’s got a guy or…she could be gay, I don’t know shit,” he says, his eyes drifting back to focus on the girls’ table again. Sana laughs, a smile lighting up her face, and a smile tugs at the corner of Yousef’s lips too.

“Well, whatever happens, I’m always available. If you ever wanna swing this way.” Yousef laughs, tipping his head back.

“Fuck! Relax, pan boy.”

“I’m a predatory gay. You know that.”

“I know. That’s why I love you.”

“I’m touched.”

\---

Even can’t help feeling second-hand embarrassment listening to Isak’s set. His new guitar, the one that he’d been so excited about during sound check, kept having issues with the pickup, and in two songs he’d fallen completely off the beat. It didn’t help that crowd was practically dead - even Even had noticed that they made minimal to no sound.

Isak is shaking when he gets off the stage, visibly pale, and his big blue-green eyes dart around - almost frantic - but there’s no one in the corridor but Even. He makes a beeline for the exit out into the back alley where the buses are parked. For a reason he can’t quite identify, Even follows him. Fuck it. His own set is over. Why not?

He gets out just in time to see the door to their bus swing shut, and he follows close behind. The bus is empty except for the two of them now, and Isak is sitting in the corner, wiping his eyes with the heel of his palm. Joni is in his lap, nuzzling his chest. He pets her shakily and she moves against his hand.

“Isak,” Even finally says, and the younger boy’s head snaps up. He looks panicked. Joni keeps nuzzling him.

“Here to make fun of me?” he asks, voice bordering on weak.

“No. Of course not.”

“I just...I can’t...I can’t do this,” Isak says before gently lifting Joni off of his lap and exiting the bus again. When Even finds him, he’s wiping his mouth with his wrist, leaning over the trash bin outside of their door. 

“Christ,” Even mutters, but he still moves over to awkwardly pat Isak’s back. He jerks away.

“Please stop,” he manages and Even steps away, lifting his hands in surrender. 

“Got it...ummm...I’ll get you some water,” he says and Isak nods and sits on the steps of the bus. Even quickly returns with the water and Isak grabs it, taking a small sip. They sit in silence for a while. 

“Better?” Even asks and Isak nods for a second before a strange look passes over his face. 

“I can’t breathe?” Isak says almost surprised. “I can’t breathe,” He says again more intently. 

“You’re having a panic attack,” Even says calmly. He knows how to deal with these. He’s not expecting to be leveled with a withering glare.

“No fucking,” Isak pauses, breathing heavily, “shit, asshole,” he finishes quickly. 

“Look, I just wanna help.”

“Why?” Isak snaps, and Even doesn’t have an answer. 

“Payback?” He says after a few moments. If he were having a panic attack he probably wouldn’t want Isak of all people do bear witness to it, but Isak did (probably, Even still isn’t sure whether it was a dream) see him curled on the bathroom floor, too sick to move. It only seems decent to treat him with that same reserved level of respect, even if only for an hour or so. Then, Even tells himself, he can go back to hating him. 

Carefully, he touches Isak’s back, and this time, Isak doesn’t flinch away.

\----

“That never happened,” Even says as soon as they’re seated back on the bus, both clutching mugs of tea. Even made it once he’d gotten Isak calmed down and settled on the couch with Joni and a blanket.

“Yep,” Isak says, still pink with embarrassment from needing help.

“No one will know,” Even says. Isak nods.

“Nope. What happens in the bus lot stays in the bus lot.” Isak pets Joni carefully, visibly relaxing. “And the bus bathroom.” So it was real. 

“That was awful,” Even says shaking his head. Isak nods. They sit together in silence for a bit. 

“Look...I’m sorry about the thing I said when we were moving in,” Isak starts. “About your dad, I-”

“Nope. ” Even says, shaking his head, and Isak looks panicked for a moment. “It’s fine.”

“I didn’t know. I never would’ve said that if I didn’t know.”

“ It’s fine.”

“Ok… are you sure?”

“Yeah...I still hate you though,” Even says, but it lacks any bite and he has trouble not smiling at Isak’s grumpy face.

“Mutual.”

Enough has been said.

\---

As soon as the concert officially ends, everyone piles into the bus and surrounds Isak. Even rolls his eyes when he sees Mikael push through the crowd almost as quickly as Eva and Eskild. 

Even pushes past all of them, climbing into his bunk with a water bottle and an extra blanket. He’ll try to sleep until they start driving, then maybe he’ll get up and hang with Noora. Those plans are derailed when he hears a soft mew. 

“Joni?” He asks before shaking his head. He’s turning into Isak, always talking to that cat. Why isn’t she out with her owner? She’s never far from him. “How did you get up here?” She meows and he shakes his head again. “That was a rhetorical question...but you wouldn’t know that because you’re just a baby. A baby cat, even.” She rubs her head against his hand and he smiles. He already feels his head starting to ache. Maybe he’ll just take a bit of a nap with the cat. It can’t hurt, can it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Come On, Set the Tone Tumblr](https://comeonsetthetone-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Isak’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/6gLN1ZtFTX44jsKIDp5p49)!  
> [Even’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/3bPGjf7mBaM8pzz1JeZrnX)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> Send us any questions on the tumblr as well. We sometimes make announcements there too. :)


	7. ISAK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I keep trying to get them to watch Wings of Desire and Poe keeps shooting me down. 
> 
> In other news, this chapter is long (and midweek), so have fun!

Isak doesn’t know where Joni is, and it’s bringing back the strains of panic he thought he’d gotten rid of. 

He doesn’t just like Joni, he _needs_ Joni. He had gotten special permission and everything just to bring her on tour. There were so many medical and nonmedical forms he had had to fill out that it was almost like he was asking to bring another person along with him (and in a way, it’s almost like he is. She’s one of the only entities he speaks to regularly). But now she’s gone. He doesn’t know where she is. She could have gotten outside when he was panicking and not been able to get back in. Someone could have kidnapped her. She’s being held for ransom. He just knows it. Or worse...she got hit by a car. 

He isn’t aware of the sound he’s making until he hears a thump from the bunk above him. 

“Would you shut the fuck up...please?” Even says. His voice sounds groggy but not cruel. Isak tries to stop immediately but just winds up making a strangled hiccup sound. “Just...what’s wrong?” Even asks, though there’s not much genuine concern in his voice. 

“I can’t find Joni,” Isak manages. Even sighs.

“She’s up here,” he says tiredly, and Isak feels a rush of relief. A few moments later she jumps down from the bunk, landing somewhat clumsily in the aisle. She quickly climbs up onto his mattress and he lets out a sigh. She curls up against his chest and he feels his heart start to slow.

“You really shouldn’t take her like that,” he says, and Even gives a tired little laugh.

“She followed me up here and didn’t want to leave, so…” Isak frowns.

“Are you still sick?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, are you still sick? Like, with the flu or whatever?”

“I wasn’t sick, I ate something weird. So no, not sick,” Even practically snaps and Isak scratches behind Joni’s ear. She purrs.

“She can usually tell when people don’t feel good.”

“She’s a cat, Isak, I don’t think she knows any of that.”

“No, she’s trained. She’s a therapy cat.” There are a few moments of quiet.

“Oh. For your-” Isak cuts him off.

“Yeah. So...she can tell when people don’t feel good.”

“That’s pretty…” Even trails off.

“Special? Joni is special,” Isak says. 

“Yeah.”

“Umm...I’m just going to stop talking and spend time with my cat now,” Isak says awkwardly, trying to end the conversation. 

“You do that,” Evan says and Isak thinks he hears laughter in his voice. At least he isn’t being hostile, that’s a relief. 

\---

Now that they’ve started speaking more regularly, Isak has noticed that Even might not be (isn’t?) as bad as he thought. It’s not just one big thing, but rather the build up of tiny observations collected over the course of a couple weeks of touring (although Joni’s apparent love for Even is definitely a mark in his favor. Isak trusts her unconditionally and she seems to trust Even. So...there’s that).

Even is always nice to the crew. One thing that freaks Isak out is if musical acts are shitty to the crew. If they ignore them, that’s not cool but can be forgivable depending on the circumstances (like the flu or something). But being outright cruel is one thing that turns Isak’s stomach. Even has never once done something that Isak has had to evaluate against his morals about crew treatment. Even has greeted everyone by name and helped out almost as much as Isak has over the course of the tour. He doesn’t ask them to leave selfies if he’s taking them. He doesn’t yell at them (not even that time when sparks from the special effect lighting nearly set his guitar on fire backstage). He seems like a...nice guy. 

Even is always so aware of the relationships between the other people on tour and is always making sure that Eva can sit next to Vilde and Yousef can (try) to talk to Sana. He’s a bit of a hopeless romantic it seems. He jokes with Noora, talks to Linn, teaches Chris how to fold a t-shirt correctly - Isak can finally see why he’s been so well received.

He hopes he’s being subtle with all of his careful observations. He’s the master of stealth (really! He is. It’s just Even...is so...something.)

“Have you noticed how...considerate he is?” He asks Mikael one afternoon. They’re sitting on a bean bag backstage that they’ve claimed as their own. They like watching similar TV shows, reading similar books, and making catty observations about celebrities and politicians who have been mean to them or the LGBT+ community, so it only makes sense that they would hang out almost constantly. They’re currently about halfway through a season of Project Runway, which Isak swears he only watches ironically, but secretly loves.

“Hmm?” Mikael asks, starting to pay attention. 

“I mean. Look at that. That’s adorable. He just gave Eva and Vilde a coloring book that they can do together while they wait for their set. That’s so...fucking cute.”

“Even? Yeah. He’s the bomb. I think it made him sad that I sided with you, my new friend, in the entire Twitter thing. It’s just...he values people so highly. He’s a great guy. Pretentious as shit, but awesome.”

“He’s like...good at everything. He’s an amazing musician. He’s a good person. I’m...”

“Somebody has a crush!” Mikael teases and Isak...Isak can’t argue. He just nods. “Holy shit! Really?” Mikael asks. 

“Yeah...a bit. I don’t know. Joni likes him. I...I wish he liked me?” The older boy is adjusting one of the straps on his guitar down the hall, and Isak can’t seem to tear his eyes away. 

“What’s not to like, dude? You can get any man. You’re awesome.”

“Sounds like somebody has a crush,” Isak jokes. He knows they’re more like siblings than anything, but it’s the only joke that ever seems to get enough of a reaction from Mikael. 

“Ew! Nope. I have my sights set…”

“Tell me more!” Isak says curiously. Before he even finishes, though, he knows he won’t get any more than that from Mikael. 

“Sights set on stealing Joni!” Mikael shouts loudly. Even turns his head from what he’s working on, catching Isak’s eye. He winks, and Isak tries to look like he wasn’t staring.

\----

“I made tea,” he says as soon as Even steps into the cabin of the bus, and the older boy looks confused. He narrows his eyes. As usual, almost everybody is out either getting dinner or getting drunk, so it’s only the two of them after the show.

“Ok?” He asks and Isak holds out one of the mugs.

“Here.” Even takes it, though still obviously suspicious. He quirks a small smile.

“Did you...poison this or something?” Isak laughs.

“No, of course not,” Isak says and Even raises his eyebrows.

“Well, thanks.” he sits down on the couch, taking a small sip. He looks up abruptly. “Play that song. The one you played the other day.”

“Now?” Isak asks. Even shrugs as if to say ‘why not?’ and Isak laughs. “You’re just going to make fun of it.”

“You don’t know that,” Even says, leaning back, his long legs stretching out, a small smirk forming on his face. Fuck, he looks so good like that. Isak can see the waistband of his boxers peeking out of his jeans. He feels his own face getting hot.

“I’m pretty sure that’s what’s going to happen.” Isak shakes his head slightly. Even’s smile widens. He licks his lips. Fuck, Isak knows the blush must be visible on his cheeks by now. He tries to shake off the nervousness. Excitement?

“Fine. But then you have to play me something of yours,” he decides. Even gives a quick nod and Isak grabs his acoustic from the compartment under one of the seats. He plays with one of the tuning pegs for a moment, wasting time, trying to delay the insults he knows are coming.

He starts to play, and to his incredible surprise, gets through the whole thing without being interrupted. Even’s expression has softened - the difference is barely detectable, but it’s there. 

“Thoughts?” Isak finally asks after what feels like an infinite silence. Even looks up at the ceiling for a moment, as if he’s gathering his thoughts. Here it comes. The inevitable barrage of insults.

“Love it.” This is maybe the one thing Isak hadn’t prepared himself for. He scoffs.

“No you don’t,” he says flatly. Even looks mildly incredulous.

“I do. You should’ve been writing your own stuff this whole time if it’s that good. I didn’t think you…”

“You didn’t think I had it in me?” Isak asks in exaggerated indignation. He can understand why Even might doubt him. He’s never really had the opportunity to prove himself.

“Yeah, frankly. You have like three writing credits over the course of three albums. And they’re co-writing credits,” Even says matter-of-factly. 

“I just got permission last year,” Isak feels the need to explain.

“Permission?” Even asks, tilting his head slightly. 

“Yeah....from the label.” Isak feels guilty. He should have...but he was just...are these excuses? He looks up at Even’s (disappointed) face. Even rolls his eyes, something shifting in his expression. 

“You shouldn’t…” he trails off. “No one should be controlled by someone else.” He seems so serious, so somber, Isak wonders if he’s really talking about record labels and musicians at all.

“It’s not that deep. They just don’t think I’ll sell.” Isak shrugs, trying to seem nonchalant. 

“And you’re gonna let them tell you what to do?” Even asks and Isak tries to...he’s not really sure. He can feel his facade cracking slightly. He tries to smiles brightly, but it must not be that convincing because Even just looks more...something. 

“I have to. I’m under contract, I-” he tries to convince (himself) Even.

“Isak, you don’t need them. You don’t need anybody.”

“I’m not like you! I’m not...like that. Ok? I need people. They built me. And the ‘they’ we’re talking about is Eskild and Linn and...Noora and people like that - my friends. Your friends.”

“Not them. The guys who write your contracts and sign your checks and give you ‘permission.’ Fuck them. Fuck the managers and the VPs and the…” He takes a heavy breath. “All I’m saying is that you could do what you want. You could make the music you wanna make.”

“I’d love to, honestly, but it’s not that easy,” Isak says. “It’s just not,” he tries again, seeing Even’s skeptical face. Then, he remembers Even’s promise to play one of his own songs. “Here,” he says, handing him the guitar, and Even smiles.

“Which one do you want?” He asks.

“One you don’t play on stage,” Isak says, before thinking of something more specific. “No! The one...the one that’s only talking,” he says vaguely. Of course he knows the name. Even doesn’t need to know that. Even looks down at the instrument.

“I don’t know.”

“Why not?”

“It’s kind of personal.”

“I’ve heard it a hundred times.” 

“Most people skip that one. It's right before Bloody Motherfucker, so…”

“Well it's my favorite,” Isak says without thinking. 

“I don't believe you,” Even says immediately.

“No, I like it. As someone who uh...who struggles with mental illness stuff...I feel like it's really...accurate.” 

“Well you know it doesn't have much of a melody, so this might be boring,” Even says shrugging slightly.

“It's not boring,” Isak protests.

[ “Ok.” Even strums a chord.](https://open.spotify.com/track/6ZLt6fyonW1xOGMBC9vJPJ) “ _Repeat to yourself that you're not really gone. Time has proven that fooling yourself into believing the lie is the most effective way to deal with things you have no control over._ ” There's a soft picking pattern, but Isak is caught up in the bitter, almost melancholy sound of Even’s voice. It’s just like it is on the album except now it’s more real. More immediate. About half way through Isak realizes that Even’s done all this himself. He lived these words. “ _Go out for coffee four times a week by yourself. Always bring your notebook, never stop writing. Leave little comics and thank you notes with your tip. Watch them smile as you get in your car. Always talk down on yourself whenever possible. My life is shit because I deserve it, right? You must have done something really bad._ ”

It’s obvious that playing this is making Even uncomfortable, but he keeps going anyway, his eyes focused on the fretboard.

“ _Allow yourself to lose interest in the things you love. Watch as you begin to take a backseat to the world around you, don’t fight it. Become a secondary character in your own motion picture._ ”

It's called “How to Never Stop Being Sad” and Isak always wondered whether Even was actually...depressed. Isak had...something...in that realm brought on by a mixture of anxiety and some of his family issues a while back, but not on a level as intense as the song seems to suggest (he thinks).

Even carefully plays the last few chords, and ends with the final line.

“ _You don’t need other people to drive away your loneliness, you just needed to find a way to talk to it._ ”

He finishes with a roll of his eyes and hands Isak back the guitar.

“I really like that one,” Isak reiterates. 

“I didn't want to put it in,” Even says shaking his head.

“Isn't it kind of the...climax of the album?” He asks, suddenly a little less sure about his interpretation of Even’s music. 

“Yeah, it's just really...private.”

“Your whole album is about that stuff though--like, how he say you're fine but you're not and you end with this...this big fuck you, saying you won't pretend to be ok anymore. You didn't want to share any of that?”

“Not in real life. Sitting here…it's different. I've never told anybody any of the stuff in those songs. It's like I let the whole world read a transcript of my thoughts.”

“Why would you do that to yourself?”

“I only can write what I write. I mean, you know, you can't really choose what songs are your best or which ones are going to be the ones that say what you feel.”

“Isn't it weird? Having people know all this about you?” Isak asks, shifting slightly.

“Most people don't care about the whole album’s message or...whatever. But yeah. It's weird. Because I'm not the guy from the end of that album. I haven't made it out yet.”

“But you write stuff like...that one for Mikael and them. About white girls.”

“I wrote it as a joke because we were trying to write a love song for their ep, but we were having a shitty time so Elias just said ‘all the rich white girls listening to this aren't going to care. All they do is bitch and whine. Write that.’ So Yousef said ‘you can't write a song like that’ so...I did. Pulled out a couple chords. They really took it from there, but with them, it's usually something someone says that we decide is the actual truth, as opposed to the metaphors and all that.” Even pauses, taking another sip of his tea. “So that song. You just played me. Who’s that about?” Isak wasn’t expecting the question.

“Uh...I don’t know...” Isak says slowly. Even smirks.

“You know. You just don’t want to tell me,” Even argues and Isak laughs.

“Yeah. I don’t want to tell you,” he agrees. Even breaks into a full smile. He presses a hand to his chest.

“Is it me?” He asks dramatically. 

“No.” Isak rolls his eyes.

“I think it is. I think you’re just shy,” Even teases.

“No, it’s, uh…” He pauses and scratches the back of his neck, trying not to meet Even’s gaze. “I’ve never had a...person, before, so it’s just about the first guy I had a crush on.” Jonas.

“I like that,” Even decides.

“Your songs are about your girlfriend, right?” Isak asks, out of what he tells himself is curiosity (Nope. Not Jealously).

“Uh, yeah. I guess. If they’re romantic. Which honestly? They’re usually not. I’m not good at writing that. Other people...are better at it. Like you, for example, you’re better at it.” Isak feels his heart skip a beat and his face flush. He hopes Even can’t tell. Even’s...without a doubt, one of the best songwriters of the moment. He’s up there with Noora and all those other writers who have triple platinum records.

“Don’t fuck with me,” he says dismissively, sure that this has to be some elaborate insult. Talk him up and take him down when he doesn’t expect it.

“I’m not! I’m serious,” Even insists. Isak gives a soft breath of relief. Lets himself relax. Things are going well.

“No. That one you have, it’s called...fuck, [it was on your first EP. ](https://open.spotify.com/track/4Acofe9hICRvyBTP5hFNk0) I loved it.” The words rush out before Isak can stop them. Even shakes his head.

“That wasn’t about anyone though.” Isak frowns, confused.

“It has to be.” Didn’t it have to be? It was so lovely, how could he have made it up? You can’t pull things like that out of the air, can you?

“Nah, it’s about someone I wish I could have. Like, in my head, this person exists, but I’ve never actually...felt like that. About someone. If that makes sense.” Even seems to realize he’s been revealing more than he wants to, so he takes a gulp of tea before running a hand through his disheveled hair. “Thanks for the tea,” he says, his voice now clipped and detached as normal, and Isak almost thinks these last 10 minutes have been a dream.

“Welcome.” Even finishes the mug, setting it in the sink and, with a wink, walks into the bunk area, disappearing behind the dividing curtain.

As soon as he’s gone, Isak slips in his headphones and finds the love song Even wrote on that first EP. He closes his eyes and tries to let the music wash over him.

_I hear the drizzle of the rain, like a memory it falls soft and warm and continuing, tapping on my roof and walls._

It’s stupid, but he imagines him and Even, sitting here one night, and Even playing him this song. Feeling this way about him. 

_My mind’s distracted and diffused, my thoughts are many miles away. They lie with you when you’re asleep, kiss you when you start you day._

The door swings open suddenly and he feels, inexplicably, like he’s been caught doing something he’s not supposed to be doing. He smiles when he realizes it’s only Mikael.

“Hey,” he says, and Mikael smiles back, sitting down next to him. Mikael puts an arm around him and Isak sighs, happy to have someone he’s actually comfortable with around. It’s weird how fast he’s gotten close to Mikael but it feels so nice. Really natural.

“What’s up?”

“Just chilling.”

\---

The next night, after the show, everyone goes out to party in Chicago - tomorrow is a press day, and it doesn’t start till 12 so everyone is taking the opportunity to get hammered. Except for Isak (fucking baby Isak as everyone seems so keen to remind him). And Even.

“Where did you go today?” Isak asks petting Joni as Even is taking the boiling water off of the stove. There are two mugs on the counter. He fills both of them up. Even had been gone from lunch until sound check, which was time he usually spent writing with Noora or...annoying...Isak.

“For a walk,” he says, spooning sugar into his tea. He stirs it slowly.

“Care to elaborate?” Even shrugs.

“It’s on my Instagram if you really need to know.” Ah yes, Even’s Instagram. The curated collection of artful photos with quippy, unfiltered captions.

“I saw you lied on there. The other day.”

“I never lie.”

“You said you were hungover.” Even doesn’t respond, just hands Isak his mug. “You don’t drink. Ever,” Isak clarifies.

“Yeah well, people don’t deserve to know everything about me.” He sits down on the opposite couch.

“It’s not that personal.” Isak takes a sip of tea. Perfect, as usual. It always tastes perfect when Even makes it.

“You don't get to decide for me what I find personal,” Even says, a bit of bite in his voice.

“Sorry, I just...everybody gets sick sometimes. It’s not a big deal.”

“There’s no reason for people to know how I really am apart from my music. They don’t need to know about...everything behind the scenes. There’s EVBN, and there’s Even. I’d like to keep it separate.”

“You’re human. Plus you’re always giving people shit about not being authentic,” Isak tries to reason. “Seems...hypocritical to lie.”

“My music is authentic. When I go on stage, I’m authentic. No one is entitled to anything other than that.”

Isak would ask what exactly Even doesn’t want to share, but he’s guessing Even wouldn’t tell him anyway. They sit in silence for a few minutes, each seemingly focused on their respective cups of tea.

“So...your immune thing is genetic?” Isak asks and Even nods.

“It’s really not important.” They’re both quiet again for a while. “When can I buy that song? Or, pirate it?” Even asks, smiling slightly.

“Oh, uh, depends if Jonas wants it or not,” Isak mutters. It takes Even a few seconds to respond.

“It’s on your next album I thought.” Even looks mildly confused.

“No, it got axed. By the label.”

“That’s bullshit,” Even says. He has a stormy look in his eyes that Isak hasn’t seen in awhile. He’s certainly never seen it directed at anyone besides him. 

“Yeah.”

“No, really, it is.”

The conversation lapses into silence again. In all honesty, Isak is rather glad for the break. If they were to continue on talking about all of his failures and the fact that his own label has almost no faith in him...he probably would break down. Silence, though? He can deal with that. 

“How do you feel about escapism?” Even asks out of the blue. 

“Huh?” Isak responds. “Do you mean like...drugs?” Even shoots Isak an amused look. 

“Nooo…” He draws out. “Are you...ok?” He asks with a teasing smile. Isak laughs, rolling his eyes.

“Shut up,” Isak says. “What else was I supposed to...you just started asking about escapism. What conclusion was I supposed to make?” 

“So you don’t need help? That’s something a drug addict would say,” Even taunts. 

“I was going to hear you out...but now I think I’ll just go to sleep,” Isak says, starting to get up. He really has no intention of leaving but seeing Even try to convince him to stay...that’d be...something. 

“No! Wait! I meant...movies?” Even says and Isak freezes. Movies? Yeah, he likes movies. Sort of. He has a feeling maybe Even doesn’t like what he likes though, based on the way he asked the question. Isak likes...Star Wars. And An American in Paris. In equal measure. Even probably likes...weird foreign stuff with abstract imagery and blood.

“Yeah,” he says instead of voicing those concerns. “I like movies.”

“Ok! That’s...good,” Even says quickly and Isak smiles. “What kind?” He seems desperate to keep up the conversation, even though he’s trying to hide it.

“Well...what kind do you like? What’s your favorite?” Even raises his eyebrows.

“All kinds. For escapism, though, you know? So not...not stuff that I could just see in real life. Like...depressed people or death or stuff like that, you know?” Isak nods, even though he doesn’t get it. “So, I like...Romeo and Juliet, for example.”

“I have that on my laptop. We could...we could watch it. If you want to,” Isak offers, and Even looks pleasantly surprised.

“Yeah?”

“Mmhmm. The one from...the 60s.” Isak doesn’t really remember why he has it downloaded in the first place - it might’ve been free. 

“Why the fuck do you have that?” Even bursts out then looks down. “Nobody ever likes that version. I...really do, but usually people don’t.”

“Uhhh...I don’t know? I also have West Side Story?” Isak says. “I actually like that one...except for Natalie Wood.”

“At least you have some taste,” Even says and Isak rolls his eyes.

“Well do you want to watch something or not?” Isak asks and Even nods.

“60s tragedy. I’m in the mood for some shakespearean true love and death, I think. With tights.”

“Musical or not? They’re both from the 60s.”

“1968.”

“Ok.”

They end up side by side in Isak’s bunk, leaning against each other. Even makes soft comments throughout the movie on specific angles and techniques, but Isak is almost (almost) too enthralled with the movie to notice. As the movie goes on Even starts to talk about more than just techniques. He likes the way Juliet leans over the balcony, because ‘you can tell she loves him. Without any words.’ Eventually, the movie that was playing on the tiny screen set into the wall is over and the soft glow of the credits is the only light.

“Hey,” Even says, and Isak smiles at him, his heart feeling like a jackhammer.

“Hey.”

“What’d you think?” Even asks in a hushed voice. Isak blinks slowly, thinking. 

“It was magnificent. That was...a step above what I remembered, for sure,” he says. Because of the company, Isak thinks, but he won’t say that.

“I’m glad we watched it.”

“I’m glad you watched it with me,” Isak responds quietly. They’re silent for a few moments before Even begins speaking again.

“What’s something…” Even pauses, “Something you’ve never told anyone. Or...something secret.” His voice is so quiet. Careful, almost.

“I don’t know if I trust you,” Isak whispers back, teasing, and Even smiles gently.

“We can trade.”

“You don’t have any secrets, remember?” Isak shoots back. 

“I have plenty.”

“Ok. Give me a minute. Ummm…” Isak racks his brain for something worthy.

“Take your time but make it a good one. Mine is...big.”

“Shit, now there’s so much pressure.” 

“No pressure. Just don’t screw up.”

“Gee...thanks...ummmm...this makes me sound like an asshole. Ok. So. I still can’t stand to be in the same room as my parents because even though I know that them breaking up was for the best, I resent them for that. I blame them for my anxiety even though I know that that's not really how it works. I have to set reminders to force myself to talk to them even though I know that they probably love me, I just can’t convince myself that they do because if they really loved me wouldn’t they have stayed as a family so I could have been at home for a little bit longer.”

Even pushes some of Isak’s hair out of his face, careful not to actually touch him. Isak wishes he could feel those fingertips on his cheek.

“That’s big. Mine feels...less articulate now,” Even says almost sheepishly. 

“No, say it,” Isak whispers.

“I’m bipolar.”

“Ok.” Isak doesn’t know what else to say. Bipolar. That...changes things. Can Isak really dive into another relationship like the one with his mom? Granted, his mom is doing well now, they’re close, but what if Even isn’t there yet? What if Isak can’t handle it? What if Even ends up hurting him? No. Don’t think about that.

“That’s it?” Even asks.

“Are you...like, are you ok? Do you have...treatment options that work for you and enough of a support system?” Even nods.

“Yeah...but...most people, when they hear that, they think about me differently. Which is why nobody really knows. Even my parents, they treat me...with concern. More than is necessary.”

“Even. My mother was an undiagnosed paranoid schizophrenic for most of my childhood. I don’t really know what you want me to say besides at least you have the help you need and people who understand. That’s...that’s really good?”

“I don’t want you to say anything in particular. I just...secrets are...secrets help people trust each other,” he says softly and Isak nods. He feels like the whole world’s been condensed down to just the two of them. “I...like you. I want to trust you. I want you to trust me.” Isak nods again.

“I do.” His voice is shaking. Even runs his fingers carefully through his hair, and Isak feels like he might melt at the touch.

“Good.” His hand is resting behind Isak’s head, still tangled in his hair. “Plus you said you liked ‘How to Never Stop Being Sad,’ and I thought that you ought to know what it was really about.”

“Also...now you owe me another secret,” Isak whispers.

“For what?!”

“My mom…”

“I’ll write an IOU.”

\---

There’s a girl outside the radio station Isak doesn’t recognize - short blonde hair and tan skin and a big, white smile. Isak’s walking toward the bus with Mikael, all too aware of Even’s presence behind him. They just finished their group interview - they gave away a few backstage passes and tickets to the show tomorrow, and it was a nice break from the usual grind of commute, sound check, and show day after day.

Mikael seems to recognize the girl because he grimaces, giving Isak a sideways glance.

“Even!” The girl says, and Even steps forward into the parking lot, looking somewhat confused until realization dawns on his face.

“Hey, Sonja,” he says, and they hug. Fuck, Isak is jealous. Why is he so jealous? “Why are you…”

“I have a meeting with Vilde,” she says, and Isak opens his mouth to ask Mikael something but he cuts him off.

“She’s a recruiter for Triumph Records. They dated for...four years.” The tight, hot, jealous feeling swells in Isak’s throat.

“Why would she have a meeting with Vilde?” Isak asks and Mikael shrugs.

“Don’t know.”

Even and the girl, Sonja, stand there talking quietly for a few minutes, and every so often she’ll touch his arm. Isak isn’t confused as to why his stomach sinks when he sees this anymore, but knowing that he has a crush doesn’t make it any less painful. 

“Come on. You don’t need to see this,” Mikael says quietly to Isak, pulling him into the bus. 

\---

Someone’s walking through the bunks. It wakes him up twice, but each time he forces himself back to sleep. This time, however, he decides he’d better get up just to make sure Even isn’t dying again.

Even is rummaging through the small closet that holds his street clothes.

“Hey, it’s late,” Isak says, and Even turns, looking only mildly surprised. 

“I know.”

“You ok?”

“Fine.” Isak can see him shivering as he pulls on one of the hoodies from the closet. Even in the near darkness, Isak can tell he’s pale.

“I have some extra blankets if you need them?”

“Why?”

“Oh...ummm...I like the weight. I guess. Ummm-”

“No. I mean why are you offering me your blankets?”

“It’s the right thing to do, isn’t it?” Isak asks defensively. Even lets out a harsh sounding laugh. 

“I guess it is. Lead the way.”

Isak pulls back the curtain on his bunk. Joni is curled on the top corner, right near a heating vent. 

“Maybe I should have fought harder for this one,” Even tries to joke. Isak shakes his head and reaches out to move Joni. 

“Sorry. Ummm….”

“What?” Even asks. 

“Do you want to...warm up? With me?” Isak asks before he’s able to second guess himself. Even looks surprised, but in the low light, Isak can’t tell if that’s good or bad. “Cuddle, I guess.” 

“You wouldn’t want to cuddle with me,” he says drily.

“Why’s that?” Isak lays his hand on Even’s shoulder, his fingertips brushing his bare skin. He frowns and touches the side of his neck. The skin is firey - Even’s got a bad fever. Complete with chills, apparently. Even must notice he’s distracted because he looks distinctly confused.

“What?” Isak frowns.

“You feel just like...hot or something. But that doesn't make sense.” He moves his hand tentatively to the side of Even’s face. Still burning up.

Even gives him an almost pleading look, but he doesn't speak, just holds his gaze for a beat before breaking eye contact, looking down at where Isak’s hand touches his skin.

“Are you -” Isak starts to ask. Even cuts him off.

“No.” His voice is quiet, not very forceful, but Isak doesn't want to argue.

“If -” he tries. 

“It doesn't matter, ok?” Even must be able to tell that Isak isn't swayed so he continues. “Just don't tell Eskild. I can handle it.”

“What's gonna happen if you can't?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

“Even, I don't wanna cross that bridge.”

“Look, Isak, I’m responsible for myself. I can handle it,” he explains more softly. Isak moves his hand, hesitantly, to Even’s hot forehead, feeling a pang of something in his chest. Even closes his eyes, letting out a soft breath. 

A few minutes later they’re pressed together in Isak’s bunk, Isak’s head tucked under Even’s chin, the older boy’s arms wrapped loosely around his shoulders. The heat rolling off him is verging on uncomfortable but little shivers still rock through Even’s chest. Isak presses himself closer and closes his eyes, letting the steady thump of Even’s heartbeat lull him to sleep.

\---

“Hey, Isak,” Even says walking over to where Isak and Mikael are curled up watching cat videos. He looks slightly uncomfortable. If Isak didn’t know better he’d say that Even looks...jealous.

“Yeah?” Isak replies, sitting up immediately to talk. 

“Ummm...I’m sorry? Are you busy?”

“Nope. Ow-” he’s cut off by Mikael’s elbow in his ribs. “Not that busy. Never too busy for you? Wait...that was weird, sorry.”

“Ok…” Even says slowly. Mikael is cracking up behind Isak and he reaches back and smacks him casually. 

“No...really we were just watching that video with the cat that barks like a dog? Ummm... what’s up?” Even may look jealous but he looks a lot better than he did last night. When Isak had woken up he was already gone, and only the smell of Even’s shampoo (lavender honey) on his pillowcase convinced him that it wasn’t all a dream.

“Sure...uhhh...so I figured something out?” Even starts. Wait? What? Did he...no. He couldn’t have. Did Mikael tell him?

“Yeah?” Isak asks hesitantly. He hopes no one can tell his heart is beating double time.

“Are you sure?” Even asks nodding towards Mikael. Isak shrugs and so Even continues. “You’re a superfan.” Isak’s expression doesn’t change but Mikael starts laughing harder. “Of me? Like you know all of my songs and which EPs they’re on and-”

“Busted!” Mikael laughs. Isak slaps him again, but Mikael catches his hand. Isak sighs, relieved. 

“It’s not really a secret…”

“What?” Even asks, surprised. Isak smiles slightly. 

“Ummm...I mean that’s the entire reason we met?”

“Yeah but-”

“Even...I literally flew across the nation on spec just to watch you perform. I sought you out back stage,” he says in a rush. 

“What?” Even looks stunned. 

“I mean? Yes?” Isak says. Even is silent and Isak can almost hear his mind working. Then suddenly…

“Oh shit!” He says. Mikael cackles. “Right. That was when I was under the impression you were a talentless, unoriginal fuck, which I know now is...” He looks at Mikael and seems to correct himself, hardening his expression. “Uh, maybe not completely accurate.” Obviously, Even must not want to let anyone besides Isak know about his new...soft spot. That’s ok. Isak doesn’t really want to have everyone know either. It feels special.

“Only partly?” Isak asks with a small smile. 

“Still hate you,” Even says, smiling back quickly before shifting back into his normal, calm, collected expression.

“Ditto.”

\---

That night before the show Even seems decidedly off. True to his word, Isak hasn’t told anybody about what happened the night before with the fever and the bed sharing, but he’s starting to think maybe he didn’t do the right thing. 

Even and Eskild got into a shouting match over whether Even could perform - Eskild had the suspicion Even wasn’t completely healthy, which Even vehemently denied - and frankly, Isak knows for a fact Even shouldn’t be doing anything at all with the fever he’s running. But every time he wants to speak up his mind flashes back to the first night he spent in bed with Even, when they decided that they trusted each other. Even trusts him. He can’t fuck that up.

So, he doesn’t say anything. Not while Even misses a chord progression on stage or when he forgets one of his lyrics, not when Eskild is asking everyone if they know “what’s up” with Even. 

He doesn’t say anything until Even gets backstage after his set and promptly, in front of everybody, passes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Come On, Set the Tone Tumblr](https://comeonsetthetone-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Isak’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/6gLN1ZtFTX44jsKIDp5p49)!  
> [Even’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/3bPGjf7mBaM8pzz1JeZrnX)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> Send us any questions on the tumblr as well. We sometimes make announcements there too. :)


	8. EVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeyyyy!!! :)

Someone is calling his name. Fuck, he doesn’t feel good. His vision is just a mess of colors, his head is pounding so hard it’s making him tear up, and it feels like someone lit a fire under his skin. He closes his eyes, but somebody shakes him, so he opens them up again.

Is he on stage? Please God, let him not be on stage. He told himself he was going to make it offstage. 

More people are talking now, but he can’t really make out any of the words. He fucked up. He fucked this whole thing up. Something cold comes into contact with his skin and it seems to pull him further into consciousness. His vision starts to clear up. Eskild is in front of him, and he tries to pay attention to the words coming out of his mouth.

“...like this?” Eskild asks but Even didn’t catch the first part of the question. He frowns.

“What?” He mumbles and tries pushing himself up on his elbows. His vision swims and his arms shake, but he doesn’t want to be lying on the ground anymore. He’s on the concrete of the backstage main hallway, and he lets out a shaky sigh.

“How long have you been like this?” He asks again and Even tries to remember.

“Two,” he says, and Eskild sighs. 

“Two what?”

“Yes.” Eskild huffs but Even isn’t really sure what he was supposed to say. Clearly, he said the wrong thing.

“Two days?” Eskild tries and Even nods. That sounds right. Yesterday...he started to feel bad. Today, he felt bad too. That’s two days. “Ok. Linn’s gonna take you to the ER.”

“No, no, no, that’s ok,” Even says in a rush. He does not want to go to the hospital. He’s probably just dehydrated, plus, he really doesn’t want to make a scene. He just got dizzy. He can sleep it off.

“It’s really funny how you think you have a choice,” Eskild says. There’s a hand on his forehead. “Fuck. Linn!”

“Is he ok?” That’s Isak’s voice. Christ, this is so embarrassing. 

“Obviously not,” Sana snaps. Though Even can’t see them, he knows they’re all crowded around. Watching. The thought makes him want to throw up. He probably would if there were even remotely something in his stomach.

“What’s happening?” Yousef. 

“Even fainted,” Eva says.

A hand, presumably Linn’s, helps him up, and as soon as he’s upright the world starts to gray out. He manages to catch himself on the wall, and as soon as he can stand on his own he makes a beeline for the door, his legs unsteady. When he gets outside, in the cool night air, he has the urge to cry. He grits his teeth and swallows the feeling.

Then, Linn is next to him, her hand on his shoulder. He’s leaning back against the building, trying to take deep breaths.

“I’m gonna grab the car,” she says, and he nods. What feels like only a moment later, he’s in the backseat, lying on his side.

The night is spent with an IV in his arm, pumping him full of saline and ibuprofen and anti-emetics. After a while he starts to remember exactly what had happened - it had been two days since he kept down any food and one since he’d kept down any water so it wasn’t exactly a surprise that he passed out. He made it to the end of his set, which was a feat in itself, but he lasted about two seconds backstage before losing it.

He’s back at the bus by 2 AM, which is when they were supposed to be leaving for the next city anyway, so at least that’s a positive - he didn’t hold up the entire tour - but Eskild has him on a very short leash.

He’s confined to his bunk, which is fine by him because all he really wants to do is sleep. Every so often Eskild will come by with a water bottle and some crackers, but other than that, he’s alone. 

He doesn’t feel so terrible anymore - the anti-nausea meds let him eat, which helped his headache, and his fever is pretty well controlled with the ibuprofen (except for the last hour before he’s allowed to take the next dose when it spikes back up). 

Everyone’s left him alone - probably by Eskild’s instruction - which is a relief. No one needs to see him like this.

They get to the next venue around 12, and once the bus stops moving he gets out of bed, shrugging on a hoodie. Everyone’s out, probably getting lunch, except for Eskild, who’s typing on his laptop. 

“Hey sleeping beauty,” he says without looking up. “I know what you’re going to ask and the answer is this: you can do a quarter of your normal set.”

“Ok,” Even says, nodding, and Eskild looks up.

“I was sure you were going to fight me on that.” Even shakes his head. “Good. I’ll have Noora run your soundcheck, are you hungry?”

“No, that’s ok.”

“Trick question, you’re eating.” Eskild gets up and walks to the fridge, pulling out a bowl of something. “Rice and beans. Courtesy of your balloon boys. Elias got it last night when they went out.” The thought brings a small smile to his face. Eskild raises a finger, pointing at him. “You’re eating the whole thing.”

“I know.”

“Good boy.” Even rolls his eyes, taking the bowl. Eskild gives him a small smile. “See? Very easy to follow my instructions.”

“Thanks, Eskild.”

\---

“Have you guys seen Even?” Isak’s voice from the cabin of the bus catches his attention. He pushes himself up in bed.

“No, I think he’s just chilling. Maybe in one of the dressing rooms?” Chris says. 

“Eskild said he’s doing a quarter set tonight,” Sana adds.

“That was so scary! When he fell. I was so scared,” Vilde says, and there are some murmurs of agreement.

“Do you guys know how he’s doing?” Isak asks, the worry transparent in his voice.

“I thought you hated him. Remember? You hate his hair. And the way he folds his hands,” Eva says. Even frowns to himself. His hands? How does he fold his hands?

“That’s true,” Chris says.

“I...Of course I still _hate_ him. I’m not...I’m just...He’s our bus mate. Our...tour mate. I’m just...making sure he’s not gonna...sabotage the tour or something,” Isak splutters. There’s a pause. “But if you see him, just...tell him hi. From me.”

Even breaks into a full smile. 

\---

After his set, he immediately climbs back into bed (Isak’s bed he realizes when he’s half asleep). He’s glad he didn’t fight Eskild - even a half hour of playing has him practically shaking with exhaustion. He feels chills starting in the pit of his stomach and hopes - prays - his fever isn’t coming back up. He’s supposed to talk to his family tonight and they don’t know about any of this. For now, though, the only thing he can focus on is how much he wants to sleep.

He doesn’t remember falling asleep but wakes up to a soft knocking on the wood paneling outside the bunk.

“Even,” Isak whispers, and Even feels a smile spread across his face. Isak. God, how did he fall so fast? Maybe it was when he heard him play his own song. Maybe it was when he saw Isak’s genuine little smile, lit up by the tiny screen in his bunk. Maybe it was that first day at Osci, where he saw him in the crowd. He’s so gorgeous, he looks like a prince. His gold curls and cupid’s bow and sharp eyes...Even catches himself fantasizing sometimes. Fantasizing about those pretty lips. “You awake?”

“Yeah.” He slides open the little curtain and hopes he doesn’t look too terrible. Isak gives him a little smile.

“How are you?” He asks. Even swallows hard.

“Ok.”

“You cold?” Isak asks. Even knows what that means. He nods.

They end up, once again, in Isak’s bunk, curled together. Isak’s head is against his chest.

“What happened? Last night,” he asks and Even sighs. He knew the question was coming but he doesn’t want to answer.

“I was dehydrated.” Isak hums in response.

“I’m glad you’re ok,” he whispers, almost like he’s afraid Even will hear.

“I hate myself,” Even whispers before he can stop himself.

“No. Don’t say that.”

“I hate that I’m like this. I can’t...I...I’m a weak person. My head and my body are both fucked. And I’m so...I’m so...” He doesn’t know what else to say. How to explain this.

“Stop.”

“No...everything...it’s just a big reminder. It’s a reminder of how everything in my life was shit and it...it always has the potential to come back,” he says, even though the voice at the back of his mind is telling him to stop. He’s saying too much.

“What do you mean?” Isak asks, tilting his head slightly. 

“I just...remember when you asked if the immune thing was genetic?”

“Yeah?” Isak answers slowly and Even nods. 

“Right. So...it is. And that sucks. It’s like...my Dad didn’t just fuck me up with the entire shitty parenting thing, right? It’s like he had to go one step further and give me shitty DNA.” Isak draws little circles with his fingers on Even’s chest.

“But...that’s not your fault.” 

“It’s not. But it’s still there. I still have to take all this medication and do all this stuff...just so I can counteract everything my...sperm donor did. And my mom...I never even met my mom. Because she was ‘crazy.’ Now I am too.” He’s quiet for a moment, not sure if he should keep going. “And people...people take advantage of you if you’re weak. So I can’t...I can’t show anybody that. And more than that I just...I wanna forget about all of it. I don’t want it to eat up my whole life. I don’t want everyone who sees me thinking about how...fragile I am.” Isak nods.

“Yeah,” he whispers. He gets somehow closer. “I understand.”

\---

Everyone knows. Everyone. It was a tabloid, too. Not one of those classy gossip magazines. 

**EVBN: A PSYCHOTIC BREAK BRINGS TOUR TO A HALT**

_After paparazzi spotted Bech Næshiem at the ER, we reached out to an inside source close to the star. “He’s bipolar, he probably had some kind of break.” To many fans' outrage, the singer-songwriter only performed for a half hour before leaving the stage last night in Minneapolis._

“Isak? Can I talk to you?” Even asks, desperately trying to keep his cool. 

“Uhhh...yeah?” Isak looks confused but follows. Even leads him around the corner into a moderately sized storage room that houses a forklift and a few large spools of electrical cord. As soon as he’s sure the door is closed, he lets himself go.

“What the fuck did you do?!” He bursts out. Isak pales.

“What did I do?” He echoes in disbelief.

“Yeah! What were you thinking?” The only person who could’ve leaked this is Isak. No one else Even knows would’ve done it, and is it a coincidence only a few days after Isak found out there was a leak? Even doesn’t think so.

“Do what?” Isak asks again and Even huffs in frustration. 

“I told you that in confidence. I would never have done that if I knew how…” He cuts himself off, trying to calm down. “Nevermind. It was on me for believing that you’d...I just…” He trails off again. Isak is looking at him in concern. “Just...don’t talk to me again,” he finishes, and without waiting for a response he leaves, walking back to the bus. He thinks he did a pretty good job of controlling his anger. He could have been far more vicious but managed to reign it in (not that Isak deserved it for what he did). 

For a few seconds of revenge, Isak had taken his most private information to the tabloids.

\---

There’s a new voicemail on his cellphone. Sonja. Why is she calling?

“Hi, Ev, I have some stuff to say so please call me back! It’s important. Bye.” Reluctantly, he taps her number, bringing the phone to his ear as it starts to ring.

“Hi,” she says, and he steels himself.

“What?” He asks shortly.

“Why so pissy?” She asks teasingly. 

“What do you want?” He responds. He’s playing none of her games today.

“I wanted to see if you were ok. I heard you went to the hospital. Was it your meds?” Even frowns.

“No.”

“Someone asked me and I told them it could’ve been your BPD but-” Sonja starts and Even cuts her off.

“What?”

“Some guy I know who used to be a copywriter at Triumph. He wanted to know if I knew anything but I didn’t so I gave my best guess.”

“Sonja, it’s a secret,” Even explains slowly. It’s always been a secret. She’s known that. Who else had she told? 

“It’s not a secret anymore. Why would it be a secret?” Sonja says to him. He wants to roll his eyes but if he moves even that much he might cry. Did she really care so little about his privacy? Had she ever cared for him at all?

“Because I don’t want the covers of magazines saying that I’m a psycho, that’s why.”

“I don’t get how you can be out as gay but not want people to know you’re mentally ill,” Sonja says. Even’s stomach turns. How could he have dated this...person? She just compared his sexuality to a mental illness. But also she had steamrolled his own choice to keep some parts of his life private. There are parts of his life he doesn’t want to discuss. Parts that even he doesn’t want to think about. Why couldn’t she understand that?

“Just please, please, don’t call me. Ok?” If she doesn’t respect him still, even after all their time together, he shouldn’t keep trying. 

“Wait, there was one more thing I needed to ask. Do you know if Vilde is going to take me up on my offer?”

“What offer?” He asks, confused and exasperated.

“I have this girl she used to work with, Sara, who is thinking about forming some kind of girl group and I-” Even cuts her off.

“Stay away from Vilde, and stay away from me. Ok?”

“Even-”

“Stop saying my name. I’m hanging up.”

“Wait.”

“What?”

“No, I just...I don’t want you to hang up.”

“Bye.” He ends the call, flopping back onto the bed, covering his eyes with an arm. Fuck. He’d just yelled at Isak for no reason. Again.

\---

“Ummm…” Even starts and Isak looks up from where he’s petting Joni. “Can we talk?”

“I don’t know are you going to yell at me?” Isak responds warily, pulling his cat in protectively to his chest. She meows softly and stretches her paws out onto his shoulder. 

“Look...I’m sorry. You must’ve seen the...news by now?” Even asks and Isak nods. “You’re one of only a few people that I told and I just thought ‘well Eskild wouldn’t do that and I just told Isak so it must be him,’ you know, because of the feud?”

“Oh. Oh no...Even. I swear. It wasn’t me. I haven’t told anyone. I never discussed it. There’s no way. Did I somehow do this? I can...I can leave the tour if you need me to?” He looks so panicked it makes Even feel guilty for ever assuming.

“No! No, Isak! I...jumped to conclusions. I...I know it wasn’t you. I didn’t want to-” Isak cuts him off.

“Are you sure?” He asks hesitantly.

“Yeah...it was Sonja. You know? My ex.” Isak nods slowly.

“Do you want...do you want to hold Joni?” Isak asks slowly. Even stares at him. 

“What?”

“You could if you wanted to?”

“I thought that that was a bit...I don’t know….against the rules of therapy animals? I thought that it was limited contact with other humans and stuff?”

“She’s emotional support, though. Did you google that?” Isak asks, surprised. 

“Maybe,” Even responds sheepishly. “Do you mean it, because...I would like that.”

“Go for it,” Isak says, carefully detaching Joni’s tiny claws from his mustard yellow sweater. Joni purrs loudly and relaxes, even as Isak lifts her over into Even’s arms.

“She’s a ragdoll, right?” He asks and Isak looks surprised.

“Yeah…”

“I read that they’re one of the best kinds of cats for emotional support. I heard they can learn to do tricks and stuff. Like dogs.” Isak laughs.

“Yeah. I’m not sure if I’ll try to train her though, she’s pretty perfect as is. What kind is Zimmerman?” Even’s surprise Isak would remember.

“Angora. I think. He’s a spoiled asshole. He loves fruit loops.”

“You feed your cat fruit loops?”

“No. He figured out how to open my cabinets.”

“That’s pretty brilliant.”

“Not when you have to clean up after him.”

“Joni is learning to fetch. Besides that, I think she just sleeps and cuddles.”

“That’s really sweet.” He’s quiet for a moment, running a hand through the dark fur. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Letting me apologize. I just...thought it was you,” Even says softly. 

“Yeah.”

“I just wanted so badly for us to be...” He cuts himself, not willing to say anything more.

“I wouldn’t do that to you. I won’t ever do that,” Isak says.

“Alright. Promise?”

“Yeah. Promise.”

\---

As soon as the buses pull into the parking lot of the arena Even feels at home. There’s an energy in the air that he can quite describe. It might just be the humidity or maybe the fact that he’s less than 20 minutes away from his parents and sister. Either way, he knows that something feels special. Something feels almost...magical. 

“Hey, Even!” Chris calls out to him. He’s standing in the parking lot just….breathing it in. “Do you have any recommendations?” She asks. 

“For?”

“Food, events, cool things?”

“Neat places?” Noora adds walking over. He puts his hands into his pockets.

“Uhhh…yeah. There’s a good Chinese restaurant two blocks over. Also Pike Market is pretty cool. And the Space Needle for a touristy view. There’s coffee shops all over too. Just walk into one and let them make what they want for you.” 

“Thanks Even!” Chris says. “I’ll get Sana. Eva and Vilde can chill here then,” she says to Noora as they walk off. 

“No. She’s with Yousef. I think they’re going to go to the Redhawks practice,” Noora says. Even smiles slightly. Bonding over basketball. Cute.

Everyone disperses quickly. They’d been on the bus for the majority of the morning and all of the night before, so most people were desperate to get off. One person he hadn’t seen leave (not that he was looking for them. Definitely not.) was Isak. 

Isak is in his bunk when Even finally finds him. He’s curled around Joni, his laptop propped open. It casts a blue glow over the tiny space.

“Hey there,” Even says and Isak hums in acknowledgment. “You ok?” He asks. Isak shrugs.

“Joni knows when people feel bad,” he says.

“But Joni’s always around you,” Even says and Isak nods. 

“Exactly.”

“Maybe...maybe we should go somewhere? We’ve been on the bus for ages. This is my hometown after all.” 

“Like where?” Isak asks, finally looking up.

“I know this place, it’s right by my parents’ house, they have amazing coffee.”

“Is it far?”

“Not too far. We could get back in time for soundcheck.” Isak smiles.

“So...is this a date?”

“Maybe. Depends.”

“On what?”

“Do you want it to be a date?”

“A little bit.”

“Then it’s a little bit of a date.”

When they’re finally sitting in the cafe, each sipping their respective drinks Even has the distinct urge to lean forward and kiss him. He won’t, but the feeling is still there. Isak ordered a cappuccino, which is not at all what Even thought he would want, but he’ll gladly buy Isak anything to get him to go out with him.

“What’s really funny…” Isak trails off. “What’s really funny about your eyes is how they’re changing color all the time.”

“They are?” He asks and Isak nods, smiling. There’s a little bit of foam from his coffee on his upper lip. “Aren’t they just sort of...dirty-ish blue?”

“No, they’re…” Isak takes a deep breath. “They’re blue-green now, sitting here, but when you go on stage they get lighter.”

“I don’t think so.”

“No! I swear,” Isak protests. Even smiles. 

\---

They’ve been at Even’s house for about 5 minutes, and Isak has already found and befriended Zimmerman. 

“I don’t understand why my cat likes you better than he likes me.”

“I have that effect on cats.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you why you gave me shit for my cat’s name back at the beginning of the tour?”

“I...that wasn’t me giving you shit. I literally just wanted to see if you’d watched this TV show. One of the characters is named Zimmerfield and there’s a black kitten that’s also a shark. I thought it would ease the….tension if we had something in common.”

“Oh.”

“And you didn’t know the show because why would you? It’s like sci-fi and detectives.”

“We can watch it at some point….together?” Even hedges.

“I’d like that,” Isak says with a smile.

\---

“Even, honey. Aren’t you going to introduce us to your friend?”

He sits up slowly, opening his eyes. Isak is asleep next to him on the couch, his head on his chest. 

“Uh...yeah. I guess so, uh, sorry, this is Isak.” He shakes the younger boy’s shoulder lightly, and his eyes flutter open slowly. He jumps when he sees the two middle-aged women standing in the doorway, pushing himself up quickly, fixing his hair.

“Oh, hi,” he says, half stuttering, and looks at his watch. “We have to go. Sound check is in 15 minutes.”

“Ok, that’s chill. These are my moms, by the way,” Even says and Isak waves awkwardly.

“We were just napping. Not...doing stuff. Weird stuff. You know. Ok. Let’s go,” he stutters and Even nods. 

“Bye Mama.”

\---

He sitting in one of the dressing rooms when he hears Isak start to speak on stage during his set. It’s not his normal monolog, so Even tries to pay attention.

“I wrote this song today. It's, uh, maybe rough, but I really like it and I think you guys might like it too.” The crowd cheers and Isak laughs softly into the mic. “Cool. Here we go.” He starts to play a simple melody, and Even gets up, walking to the side of the stage where Mikael and the other boys are standing. He just makes out the bottom half of Isak’s face from this angle.

“I love the way you smile, I love how much you care, I love the way you go up to someone alone just sitting there.” Hmm. Is it about Jonas? Noora? “I love the way you wake up, I love the way you fall asleep. I love how you speak the words that mean so much to me.” Even would guess Joni but that wouldn’t make sense. She doesn’t speak.

“I love every shade of blue, I love spending my time with you.” Blue? There’s no way in hell this song is about him, is it? Was it a coincidence that Isak had pointed out his eyes earlier? How they change color in the stage lights. Isak wouldn’t write a song about Even, would he? “I love every imperfection. I love how you want my affection.” Every imperfection...Hope is starting to swell up in his chest.

“I love the way you brush your teeth, I love the way you comb your hair.” Even can't keep his smile at bay anymore. He feels out of breath. “I love the way you look back to make sure that I’m still there. I love the dimple in your cheeks, I love the twinkle in your eyes. I love how you take so long to say goodbye.” Even hopes he's not blushing. It feels like it. He doesn't have any doubt now - the song is about him. Isak wrote him a song.

There’s another chorus and Even can't tear his eyes from the stage. He can’t wait until Isak get off that stage. He can’t wait to kiss him.

“I love the way we first met,” Isak sings, Even feels his heart drop into his stomach. It’s like the floor just disappeared underneath his feet. Fuck. If the song’s about him why would Isak say that? He turns his head and the first thing he sees is like a wake-up call. Mikael. Isak wrote the fucking song for Mikael, and here Even was, head over heels for a guy who didn't like him back. He’s so...stupid for getting his hopes up. He should have never let himself believe that Isak could actually feel anything besides absence-of-annoyance for him. Mikael’s eyes aren't even blue, it doesn't make any fucking sense.

After the show Even tries to push through to Isak, but there’s too many people. He doesn't know what he wants to say but he needs to say whatever it is. Now.

“You just wrote that?” Even hears Magnus ask. “Fuck dude. Goals.” Even opens his mouth to call out to him, but Sana speaks up.

“Hate to break this up, but someone’s here for you Isak,” she says.

“Who?” Isak asks, still breathless from the adrenaline.

“Someone...uhhh...Jay-something, I think? They left a message with the crew and said it was ‘urgent,’” She says making air quotes and rolling her eyes slightly. Isak’s face falls slightly. 

“Isak has another boyfriend!” Noora shouts, reaching over to cuff Isak on the back of the head as he walks past. He gives her a smile but he seems distinctly...off.

“Have fun, honey!” Mikael calls out jokingly. Even rolls his eyes. 

“Bye guys,” Isak says softly as he walks out of the backstage area. 

Even never got to speak to him. Then again, what can he say?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Come On, Set the Tone Tumblr](https://comeonsetthetone-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Isak’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/6gLN1ZtFTX44jsKIDp5p49)!  
> [Even’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/3bPGjf7mBaM8pzz1JeZrnX)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> Send us any questions on the tumblr as well. We sometimes make announcements there too. :)


	9. ISAK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so as many of you anticipated this chapter gets a little dark (mostly just the first section up to the bold, long section divider (with end of first section written in it) with a few scattered mentions throughout). Please see the end notes for a more detailed warning. :)
> 
> We think we're going to do something cool on the tumblr soon, so keep an eye out for that! :)

“Why are you here?” Isak asks as he rounds the corner to find Jonathan leaning against a wall. As soon as Sana said “Jay-Something” he knew it had to be him.

“I wouldn’t give up the chance to see my favorite act, would I?” Jonathan replies, reaching out to pull Isak into his side. Isak squirms slightly, but when Jonathan’s grip tightens he stops moving. They walk over to a shiny black car and Jonathan opens the back door for Isak. He slides in. It smells new – like chemicals and leather. It makes Isak’s head hurt. Jonathan gets in the front and begins to drive. 

“Where are we going?” Isak asks hesitantly after a few moments of silence. 

“Why were you performing that song?” Jonathan asks, ignoring the question. “Who was it for?”

“Ummmm...I just…”

“Who are you fucking?”

“I don’t-”

“Jonas again? I know you used to fuck him.”

“I-” Isak can feel his stomach clench in anxiety. 

“What about those new boys? The Arabs? You fucking them too?”

“I don’t-” He stammers.

“But Even…” Jonathan whistles. “I bet you tried, you slut.”

“I don’t think this…” He doesn’t seem to have enough air to keep going.

“Shut up,” Jonathan snaps. Isak stops talking. They pull up to a red light and Isak tries to test the door to see if it’ll open. It doesn’t. The child locks are on. He takes a shaky deep breath. That doesn’t mean anything, does it? “After all I’ve done for you? Is this how you repay me?” He asks. Isak shakes his head vigorously. 

“I’m not...I don’t.” He can feel his breath coming faster. 

“Are you ok?” Jonathan asks after a few seconds, sounding almost guilty. Isak shakes his head. “I’m going to pull over.” Thank God. Maybe this whole thing has just been some misunderstanding. “I’m sorry I scared you, baby. We can get a room.”

“You don’t need to do that,” Isak says, panic leaking into his voice, but Jonathan has already turned into the parking lot of a motel. Isak wants to cry. He wants to scream.

“I’m coming back there,” he says after he’s parked the car under a lone light. It’s so dark – Isak almost forgot how late it was.

“No,” Isak says softly but Jonathan is already out of the car. He opens the door and slides in next to Isak, bringing him into a hug. Isak pushes at his chest but Jonathan just hushes him. 

“Shhhh...it’s ok. I’m here,” Jonathan says softly, rocking him slightly.

“Please,” Isak whispers, and Jonathan pulls him in closer. The door behind him is still open. If Isak can just push him hard enough. He sighs. It won’t work. He’s seen enough TV shows to know that. He feels so stupid. Getting into a car with someone who has shown unwanted sexual interest? He should have known. He closes his eyes.

Jonathan’s breath is hot on his face. He kisses with too much tongue and too much teeth. Isak thinks he’s broken the skin on his lip from how hard he bit down. His hands are possessive and controlling. He bites tiny bruises all down Isak’s neck and Isak just...sits there. He’s still panicking he thinks, but maybe he’s just...tuned out. He can’t tell how much time has passed. Has time passed? It must have. 

“Honey,” Jonathan says. Isak doesn’t respond. “I’m going to go in and get us a room so we can continue this. I’ll be right back.” Isak looks up. Jonathan closes the door behind him. He watches him walk into the building. The countdown begins. Isak tries the door that Jonathan just closed. Still child-locked. He climbs over the seat into the passenger seat and hits the lock. It opens. He climbs out and looks around for a second. He thinks he knows where he is. He starts to run even though he’s not sure where exactly he’s running to. 

Isak sprints until he’s sure he’s going to pass out. There’s no sign of the motel, Jonathan, or the new car anywhere, and he’s lost. He’s crying. There are little tears making trails on his cheeks, and he swipes at them with the back of his hand. He reaches for his phone, but it’s not there. That’s right. He came right from the show. No phones on stage (his own rule). He looks around wildly. A coffee shop? Seattle. Right. They’re in Seattle. He’s part of a tour. He knows...he can’t remember the phone numbers. He knows the venue. He can...ask.

**\----------END OF FIRST SECTION-----------------**

The shop is deserted when he walks in. He’s not even sure there’s an employee there at first. He stands in the middle of the brightly lit shop for a few moments, unsure of whether he should stay or go.  
“Hi! Sorry about the wait! What can I get for you?” Isak jumps slightly. “Oops! Didn’t mean to startle you.” There’s a lone employee probably a graduate student at the University working the graveyard shift. 

“Uhhhh…” Isak hadn’t thought that far ahead. He just knew that he was probably lost and needed a phone.

“Are you ok?” The tired looking man says and Isak finds himself shaking his head. 

“No...yeah I’m fine. Uh, green tea?” He asks. The barista nods.

“Do you need anything else? Water?” His eyes look concerned. 

“Um...Isak pats his pockets and pulls out a crumpled 5 and a couple of quarters. “What can I get for this?” He asks, feeling very much like a child. 

“That should do it. Are you sure you’re fine?”

“I...actually I’m a bit lost I think. Do you have a map or a phone I could use?”

“Sure...I’ll just get you your drink and then I can help you get back to where ever you need to go.”

Isak sighs and sits down. His heart's still racing and he can feel his legs shaking an alarming amount. He breathes in and out, carefully counting his breaths the way he read online would help. He was safe. 

Well...not really. The man who he had gauged as a mild inconvenience had reached a DANGER! threat level in his mind. He had thought that it was all harmless flirting. Isak was clearly far too young for Jonathan. He had thought that this was just the kind of thing that went on in the music world (and maybe it was...after all Noora and William were dating and he was the son of the Vice President of the label. Maybe this was just to be expected.).

“Where are you going back to?” The barista asks.

“Key Arena,” he replies shortly.

“Oh yeah? I saw a show there the other night. A lot of really talented kids. Well, not kids I guess.” He starts to wipe down the counter, and Isak shifts slightly in his seat.

“Yeah?” He says.

“Mmhmm. I like the uh...the girl group. It’s too bad they’re splitting up,” he remarks, beginning to fill up Isak’s cup with hot water. Isak frowns.

“They’re not,” he says after a second. The guy looks up, raising his eyebrows.

“I read in some magazine that one of the girls met with another label. To sign on the dotted line, if you know what I mean.” He turns around and finishes Isak’s drink and walks over to Isak’s table, handing it to him carefully. Isak takes a small sip, trying to stop the shaking in his hands. “But enough about that. You wanna get back to the arena?” Isak nods. “Okey dokey. So you’re gonna go out this door and take a right and just keep walking until you hit the intersection, where you’re gonna take a left. Then you walk down there for a bit until you get to 2nd Avenue. Keep walking and you should see it. Got that? Right, Left, 2nd Ave.” 

Isak nods. 

“You seem like a good kid,” the barista says. “What’s a good kid doing out so late?”

“Ummm...just had a late shift...and had to talk to my boss.”

“I get it. Nerve wracking.”

“Uh...yeah.”

“Hang out here for as long as you need, ok?”

“Yeah.”

\---

When he finally gets back it’s getting light out. He makes it to the buses just as Mikael gets back from his ‘I don’t want to lose fitness on tour’ early morning run. 

“Hey, babes. What’s up?” He asks as Isak stumbles over to him. Isak is so tired. His adrenaline wore off hours ago and now he just feels limp. “Did you just get back?” Mikael asks. Isak doesn’t answer and just pulls him into a tight hug, pressing his face into Mikael’s shoulder. “Were you drinking?” He asks curiously. 

“No,” he whispers, and Mikael runs a hand over his back.

“What’s wrong?”

“Everything. I don’t think I’m cut out for this,” Isak says and Mikael shakes his head. 

“You’re one of the best musicians...and...and one of the best people I know.”

“I’m...I’m scared,” Isak admits. 

“I’ll be here,” Mikael replies. Isak knows that he doesn’t really know what’s going on, but just being close to someone he trusts is soothing. “How was your boyfriend?” Mikael asks casually. 

“Not my boyfriend,” Isak replies. Mikael shrugs. 

“Ok. Friend with benefits then?” 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Isak says with a frown. Mikael seems to get it and stops asking. 

“We can...hang out at some point? Maybe play some Fifa?” Mikael suggests. Isak nods and they go back to hugging, Isak trying to make his heart stop pounding so hard.

“Hey, Mikael. Have you seen-” Even starts to ask. Isak pulls away from Mikael, looking up at the older boy. Even stops, his face immediately hardening. His eyes flit to Isak’s throat and the younger boy is immediately reminded of his hickeys. “Never mind. Bye Mikael,” he says, retreating back into the bus.

“There goes your man,” Mikael jokes and Isak tries to crack a smile. 

“Yeah. I guess so.”

“That song you wrote was high key romantic,” he says as he fluffs Isak’s hair. 

“You think?” Isak asks, laughing softly. 

“Yeah. You pretty much announced how hard you’re crushing.” 

“Really? Do you think...do you think he liked it?” Mikael looks incredulous.

“Definitely. Was that the first time you’d...told him?” He asks. 

“Ummm...I mean...we went on a sort of date yesterday? I think he knows.” 

“Awwwe! You’ve been holding out on me.”

“Not really. I’d have told you. Pinky swear.” They link their pinkies.

“What about...have you talked to him yet about the performance?” 

“Not really. I just...got called away.” Isak feels his good mood fading as quickly as it came.

“Shit. Right after you’d performed too. Do you think that he-”

“I don’t know what he thinks. Even?” Mikael nods. “He probably is a little...I don’t know. Maybe he’ll be confused? I mentioned his eyes a lot and he knows I like his eyes.” Isak hedges. Mikael smiles.

“Only one way to find out. Go talk to him.”

“Ok. I’ll...I’ll do that. Thanks.”

\---

**From: DON’T REPLY!**

_Where the fuck did you go?_

_Playing hard to get babe?_

_What a fucking tease..._

_When the others get tired of you, I’ll be here ;)_

\---

At least there’s one good thing in his life right now. One thing that isn’t just a train wreck. Even.

“Hey, how did you...how did you like the song?” He asks and Even looks up from his notebook. He’s sitting alone in the cabin of the bus the next morning, only a cup of coffee in front of him. They haven’t spoken since before the show last night, and Isak is desperate for his smile. If he can just see that smile, maybe things will be ok.

“Which one?” Even asks, straight-faced. Isak frowns, confused.

“The last one. The...the love one.” Even raises his eyebrows.

“You really want my opinion?” he asks.

“Of course I do.” There’s a long pause before Even speaks.

“Hated it. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m trying to work.” The words feel like a punch in the stomach. Even looks back down at his notebook.

Did Even not like him after all? He thought the song was pretty clear in his own feelings - he really put it out there. Or maybe the song was just awful. Noora liked it though. Noora was usually right about those things.

“Can I sit here?” Isak asks. Even looks up. 

“No. Go back to your boyfriend and fuck off. I’m sure he would love to suck on your neck.”

Fuck. Does Even know about Jonathan? Is that why he’s so upset? Does he think Isak cheated on him or something? Not that they were actually official or anything. He feels his face fall.

“That other thing...he doesn’t...I’m not...” How can he explain the situation with Jonathan? He doesn’t really know how to without sounding….silly. 

“I don’t want to hear it. Please.”

\---

**From: DON’T REPLY!**

_Miss you ;)_

_See you soon love_

_I can’t wait._

\---

“Jonas?” Isak asks.

“Hey man. Uhhh...so Jonathan called me and said you had some killer songs for me? I was thinking we could work on them now?” Jonas asks. Isak’s stomach sinks. He’d been content with just going and taking a shower and then sleeping until he was forced to sing. Now all of those plans are being pushed back and he has to let go of some of his favorite work. 

“Yeah. I guess,” Isak says and Jonas looks at him in concern. 

“Are you good?”

“Fine.”  
“Great...so I was thinking...” Isak tunes out. 

\---

**From: DON’T REPLY!**

_I keep thinking about you under me._

_You make the sweetest sounds._

_You’re fucking them right now, aren’t you? All those boys?_

_You just remember who you really belong to._

\---  
Isak is exhausted. His throat feels tight like he’s about to cry. His skin feels scratchy and raw from his shower. He’s curled in bed, trying to watch a movie.

The almost inexplicable loss of Even is hitting him hard. He wants to rest his cheek against Even’s chest and feel his muffled heartbeat and count the breaths they take. Be loved by someone he wants to love him.

But he’s alone. Even Joni is nowhere to be found. She probably smelled Jonathan on him and left.

He falls asleep and wakes up in a cold sweat from a nightmare he can’t remember. His heart is pounding and he can’t catch his breath. There’s a soft mewing from the aisle and he slides open the curtain separating his bunk from the rest of the world. Immediately, Joni jumps up onto the mattress, nuzzling him. He rubs her behind the ear and she purrs gently.

“Why is Even mad at me?” He whispers, and Joni mews. “I think it might be because of-” 

“Hiss!” Joni says and it’s so little that it’s enough to make Isak laugh. 

“Ok. I won’t talk about it.”

It’s only a few minutes before he’s fallen back asleep, still restless.

\---

“What’s wrong?” Isak asks as he walks into the Balloon Squad’s dressing room. He’d been looking all over for the other acts. Usually, they all walked over from the buses together, but no one had really talked to him today and he hadn’t been feeling up to sound check. “You guys didn’t leave a note,” he says. 

“Isak. Now is really not the time,” Eskild says sharply. He stops and tilts his head. Mikael is surrounded by members of the Balloon Squad and BL!SS. He looks like he’d been crying and Elias is wrapped around him protectively.

“What’s going on?” He asks again. Nobody answers for few moments and the only sounds are Elias’ soft murmurs into Mikael’s ear. Even’s there too, an arm around Mikael’s shoulders.

“Mikael got felt up by some pervy guy from the crew,” Adam finally answers. Isak’s stomach sinks. 

“It’s so sick,” Chris says. “I can’t believe someone would do that to him.”

“I can’t believe we’d been traveling with him for so long. He seemed so nice,” Eva says.

“It’s so fucked up,” Sana says, shaking her head.

“Yeah,” Isak adds softly. 

“He didn’t try this on you, did he?” Jonas asks softly from his spot next to Isak. His eyebrows are crinkled in concern. Is Isak’s discomfort showing on his face?

“No! No...just because I’m gay, it doesn’t mean that the guys are falling over themselves to get me,” Isak says in what he hopes is a teasing voice. Jonas frowns.

“What happened to Mikael was assault,” he says stonily and Isak immediately backtracks. 

“No! I know that! I was just...maybe he wasn’t interested in me?” He tries and Jonas nods before smiling slightly. 

“Looks like you don’t have that much trouble with the guys, though,” he says and Isak’s hand flies up to his neck. Fuck, his hickeys.

“Oh. Yeah,” he replies. Eskild starts to talk about how the crew member’s been fired, but Isak’s mind is somewhere else.

They’re defending Mikael. They are protecting him. But...Mikael hadn’t lead on the crew member for years. That crew member hadn’t helped Mikael’s career. They were all saying how disgusting it was. They would definitely think that Isak was disgusting. He won’t say anything. Jonathan was creepy but it wasn’t like Isak wasn’t...doing anything, right? There had to be a reason. 

He’s never really told Jonathan no, does that make it...his own fault? He doesn’t know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first section of the chapter (up to the bolded, long section divider with end of first section written in it) deals with Isak getting trapped with Jonathan (cornered in a car). There's some uncomfortable touching/biting and Isak escapes. He receives some threatening texts throughout the chapter (like some he got in the past). He blames himself (but is understanding when Mikael is upset for a similar reason). 
> 
> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Come On, Set the Tone Tumblr](https://comeonsetthetone-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Isak’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/6gLN1ZtFTX44jsKIDp5p49)!  
> [Even’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/3bPGjf7mBaM8pzz1JeZrnX)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> Send us any questions on the tumblr as well. We sometimes make announcements there too. :)


	10. EVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! Also if you missed it [Drabble Fest](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask) is happening on poeandbeaux!!!

Isak hasn’t been around much and Even isn’t sure how he feels about that. If you’d asked him earlier in the week, he would have been pleased – he didn’t have to do the difficult work of moving away from someone he really likes (has a stupid crush on). Now that he’s actually experiencing the split, however, he isn’t so sure. Sure, he was hurt by Isak. He was pretty sure Isak knew how he felt too, which made it more frustrating - he trusted Isak and he just...led him on? But that’s beside the point.

He thought that there was something and that was obviously just in his head. But now...Isak hasn’t talked to him. He’s gone looking but anytime he’s around on the buses, Isak is nowhere to be found. He’d even hung out with Joni (of all cats!) without Isak the other day. A month ago, that would never have happened. 

He’s ready to forget all this romantic stuff if he has to - if Isak likes Mikael or whatever, it doesn’t matter. That’s what he keeps telling himself, at least. It doesn’t matter. They can still be friends. He needs them to be friends. At least.

But he’ll be honest, that rejection hurt. He’d taken down so many of his barriers and it left him...completely raw. Completely vulnerable. And fuck, it hurt so bad to see Isak with someone else. He, selfishly, stupidly, wanted Isak to feel some tiny fraction of that. Now though, he doesn’t care. It doesn’t matter. Isak can walk all over him just as long as Even gets to be around him.

Even’s been asking around. He’s disappointed? Relieved? Worried.

Isak hasn’t just been avoiding him. He’s been avoiding everyone. On one hand, that means he’s not special. Isak hasn’t focused his energy specifically on targeting him and ignoring only him. On the other, Isak isn’t so mad at him that he can’t bear to be in the same room as him. This means that whatever Even had done when he was really pissed off and not thinking clearly about what his actions meant for his...friendship with Isak didn’t necessarily ruin everything. This leaves him with...worried. He is worried. Isak has withdrawn from everyone and he isn’t sure why. Nobody is. 

“I thought I saw him hanging out with Vilde earlier? Maybe that was Magnus, actually.” Chris had said with a shrug. 

“I haven’t seen him in a while. He said we could do face masks, but he never showed up? I thought I saw him with Mahdi playing basketball, though.” Vilde seemed mad.

“I haven’t seen him for a while. Not since we played basketball last week. I thought he was hanging out with Jonas a lot more recently?” Mahdi said.

“I’m worried about him. I haven’t seen him this low for a while. I talked to him a bit the other day but he ran off. He said something about finding the Balloon Squad? He was probably looking for Mikael,” Jonas adds, looking up from the deck of his skateboard.

Mikael hadn’t seen him beyond shows and sound checks for a few days (“It’s weird man. Maybe he’s with a guy?”) but had no other information. 

“Joni?” Even couldn’t believe he was resorting to this. Here he is crouched on the floor talking to a kitten as though she’s human. “Hi. I’m talking to you,” he tries as she starts to scamper away. “Wait! I have questions!”

“Are you talking to my cat?” Isak’s voice asks. Even looks up. He’s is standing in the doorway of the living area, smirking slightly, leaning against the wall. 

“Uhhh…”

“That’s really weird. Wouldn’t you agree, Joni?” Isak asks and Even can’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. 

“I guess it is.”

“What questions do you have for her?” He asks, scooping her up.

“Actually...I was just looking for you,” Even says and Isak’s smile doesn’t drop, but his eyes do lose a bit of their crinkle. 

“Why?” He asks sharply. “Sorry,” he immediately apologizes. 

“I...I just wanted to apologize for the other day. I was frustrated with my own music and took it out on yours. It was a good song and I was rude.” Isak takes a deep breath.

“Ok…”

“How are you? Ok?”

“I guess. Tired. Are you...also tired?” Even knows what the younger boy is asking. It almost makes him mad.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Do you?” He asks, and Isak’s face falls.

“Ummm...I guess not. I just thought that...I guess I...nevermind,” he says, turning to walk away. 

“Wait!” Even says before he can stop himself. Isak jumps slightly before turning around. “We could sit out here and watch something?” Isak smiles slightly.

“That sounds really nice.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

\---

“What the fuck is she doing?” Sana says marching up to Even the next night. He looks up from his phone, his Instagram feed momentarily abandoned. 

“Who is doing what?” He asks. Sana rolls her eyes. 

“Your ex. That...that...ugghhh.” She sets her jaw.

“Oh shit,” Even says, more alert. “What did she do?” He asks. Sana shakes her head, still breathing heavily in anger. 

“She is poaching my girls. She is trying to take Vilde and I can’t...I can’t deal with that.” She crosses her arms across her chest.

“Fuck.” He sighs, rubbing his eyes.

“And now Vilde is upset because she thinks Noora wants to get rid of her. Because that’s what they told her. Did you know that?”

“Fuck, fuck.” He shakes his head.

“Yeah. It’s a mess. I have Eva mad at me because she thought I was in on it, Noora is...MIA and Chris is uncomfortable.”

“I...why would she do that?”

“She wants to start a new group with people she’s worked with before. Apparently. You know, Sara, Ingrid, that blonde one who looks a lot older than everyone but is actually our age.”

“Mari?”

“That’s the one.”

“And Vilde apparently,” he says and Sana nods solemnly. 

“So…”

“So…,” he echoes.

“Can you help me...I don’t know, burn them to the ground?” She asks. Even shrugs. Honestly, he’d love nothing more than to burn Sonja to the ground for what she did to him. He shouldn’t, he knows that, but it doesn’t change the fact he is still holding onto all this anger.

“Isak might be your guy for that? He seems like the...strategy type.”

“You’re right, but you have the connections.”

“I’ll talk to Sonja. Don’t worry. Just get all the girls together and explain that Sonja is...She’s…” He tries to find the right words. “She wants to be in control.”

“It’s not her fucking place!”

“I know, I know.”

\---

Mikael is...Mikael is ok, at least that’s what Even thinks. What Even hopes. Everyone is still protective of him and Isak...Isak is very close to him. They’re very touchy. Even has a million question and a million jokes none of which seem appropriate based on the circumstances. Some of the other acts, however, aren’t so...tactful. 

“This is will be what your honeymoon is like or something, right?” Magnus says as he walks past where Isak and Mikael are leaning on each other playing Fifa. 

“Ha ha,” Isak says loudly and Mikael sticks his tongue out at Magnus.

“No but really?” Magnus asks flopping down next to Mikael and trying to take his controller. Even winces as Mikael pushes Magnus’ face away and grabs his controller back. He gets up and flops down next to Even. 

“I’ll play winner,” he says. Before he’s even managed to finish, both Isak and Mikael are shaking their heads. 

“Nope!”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Whyyyy?” Magnus draws out and Isak rolls his eyes.

“You complain the entire time if you’re losing and cheat the entire time if you’re winning.”

“Plus this is Isak and my tournament. Find your own.”

“Gaaaahhh. Fuck. Fine. Catch you later,” Magnus says hefting himself off of the couch.

And Magnus isn’t the only one. 

“You should go out with us sometime!” Eva says brightly one night after a show.

“Yeah, tomorrow!” Vilde says excitedly. “We were going to go out to lunch and maybe walk around a park or something!”

“It could be a double date!” Eva says and Mikael smiles. 

“We’ll see. It sounds nice,” he says.

They don’t go and all Eva said in explanation was Mikael said some other time. He’s probably fine. All the rumors about him and Isak have created this odd distance between them. Even’s not feuding with Mikael, they’re just...not as close. Even hates that. He knows Mikael must be hurting after what happened with the guy from the crew, he just wishes he could help him.

In one of the moments Mikael’s not with Isak - which are few and far between - Even sits down next to him on the couch backstage. Mikael’s working on his third (fourth?) donut from the craft services table, but Even just has his usual coffee (no cream because dairy is strictly forbidden the 6 hours leading up to the show, but Even doesn’t care).

“How are you?” Even asks, and Mikael shrugs.

“Isak’s been helping a lot. It’s good to have a friend like that.” The words hurt as they bang around in Even’s mind, but he tries not to let it show on his face.

“You guys are…” Even stops himself. “It’s good. That’s good you have him.” He hopes the disappointment isn’t carrying over into his voice. He needs to be supportive. This isn’t about him. This is about Mikael.

“Mmm,” Mikael hums in response. “I wanna ask you something and I want you to be honest.”

“Uh...yeah, of course.” The possibilities rush through Even’s head. Is Even psycho? Is Even in love with Isak?

“Are you ok? Like, are you doing alright?” That wasn’t what Even was expecting. He shifts in his seat. Takes a sip of his coffee. It’s sort of burnt but he doesn’t care.

“In what way?” He asks and Mikael pokes him in the chest, teasing.

“Like...you went to the hospital last week. You haven’t been practicing riffs. You haven’t really talked to me or the guys. Then there was that thing with Sonja spreading rumors. And you were starting to like Isak but then...you just stopped. I don’t know.”

“I’m alright. Really, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,” he tries to reassure. Mikael doesn’t look convinced.

“If you say so…” Mikael trails off.

“The real question should be if you’re ok. Are you?”

“With the thing with the crew guy?” Even nods. “Still sort of shaken up. All of my interactions with LGBT+ people have been overwhelmingly positive. It was...hard to realize that just because most people are good, not all are? I don’t know. I might be reading too far into this.”

“No, I understand.”

“I mean...Eskild sat me down and has made me talk to him like five times or something? He kept calling himself my guru? I don’t know. But even so, there’s still a...feeling. Like...unease.” Mikael frowns but smiles when Even rests a hand on his shoulder. “Thanks. I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you too.”

\---

“Welcome back, Seattle to Movin 92.5! In just a moment we’ll be live on the air with the headliners of the tour everyone’s talking about, Heartbreaker. There are only two shows left at the Key Arena but we’ve got a prize for one lucky caller - four front row seats to tonight’s show! Make sure you log in on our website for lots of other fabulous prizes and live-streamed videos of all of our interviews! Have you done that yet? Go on! Do it! Before we get give away four front row tickets to the hottest show of the year, the Heartbreaker tour, let’s meet our guests. First, we have Jones winning artist Isak Valtersen. One of his singles, Turn Up, was last year’s Movin 92.5 Jam of the Summer. Next, we have the girls of BL!SS, whose album is predicted to win album of the year at the Jones Awards this fall. Last, we have bad boy Even Bech Næshiem, who’s currently swimming in scandal. Stay tuned!” The DJ finishes his hyper-enthusiastic introduction and slips off his headphones. A voice says they’re ‘all clear.’

“Ok. So when we get back from the break I’ll start asking some of the questions. I see you’ve given me a bit of freedom but it will all be pretty basic stuff.”

“Alright. That sounds good, right?” Sana says and they all nod. The host gives them a quick 3...2...1...

“And we’re back with Isak, Even and BL!SS joining us from the Heartbreaker tour! How’re you guys doing?”

“We’re doing pretty well,” Chris says.

“Yeah. This entire tour has been a blast!” Eva says. Even laughs quietly to himself. For Eva, yes, the tour has been a blast - getting wasted, making out with Vilde.

“It’s been great getting to meet a ton of our fans and personally thank so many of the people who have changed our lives!” Vilde says. She exchanges a look with Eva. “And...it’s been nice to get to know my tourmates better.”

“That’s great! Everyone has loved meeting you as well!” The DJ says, ignoring her second thought.

“Almost everyone,” Eva says with a smile and Vilde rolls her eyes. 

“Fine! There was an incident where a fan, I think her name was Michaela? She tried to get me to kiss her baby,” Vilde starts.

"Needless to say, we found the one person who didn't enjoy meeting us!" Eva says.

"Lots of tears," Vilde says shaking her head. 

“It’s been really nice to see your journey through social media. Some of your posts are...hysterical. Who’s the best at social media?”

“Definitely Even!” Sana says with a smile. 

“Yeah! Have you seen it? It’s all black and white. It’s very aesthetic,” Isak says. 

“Speaking of social media, which one of you is most addicted to your phone?” He asks and Isak sheepishly raises his hand when everyone points at him. “Oh, Isak? Really?” 

“Yeah...no lie. I think...I’m mostly taking pictures of my cat,” he says with a laugh. 

“Really?!”

“Yeah. He’s an old cat lady,” Chris jokes. Isak laughs.

“His cat is the cutest. I can’t even,” Vilde says.

“I’m always stealing her. I love the little fluffball.” Even says with a smile. 

“That’s adorable. Speaking of adorable...do any of you have boyfriends or girlfriends?” Everyone shakes their heads. Even’s stomach sinks. He’d forgotten that Eva and Vilde weren’t allowed to be out - not that he was even sure they were official yet, but that’s beside the point. Sana and Yousef had agreed to keep their relationship a bit more private until they were more sure about it. “So what do you look for in a boyfriend or girlfriend?” He asks tilting his head towards Isak and Even for the last part. 

“What I look for in a boyfriend?” Isak starts and the DJ nods, catching his mistake. “Someone who is funny and passionate. We have to share interests. They definitely have to be ok with cats!” He ends jokingly. He looks sort of uncomfortable, Even realizes. Maybe he wishes Mikael was here.

“Yeah! Date Cat Lady Isak,” Eva jokes.

“Oh no! He’s the hug every cat lady!” Chris exclaims and Isak groans. 

“No! No one is going to want to date me now!”

“I think the most important thing in dating is mutual respect,” Sana says. “And cooking for me. That’s the other thing.”

“Respect first, cooking second. You heard it here first fellas!” The DJ says. 

“I just am living my life!” Chris says. “I don’t need no man, but ideally they’d be well muscled, blonde, tall, and uhhhh...nice!”

“Sounds like you’re just describing Even! I’m sure there’s some flirtation there, hmm? I’m sure Even has been with some of you girls?”

“I am a flirty person, but no. We’re more like...cousins,” Even says.

“Not even a kiss?”

“Maybe one kiss,” Even allows.

“Ah! You can’t leave us there!”

“A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.”

“Fair enough. On to more professional matters, I suppose. What do you think has been the best thing about performing?” The DJ asks.

“There’s just something more personal about getting to perform live. Every night is a new experience and every night a new group of people gets to share in what you love to share,” Even says with a smile. 

“I have to agree with that completely,” Sana starts, “It’s one thing getting to make your art available to the world, and another thing to get to connect with people face-to-face. It’s a step above because you get to see in real time their emotions as they’re experiencing yours.” The DJ nods.

“Does it ever get tough with your hijab? Have you ever resented your region?” Sana scoffs. Even frowns.

“That’s a pretty rude question,” she says, trying hard to keep the venom out of her voice. She’s received strict instructions from Eskild to be ‘less rude.’

“Alright. If you don’t want to answer that’s ok,” the DJ says, raising his hands up in defense. Sana glares.

“No, I’ve never resented my religion. Ok?” She snaps. He shrugs.

“Alright. That’s fine.”

“My religion is something that I am proud of. It guides me and helps me be a more moral and good person.”

“We all love her wisdom!” Vilde says brightly. “She likes to say her hijab is magic!”

“It is,” Sana says, raising an eyebrow, almost daring Vilde to argue.

“Personally, I think it’s pretty rude to question her like that,” Even says, and Sana gives him a little smile before going back to her default stoicism.

“Well, Even, how have you been handling the controversy over your mental health? There was a report that you suffer from psychosis of some kind?” Even feels his face flush.

“I’d really prefer not to talk about that,” he manages to get out. Everyone else is silent. Can’t one of them say something?

“Understandable, but really Even, tell us,” the DJ urges.

“No,” Even says.

“Look, you don’t need to be nervous,” the DJ says, leaning forward. 

“Just leave him alone, ok?” Isak snaps.

“Woah there!”

“I think we might be done here?” Eva suggests. 

“Yeah. I think you’re right. It was great talking to you! Remember to stay tuned as we give away four front row tickets to the Heartbreaker tour! The hottest tour of the year is here for only one more show!”

\---

“Have you guys been doing this the entire time we’ve been on tour?” 

“Yeah,” Linn replies. 

“Fuck. That’s tough,” Magnus says loudly. Eskild’s eyes widen slightly. 

“There will be small humans here soon! You people need to tone down the swearing and act like adults. Except for you Isak. You’re still in our target demographic,” he says with a smile.

“Fuck off,” Isak says shaking his head. Eskild smile drops and he looks at Isak in concern. 

“Are you ok? I...I can stop teasing if it’s...hurting?” Eskild offers. 

“No, it’s fine. I’m fine. Everything is good,” Isak says quickly.

“Ok...If you’re sure,” Eskild replies tentatively. Even feels like he’s intruding on some sort of moment. Looking around, he can see that many of the others must feel the same way. Noora is shifting slightly and fixing her already perfectly arranged hair. Vilde is frowning and looking over at Eva. The only one who seems unaffected is Magnus, but then again, he’s unswayed by most things.

“We’re gonna play your song today. Music Box,” Linn says.

“It’s Magic Box, Linn,” Eskild corrects. She rolls her eyes. She’s in a full green ensemble, complete with green eyeshadow and lipstick, while Noora is in red and Eskild is in blue. There was a debacle a while back to try and get Linn to wear yellow so they’d be primary colors, but she had said ‘fuck no you motherfuckers,’ which the others had taken as a subtle sign that she was uninterested. 

“Noora sounds so pretty singing it,” she says, adjusting one of the dials on the keyboard.

“Your harmony is lovely, Linn. You’re a lovely harmonist.”

A few minutes later, the group is seated toward the back of the theater, facing an empty stage. Children and their parents have started to pour in, filling up the rows in front of them.

Isak is next to Mikael. They’re holding hands, Isak’s head resting on Mikael’s shoulder. Even tries not to look.

By the time the show is about to start, the small venue is packed. Even has to admit he’s incredibly excited to hear Noora in this context. He’s never heard any of her...Wobbles music before, so this will likely be an entertaining hour.

They start off with a song called “Bumblebee” which Noora has slipped their names into, “I was sitting in my garden when I saw a bumblebee. He said his name was Isak.” There’s one about a fruit salad, then one that Even really likes called “In the Clouds” where Noora asks if the clouds will “make a rainbow just for me?”

The last song is called “Magic Box,” which Even knows was written by Isak. It’s absolutely gorgeous. Even’s about to lean over and compliment him but he stops when he sees Isak is asleep on Mikael’s shoulder.

As soon as the show is over, the group rushes backstage. There’s a man there Even doesn’t recognize in a dark hoodie. Noora rushes into his arms. He kisses her almost aggressively, his hands in her hair.

“William, what are you doing here?” Eskild finally asks, distaste masked poorly. Noora pulls back, smiling. William licks his lips.

“Here for my girl.”

\---

“So. How are things with Isak?” Even asks, and Mikael shrugs.

“I think something bad is up with him. I don’t know what.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I can just tell.”

“I guess that happens when you get close to someone.”

“You're close to him,” Mikael says softly and Even laughs bitterly.

“Not as close as you,” he says. 

“I really doubt that,” Mikael says and Even rolls his eyes. “Maybe close in a different way,” he tries and Even huffs out a laugh. 

“Yeah. Really different.”

“He’s such a nice guy. I really hate that he’s not doing well.”

“I’ll bet.”

“He’s so sweet and cares too deeply. I don’t want to see him get hurt,” Mikael says looking over at Even.

“He’s so sweet? Does that mean he lets you fuck him without a condom or something?”

“Wait. Wait...Even. Bro,” Mikael says shaking his head slightly, a strange look crossing his face. 

“What?” Even says.

“That’s not...like ewww. He’s my brother or something.”

“Kinky.”

“No. Ew! Stop! Did you think...did you think there was something...between Isak and me?”

“Isn’t there?”

“No! He’s...I’m looking for something else, I guess.”

“But he wrote that song for you?” Even asks. Mikael tilts his head slightly. 

“What? But...that...that song that Isak wrote…”

“What about it?” Even sighs. 

“It’s...well...it’s about you.”

“Don’t say that if it’s not true.”

“He even mentioned that shitty first time you met. How could you...how could you not know? He practically sang ‘I love a guy who’s name starts with E and ends with VEN.’ Christ. How could you not know?”

“I just...why would he like me?”

“Are you serious?” Mikael asks. Even raises an eyebrow and Mikael sighs. “You’re great. Like really awesome. I...I might not understand exactly how, but somehow despite your assholery Isak likes you.”

“Assholery?”

“Yeah. But he still likes you. A lot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Come On, Set the Tone Tumblr](https://comeonsetthetone-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Isak’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/6gLN1ZtFTX44jsKIDp5p49)!  
> [Even’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/3bPGjf7mBaM8pzz1JeZrnX)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> Send us any questions on the tumblr as well. We sometimes make announcements there too. :)


	11. ISAK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so because this is an Isak chapter, there is some Jonathan mention. The section that involves him starts with his phone ringing. It's pretty mild, but we're describing it in the end notes if you feel the need to check. :)
> 
> Thanks for being so excited to read this, everyone!!! :)

“He’s such an ass,” Isak says for what feels like the 100th time. “He just shows up and thinks he can disrupt the entire tour for Noora? Fuck that.”

“Honestly, I don’t like him, but Noora wouldn’t date someone who was truly a piece of shit,” Eva comments, and Vilde frowns.

“I think he’s psycho,” she remarks, and Eva raises her eyebrows.

“Good people make bad choices all the time,” Isak says. “Just because Noora is great doesn’t mean he’s great too.”

“I agree. She’s a completely different person when he’s around,” Sana comments, and Isak nods. They’re seated on the couches toward the back of the bus, eating their dinner/lunch before sound check. Noora, who’s usually helping on stage or with wardrobe, is out. With William. And Even is...where is Even? He said something about his family, but Isak thinks it might just be a way to avoid him.

Though Even says he’s not upset, Isak can tell that something is wrong. Wrong with their relationship. He doesn't know what. He’s not sure he really wants to find out.

“I don’t get it,” Vilde says. “Noora is always talking about feminism and dressing for yourself and experiencing the world in a way that makes you proud to be yourself…” She trails off and the other girls look at her. She looks up from her pizza. “I listen when she talks. I do! It’s just that she seems so set on ignoring her own advice.”

“Yeah,” Eva sighs. “I used to think that she was in love. Now it seems like she’s brainwashed.”

“We’d know. She would complain a lot less. I think she’s just trying to prove a point,” Chris says through a mouthful of her sandwich. “We gave her so much shit early on that she feels like she has to see it through.”

“Good point,” Eva says. “Maybe we could...gently bring it up?”

“How? ‘Oh, Noora, sorry, but your boyfriend is a dick and we all dislike him’,” Chris says. Vilde giggles.

“Also he totally tried to get with Vilde before he was with Noora,” Sana says, shaking her head. 

“It’s all weird,” Vilde says, looking back down at her food.

“Have you ever thought…” Isak trails off. He’s second guessing himself.

“What?” Eva asks. 

“Have you ever thought that maybe she’s sleeping with him because she feels...obligated or something?” The girls all look a mixture of confused and offended.

“What do you mean?” Vilde asks, tilting her head. Sana looks borderline angry.

“Like he _is_ related to her boss. Maybe she’s...I don’t know…” he tries to rephrase. Noora’s situation isn’t like what he...has...with Jonathan, but it could be similar, couldn’t it? He’s not sure how to get the thought across without revealing more than he wants to.

“What? No. She’d never sleep her way into a promotion. Why would you say that?” Sana asks.

“That’s not what I mean. I don’t know. I don’t think she would either...maybe she feels like she’s being...grateful or something? Or she’s afraid if she dumps him she’ll get fired? It was just a thought. I don’t get the William hype at all.”

“Yeah….I don’t think she’s being pressured or anything. We’ll make sure, though,” Eva says. 

\---

The show that night is exhausting. They’d spent the day watching the Wobbles and doing press, so they went into their sets less than refreshed. Soundcheck had gone well, but it wasn’t necessarily a matter of whether the show would go well, and more a matter of...how the crowd would interpret their lackluster banter. Isak had decided to switch up his set again after the feedback he’d gotten from social media. All of his fans seemed delighted that he’d been willing to play something that he didn’t usually play, so after some consideration, he was back at it. 

“This is uh, a song I wrote that I really love and I hope you like it too. [ It’s called Funny ](https://open.spotify.com/track/7IpvrSlRGGNQNFNhxwDAPe).” He strums the guitar slowly. “It’s so easy to lose all the meaning of who you are,” he sings. “What is your definition of a true superstar?”

Of all the songs off his new (rejected) album, he sees why the label didn’t like this one. It’s frankly pretty fair for them to hate it - most of it is a direct drag of the label, but he doesn’t care tonight. He feels like he has almost nothing left to lose. They won’t drop him from the tour - he’s the one attracting most of the crowds. He doesn’t even really want to work for Starmark anymore, would getting fired be so bad? Well, yes, it would be. If he loses his income things will not go well. So, maybe he doesn’t want to get fired - definitely not - but can they really do anything worse than they’ve already done? Trashed album, creepy boss - it’s all pretty awful already.

Not to mention Even seems intent on avoiding him.

So, he’ll sing the song tonight.

“Cause the same ones who chose you are the same ones that own you. The same thing that built you is the same thing that kills you,” he sings. The only bad thing about straying from the set is the fact that the house band doesn’t know his originals, so he’s on his own with his guitar. “Funny how it all goes around.”

\----

His phone rings again. The screen reads DON’T ANSWER. So, he doesn’t. Again. The cycle ends and a few seconds later starts again.

This has been going on for almost an hour. He’s put his phone on silent. He’s tried reading, watching TV...pretty much everything. He’d even left his bunk to get some water, but when he came back, his phone was still going off. He’s tempted to pick up, just to get it to stop. He takes a deep breath and hesitates. He picks up the phone, bracing himself.

“Hi,” he says, trying to make his voice sound confident. Collected.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Isak swallows hard.

“Sound check. Show. The Wobbles. Soundcheck. The show,” he carefully lists everything he’d done since the car. “That’s what I’ve been doing.”

“You better have been. Look, baby, you're starting to piss me off. At first, it was cute, now I'm pissed.”

“I'm sorry,” Isak mumbles.

“I can fuck anybody I want. Even, for example. Some damaged fucking goods, but that always means they’re good in bed. Fucking screamers,” Jonathan says, laughing, and Isak almost chokes.

“Have you done anything to him? He doesn't even work for the label,” he stutters. Is that why Even’s been so quiet? Or...is Jonathan bluffing?

“No, I haven’t done shit. And he doesn't have to work for the fucking label. He's turned down every fucking contract we've given him. Little asshole.” Isak takes a deep breath. Ok, so Even’s safe. That’s good.

“Don't mess with him.”

“I don't have to mess with anyone if you stop being such a cock tease.”

“I'm not -” He tries weakly, but Jonathan cuts him off.

“Save it. Arabs aren't my type, that's the only reason those balloon boys aren't up for grabs. I could change my mind though. The little one is sweet. Mikael?” Again, Isak’s heart almost stops.

“Don't do anything with them. Don't touch them.”

“Who? Your fuck buddies? I'm not stupid.”

“You can't do this.” He’s trying to sound forceful.

“What? You don't like it?” Silence. The sarcastic tone lingers in the dead air. “Then why haven't you said anything? Why haven't you spoken up?” Isak doesn’t have an answer. “You love it, baby. You love me. You want my cock as much as I want to fuck you.”

“I don't.”

“Yes, you do. And you're gonna get it. I'm coming to your show tomorrow night. And we’re gonna do everything.”

“I’m…” Isak swallows hard. How can he stop this? What can he do? “I…”

“I know you’re excited. I’ll see you. And wear those skinny jeans.” Isak stutters for a moment before he lands on a response.

“Ok.”

“Great. Bye baby.” The line goes dead and Isak can’t stop the flood of tears that start to fall.

\----

“Hey there, buddy,” Jonas says, slinging an arm over Isak’s shoulder. “We’re all going to hang out a bit before we call it a night. Do you want to chill?”

“Uhhh...sure. I guess. We don’t have to be up early, right?” Isak asks and Jonas laughs. Isak really hopes nobody can tell he’s been crying. He figures the only way to get all this off his mind is to join some sort of group hangout.

“Early? Nah...but even so, live a little Isak. You’re young. You’ll have plenty of time to sleep later.”

“Ok. I would have said yes anyways…” Isak tries to defend. He doesn’t want to get the reputation of someone who doesn’t like hanging out with people (even if it’s a little true...just a tad). 

“Magnus has a fire going, we’re all jamming. C’mon,” Jonas says, and Isak follows his lead. Magnus, Mahdi, and the balloon boys are seated around a tiny, inexplicable, bonfire. Jonas pulls over two more chairs and they sit down. 

“Hey! Sick set tonight, man. Nice stuff,” Elias comments, and Isak smiles. The other boys nod.

“Thanks.”

“I don’t think this hot dog is cooking,” Mutta says, pulling what looks like one of Noora’s knitting needles out of the mediocre flames. 

“Nah, bro. Looks raw,” Elias says, poking the still-pink piece of meat. Where did Mutta even get a raw hotdog at midnight?

“Hey, Magnus! Is this...legal?” Isak asks, shifting in his seat. Jonas laughs.

“They haven’t caught me yet!” He shouts, brandishing the tongs (salad tongs?) he was using to adjust the wood. Isak holds up his hands in surrender.

“I believe you! No evidence? Tend the fire, my man!” He says quickly.

“Just call me Hestia!” Magnus replies excitedly. Isak squints his eyes, but nods. Magnus frowns. “Hestia. The goddess of the hearth. Read some fucking books, man.”

“I know who she is...I’m just trying to...reconcile her with...this thing I’m looking at right now.”

“Oi. Fuck off. I am a beast at campfire tending.”

“Are we gonna jam or are we gonna sit around talking about hot dogs and Greece?” Jonas asks. He picks up his guitar. Mahdi rolls his eyes.

“If you’re gonna write some shit about like, I don’t know, feelings or something I’m gonna leave.”

“Feelings are what songs are about,” Jonas says.

“Oh my god. Guys. I have an idea,” Magnus says, sitting up straight. He’s grinning.

“Yes?” Elias asks. Magnus nods.

“Ok. So. Isak is a great rapper-”

“Thank you,” Isak says taking a small bow still sitting in the awkward plastic chair.

“We should write a rap. Like, as a group. That’ll be fun, right?”

“Like an improv game?” Mikael asks. Magnus nods, pointing at her.

“Like, for example, four beat repetition.” Jonas plays two notes, back and forth. “Then something at the fourth beat like…”

“Let’s just start,” Elias says, waving a hand, and the guys start to rhythmically stomp their feet. Isak takes a deep breath, trying to think of something to say.

“You a loser?” He asks and means to go on, but Magnus pipes up.

“Nope!” Isak laughs but keeps going.

“Winner?”

“Yup!” Magnus says, and they all laugh.

“Starvin?” Isak asks, knowing where he’s going now. The pattern is pretty simple to follow.

“Nope,” they all say.

“Dinner?”

“Yup!”

“Ya sell dope?”

“Nope.”

“Are you cleaner than a bar of Dove soap?” More laughter.

“Yup.”

“Scared of the dark?”

“Nope.”

“Have money, have heart?”

“Yup.” Isak wracks his brain for something else.

“Lazy?” There’s the familiar chorus of ‘nope.’ “Got dick that’ll drive a ho crazy?” He asks, mostly just trying to come up with things he knows will make people laugh. They do. “Sober as a gopher?” Nope. “Higher than a rollercoaster?” Yup. “Straight?”

“Nope,” Magnus replies with a wink. 

“What?” There are a few more beats.

“Yep!” The group chants. Isak laughs. He’s off the beat now. He scrambles for words.

“Oh shit, uh...you...softer than a sock?” There’s more laughing than response. “Are you solid as a rock?” More laughter. “Shark?” At that point, even the stomping of the beat is gone, everyone either laughing or asking Isak how he comes up with any of this. He doesn’t know.

\---

“Hey. Eskild,” Isak says, drawing Eskild away from the rest of the group seated inside around to the corner of the bus. It’s nearing 3 am, and he isn’t really sure if Eskild is down for talking at length (but, you might not have the time to wait, his mind traitorously supplies). 

“Mm?” Eskild hums in response, half paying attention to the...party going on in the parking lot. 

“Uh, what would you do if...if someone was pressuring you to do something you didn't want?” Isak asks carefully. He doesn’t want to be overly specific but he really wants answers that will help him (at least somewhat).

“Is this some passive aggression?” Eskild’s eyebrows crinkle in confusion. “Like I’m asking you to wash your tea mugs and you don’t want to and that’s why we’re having this conversation? Because I always wash your mugs. It’s fine. I was just kidding.”

“No, no, just...like, for example, if someone wanted to...have sex, but you didn't want to have sex.” More explicit then. Eskild hadn’t understood at all.

“Is Even pressuring you?” Eskild’s eyes grow wide. 

“No! No, why...why would Even be pressuring me?” Why does everyone assume that they’re together? As if Isak hadn’t screwed everything up before it’d even begun. 

“I don't know, Isak,” Eskild says in a voice that suggests he thinks Isak might be slow. Isak rolls his eyes.

“It’s...it’s not Even,” he says after a moment. He’s not sure Eskild believes him, but that’s fine. That isn’t what this is about.

“Tell the person you don't want to have sex with them,” Eskild says. Straight to the point. Isak likes that. If only that had actually worked. 

“What if, hypothetically, I already did that?” Isak says with a slight grimace. 

“Then they should respect you.”

“Ideally,” Isak agrees. “But what if they don’t?”

“Then you kick them in the throat and run because they're psychotic,” Eskild says, frowning. 

“What if I can't do that?” Isak says, almost desperately. Eskild raises his eyebrows.

“Isak, you have long legs. You can get your foot up higher than you think,” he says, shaking his head.

“No, um, what if you can't afford to make this person mad?” Isak tries to explain.

“You can't afford it? But you can afford getting raped? No, Isak. Whatever it is, whoever it is, it doesn't matter,” Eskild says, his expression turning more serious.

“This is all just hypothetical,” Isak reminds Eskild carefully.

“As you keep saying.”

“I swear!”

“Well, Isak, if this thing you're describing ever happens, I'd really like you to tell me. Ok?”

“Ok.”

“Let’s get you to sleep. I need to party.”

“What! No! I can go back to the party.”

“You are a smol bean who needs sleep. You get very cranky. And I don’t like cranky beans on my tour, ok? Go.”

“Fine.”

\---

“Just because I like Eva doesn't mean I'm a lesbian,” Vilde says, her voice echoing down the hallway. They’re all waiting backstage for soundcheck to start.

“Of course not, you could be pan or bi,” Chris says.

“It’s just...I don’t even like guys very much so that doesn’t really make sense,” Vilde says. Chris sighs.

“So...you aren’t attracted to guys?”

“I mean, I haven’t been so far but who can tell the future?”

“But...you don’t think you’re a lesbian?” Chris asks.

“I mean, I like Eva and I’ve liked other girls too but...that doesn’t make me a lesbian.” There’s a long pause.

“I’m pretty sure it does,” Chris finally says.

“Fuck. Can’t I just...can’t I just be straight and like girls anyway?”

“Vilde, you can do whatever you want,” Isak says slowly, walking toward them finally. He hopes they aren’t mad at him for eavesdropping but he has to say something.

“But can she really?” Chris asks, eyes wide in surprise. 

“I was straight for years and only liking guys.”

\---

“I have to apologize. If he’ll even talk to me…” Noora says. There are tears on her cheeks and she’s clutching her phone tight in her hands. Isak feels awkward for walking in on this...moment. He just wanted to know if Even was in the back of the bus. He isn’t, obviously.

“Uhhhh…” he mumbles.

“Hi, Isak,” Eva says, tilting her head toward the door. 

“Oh...yeah. I can leave,” he says, backing up slightly. 

“No! Wait!” Noora says. Isak freezes. 

“What?”

“I just...you know William…” She starts. 

“Yeah,” Isak says, barely stopping the face he was about to make at her boyfriend’s name. 

“Yeah...you’ve known him for years. Maybe you can help me figure this out…” She says, and he sighs. He doesn’t really want to get into this, but if he has to...he has to. He really just doesn’t want to make Noora upset. And...Isak’s opinion will make her upset.

“William has always been a mystery to me,” he says diplomatically.

“Me too,” Eva says, looking up to meet Isak’s eyes. 

“I just...I thought he’d like the fact that I was working on some new music that I really love,” Noora starts. 

“What happened?” Isak asks. He already can guess what happened.

“He...was pissed or something. He was mad that I was more in love with music than him? I think? I was ignoring him when he had come all the way to see me...” Noora trails off. She wipes her cheek.

“Weren’t you with him every minute he was here?” Isak asks. She nods. “Well then…”

“I think it’s just that he’s told me before he doesn’t like me doing my own stuff. But...I didn’t listen so that’s why he’s mad.” Isak frowns.

“He doesn’t like you writing your own music? For yourself?” Noora shakes her head.

“He doesn’t want me to get disappointed. I’m not...star material. I’m…” She pauses. “Background material.” Isak can tell she’s just repeating words she’s heard over and over, and it makes him upset. 

“I’m sure if you just apologize and tell him how you feel he’ll understand,” Eva says, rubbing Noora back gently, and Isak keeps his mouth shut.

“Yeah,” she says, cracking a small smile, and Isak leaves before he can say anything he’ll regret.

\---

Isak looks down the hallway. Then he has to look again. It’s Even. Standing there. Isak hasn’t seen him in what feels like...forever. He walks toward him. Even doesn’t walk away.

He’s ready to be treated like they’re only friends. Ready to be semi-ignored. 

“Hey,” he says when Even is finally in front of him. He has a thousand things to say. “I-”

He’s cut off. Even’s hands are on his cheeks and his mouth is on his mouth. Without thinking, Isak melts into the kiss, moving closer. He clutches Even’s t-shirt like a lifeline. He kisses him like he’s hungry because fuck, he is. He’s been imagining this moment for weeks. He’s been craving it. Starving for Even’s hands and lips and smile and voice and...everything. When they break apart, Even starts to speak.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve asked before I did that, I-”

Isak cuts him off with a kiss. Finally, they’re on the same page. And it feels so, so good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jonathan section: Basically he's harassing Isak by calling him repeatedly. Eventually, Isak picks up and he tells Isak that he's fed up with being ignored. He lays out a plan for a meeting. 
> 
> The song that we used for the rap is [Choices by E-40](https://open.spotify.com/track/5vIu19A3EEdHgFM4Cba6F4) which we didn't link in the fic because it has the n word in it.
> 
> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Come On, Set the Tone Tumblr](https://comeonsetthetone-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Isak’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/6gLN1ZtFTX44jsKIDp5p49)!  
> [Even’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/3bPGjf7mBaM8pzz1JeZrnX)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> Send us any questions on the tumblr as well. We sometimes make announcements there too. :)


	12. EVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go!!!! :) 
> 
> The last section of this has some mild content warnings (just discussion of an off screen event, but still bigger description in the end notes if you're worried).

There was no better feeling than Isak kissing him back. He’s not exaggerating. He literally, legitimately, cannot think of anything better. Maybe...lying here in Isak’s bunk, running his fingers through the blonde curls. Maybe the gentle, slow sound of Isak’s breathing. Isak’s little laughs. His little smile. How he nuzzles Even’s cheek. How his hands tangle in Even’s hair.

Even can’t shake the feeling that he doesn’t deserve it.

“This is great,” Even starts and Isak tenses up in his arms.

“But?” Isak suggests and Even nods, dipping his head to kiss Isak’s neck.

“But I’ve been horrible to you this entire tour and it feels unfair to suddenly expect that you’re entirely cool with me,” he finishes. 

“I mean...yeah?” Isak sounds a little confused. “You were mean at first. I was mean to you too. But then we were friends.”

“I’ve spent this entire time blaming you for things that weren’t your fault and alternating between yelling at you and not talking to you. You should hate me.” Isak is shaking his head. “Twice now I’ve accused you of shit you didn’t do.”

“Yeah that was shitty...but...you’re not going to keep doing that, right?” He asks. It’s Even’s turn to shake his head. “Ok. Cool. Then we’re good.”

“You’re not getting it, Isak. We’ve started off this...thing in a very unhealthy way. You shouldn’t be willing to cuddle me so quickly when I’ve shit on your awesome music that you love and I’ve been unreasonable about literally everything you have and haven’t done and-” Isak cuts him off before he can finish.

“Even, stop.”

The worst thing about all this is that Even can’t shake all his insecurity, no matter how much he acknowledges it or tries. He can tell Isak he’ll never make those mistakes again - the mistakes where he listens to his own shitty thoughts instead of the world around him - but can he really control it? He’s not sure. Sometimes it feels like he’s just...helpless. Like he doesn’t have power over himself or his life or...anything at all.

“I need to explain...I can’t not explain. I hurt you. Even if you don’t seem to have the self-preservation to realize that maybe I’m just not...good for you.” He knows Isak is too good for him. Way too good. Doesn’t Isak realize that?

“Even, listen. I decide what’s good for me. Who’s good for me. What you did...it wasn’t great, but don’t act like you...stabbed me in the kidney or something. Plus, you thought I told the tabloids you were psychotic. Then, you thought I was dating your friend behind your back. I know you’re a good person. After I found that out, after I knew that for sure, I would just get worried about you.” Isak would get worried about him? Christ.

“I was just really jealous. Because...I’m oblivious and took the jokes and rumors about you and Mikael seriously even though you...might’ve written a song about me,” Even rushes out. 

“What?” Isak turns to looks at even, propping himself up on his elbows.

“I’m pretty thick and didn’t get what you were trying to tell me. That’s why I was so mean. I thought that you had gone on a date with me out of pity. Because I’m overdramatic and dumb,” Even recites, staring up at the ceiling of the bunk. 

“You’re not dumb!” Isak protests. “Overdramatic? Yeah, definitely. Dumb. No. Plus, you apologized right after. You still were acting weird but...you weren’t really being mean. You’re not a bad person.”

“I might have said something really shitty about you to Mikael that might have clued him in that I didn’t know you weren’t together,” he says, still staring up at the ceiling.

“Oh?” Isak asks with a slight smile. 

“And I feel super guilty about it. And It might have had to do with a lack of condoms during sex being the reason you guys got along.”

“Oh. Well...yeah. That would probably clue him in that you had no idea what was going on.” They lie there for a few moments in silence. “What exactly did you say?”

“Well he kept going on about how nice and sweet you were so I said, ‘oh, is he sweet because he lets you fuck him without a condom?’” Isak laughs and Even frowns.

“I mean, that’s pretty graphic but honestly? Pretty funny. You’re funny.”

“No, Isak, it’s not funny. It’s rude and I shouldn’t have said it. You don’t have to try and make me feel better about that.” Isak curls closer, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Even...I don’t know how many more times I can say it: chill. Relax. It’s ok. You’re not a shitty person. You’re a good person with way too much self-hatred. Next time, just ask me, ok? If you don’t know, just ask me. We can save a lot of time.” That makes him crack a smile.

“Ok.” there’s more silence. “I’m...trusting you, Isak.” He has to abandon his self-doubt. His questioning. His anxiety. But that means no walls. No protections.

“That’s good.”

“No, I just...please…” _Don’t leave me. Don’t fuck me over. Because it’ll crush me._

“I’m trusting you too.”

\---

“We see you’ve finally gotten your shit together,” Eva says, looking down at Isak and Even’s clasped hands.

“What?” Magnus shouts running over. Isak buries his face in Even’s shoulder but even can feel his smile. He is so warm. Everything is so bright and happy. 

“Yeah…” Even says simply. “It was…”

“Fucking time!” Mikael says running up to the small gathering. 

“We did it!” Magnus says holding out his hand to Mikael. They start an impressively long and complex handshake which ends in the most spectacular bro-hug Even has ever seen. 

“We did it,” Isak says.

“Right. Of course,” Mikael says nodding. 

After the crowd disperses and they’re alone again, out in the parking lot, sitting against one of the walls of the stadium, Even has to keep reminding himself that this is all real. It seems like none of this is real - even the sun is shining. In Seattle. It’s still fucking freezing for some reason but Even doesn’t care. Isak is warm.

“I have something special for you tonight,” Even whispers. Isak hums in response. “Something super special.”

“Yeah?” Even nods, planting a kiss on Isak’s cheek. Isak smiles. “Can I guess?”

“You can try.” Even brushes some of the hair off Isak’s face, and his smile widens.

“Hint?” he asks and Even kisses his forehead.

“Nope.” Isak tips his head back, letting out a small groan. 

“Is it…” He trails off, pressing a little kiss to Even’s throat. It makes him shiver. “Your dick?” Even blurts out a laugh.

“No, not that.” Isak grins.

“Good, because I was gonna say, the bunk is pretty small. You’d hit your head,” he says.

“You’ll see,” Even finally says, rubbing the younger boy’s back. “You’ll like it.”

\---

“Even, I...I need to talk to you about something,” Isak says, wringing his hands nervously. Even looks up from his guitar. It’s been an hour since their talk outside, and Even is currently waiting for soundcheck to start. Now, though, he’s decidedly distracted. “There’s someone at Starmark who...isn’t a good person. And I’m worried about you. And...about myself.” He frowns, standing up. He leads Isak around the corner, away from the rest of the group. He isn’t sure what to think. There’s no way Isak could’ve found out about his dad, could he? “I’m pretty sure you’ve met him and I’m pretty sure you don’t like him. And...maybe he was the reason you didn’t sign to Starmark,” Isak says, his voice low and wavering.

Even really really doesn’t want to jump to conclusions here, but it also seems pretty possible that Isak knows. He really doesn’t need anybody else finding out. He’s not even sure his dad knows who he is, he doesn’t need it all coming out. If he never saw his father again it’d be too soon. He takes a deep breath.

“Who is this person?” Isak averts his gaze. Even touches his cheek.

“I don’t wanna say. Just...one of my bosses. Powerful. High up.” Well fuck.

“Look, Isak, I’ll keep you safe from this guy, alright? But please, don’t talk about me and him. Our thing. That’s...my business.” Isak goes incredibly pale.

“Something happened between you? Bad...bad stuff?” He asks, and Even sighs. He places his hands on either side of Isak’s face, trying to provide what little comfort he can. Isak looks...awful.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“No, Even, you have to tell somebody.”

“It’s all over now. He already...went on trial and all that. It’s done. So, the stuff between me and him…” he takes a deep breath. “I don’t want it being brought back up.” Then, Even remembers why they’re having this conversation. “Has anything happened?” Isak looks away.

“No,” he whispers.

“Promise?” Isak nods. “No, promise me. Promise me you’re safe.”

“Promise.” Even’s not sure he believes him, but he doesn’t push, just pulls Isak into a hug.They stay like that for a while, Isak’s head pressed into the crook of Even’s neck.

“Tonight, after your set, we’re gonna go on a real date,” he whispers and he feels Isak smile against his skin. “We’re gonna go on a real date and forget about all this bad shit.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” There’s silence for a while.

“Is that my surprise?” He asks weakly and Even gives a soft laugh.

“No, that’s something else. First, surprise. Then, real date. Then, we get back on the bus and watch Romeo and Juliet in your bunk and drink tea.”

“And kiss?” Even smiles.

“Yeah. And kiss.”

\---

When it comes time in his set - time for Isak’s surprise - he almost loses his nerve. Then he remembers the way Isak’s eyes light up when he smiles and his resolve hardens.

“This is a song I wrote a bunch of years ago about a love I really wanted but didn’t think was possible. But now...now I know. Because I have it.”

He starts to play, careful not to miss a note. He knows he won’t - he’s practiced so much he could probably play it in his sleep. Still, he dedicates all his attention to the guitar.

[“I hear the drizzle of the rain. Like a memory it falls soft and warm continuing. Tapping on my roof and walls.” ](https://open.spotify.com/track/4Acofe9hICRvyBTP5hFNk0) He knows this is Isak’s favorite song of his. And it just so happens that Isak is...the new subject. “From the shelter of my mind, through the window of my eyes, I gaze beyond the rain drenched streets, to New York City where my heart lies. My mind’s distracted and diffused, my thoughts are many miles away. They lie with you when you’re asleep, and kiss you when you start your day.”

A montage of sorts is running through his mind. Isak asleep next to him. Isak smiling. Isak laughing. Isak with foam from his latte on his upper lip. His gold curls. His perfect laugh.

“So you see I have come to doubt all that I once held as true. I stand alone without beliefs. The only truth I know is you.”

\---

Isak isn’t where he said he’d be following his set and Even...isn’t concerned (he totally is. Has he already fucked it up again? Where is he?). He isn’t concerned (he is). Isak will show up. Maybe he had a family member come see him. Maybe he’s already back at the buses. Maybe he had forgotten that they were going out. Even knows that Isak isn’t trying to hurt him. It’s just a misunderstanding. 

He keeps repeating that to himself. Just a misunderstanding.

He waits for an hour. Two hours. Still, Isak doesn’t show up. He tries calling. 

“Hello, this is Isak! Leave a message after the beep. BEEP. Haha, no, really.” Even hangs up. Tries again. No answer. He tries again. Still, nothing. Misunderstanding, he repeats to himself.

He tries a text.

_coming?_

He waits. There’s a response.

_i needfn, mb..c. ’_

_fuck off._

Misunderstanding.

_you ok?_ He tries.

A response.

_I said fuck off._

\---

“So...how’s Isak?” Yousef asks catching up to Even as he crosses the parking lot. The remains of the party from a couple of nights ago are still obvious. It’s their last night in Seattle. Even feels...disappointed. Yes, he loves that he can tour, but it has also been nice to get to go back to his home and see his family (and cat) whenever he likes. He’d been waiting inside, backstage, for almost 2 and half hours now, so he’s on a mission to both find Isak and make some tea to drink back in his folding chair. In the hallway. Where he’s still hoping Isak will appear.

“No,” Even says, continuing to walk. 

“Come on man! What did I do?” Yousef says reaching out to catch Even’s shoulder. He shrugs Yousef’s hand off and keeps walking. Maybe Isak had wound up there when he missed Even on his way out. If he wasn’t...it was a misunderstanding. All of it. Just a misunderstanding. 

“No. I don’t want to talk about it with you,” he replies shortly. 

“What do you mean? I’m the best person here to talk about it with. I’m dating Sana.” Even stops, finally turning to look at him.

“Yeah, and your relationship is great. So...my relationship _isn’t_ going great, so I’d rather not talk about your awesome time with Sana if that makes sense,” he snaps.

“Yeah sure,” Yousef replies. 

“I do have one question,” Even starts.

“What?”

“How the fuck are you happy?”

“What?”

“You’re relationship. How’re you happy living in...secrecy?”

“What the fuck? What are you talking about?”

“You’re keeping it on the down low. I...I could never do that. Well...I couldn’t do that and be happy, I guess.” He’ll have to do it with Isak, he knows. He doesn’t want to. But he’ll have to. And he can’t imagine how it could possibly go well.

“Ok. But it works for us. It isn’t like our relationship is secret. We’re just...more private.”

“Sana said she didn’t have a boyfriend in a radio interview.”

“It was something we had planned. She just won’t answer questions that pry into her personal life. That’s her choice. Our choice. If that makes you uncomfortable…”

“Look. I’m sorry. I just...I can’t contain my love when I love somebody.”

“Love?” Yousef raises his eyebrows, smirking. Even sighs, running a hand through his hair.

“Like?” Even tries again.

“Ok. Sure. But...what works for you is good for you. It isn’t my situation,” Yousef says softly.

“Yeah ok.” Even pauses. “I’m just worried about Isak. I’m sorry I blew up at you.”

“What’s wrong?”

“We were supposed to meet to go on a date and he never showed up.”

“That’s not…” Yousef trails off.

“Good?” Even supplies.

“Promising?” Yousef says with a shrug.

“Yeah, I know. I just...I’ve been trying to...remind myself that it’s a misunderstanding.”

“Maybe. Check the bus?” 

“I’m about to, but I already tried texting him and...” He doesn’t even want to think about it.

“I’m sure everything is fine. I can look for you. He’ll probably have fallen asleep on the couch backstage or something,” Yousef says as if it isn’t a big deal. 

“Ok.”

“We’re all rooting for you guys.”

“Thanks, Yousef. We all...we’re all there for you and Sana as well.”

\---

“I know you told me to be safe and I’m sorry I lied,” Isak says, pulling his hair. He’s shaking and Even gets the feeling he might start to cry. It’s almost 2 AM, and Isak has just walked into the backstage hallway. The bus is leaving in an hour, crew members are busy packing amps and guitars but Even’s been sitting in this spot since 10 (minus the short, fruitless excursion to the buses). Calling. Texting. Waiting. He stands up now, walking toward the younger boy who looks – if possible – even worse than he did earlier.

“What? What’s wrong?” Even asks his hands on Isak’s shoulders. His breaths are heavy and quick like he’s trying not to break into tears.

“You kept telling me to be safe and instead…” he trails off, shaking his head. He takes another gasping breath.

“Isak. You’re scaring me. What happened?” Even asks, trying to keep calm.

“I cheated on you,” he says quietly. 

“What?” Even tilts his head, confused. No. Not possible.

“He just wouldn’t leave me alone. I thought…” Isak starts to cry and Even pulls him into a tight hug. Hot little tears are streaming down his cheeks, his sobs make his whole body shudder.

“Shh. Tell me what happened.”

“I...It’s Jonathan. The guy I was telling you about.” Wait. What? When? “The dangerous one.” Shit. 

“Jonathan?” Isak nods, wiping his eyes with the heel of his palm. “Oh my God, Isak, I thought you were...fuck, I thought you were talking about someone else.” Isak frowns, pulling away slightly.

“Who? Who else would I be talking about?” Isak asks, confused. Even hesitates. Isak clearly has something else going on and doesn’t need more worry. “Is there someone else?”

“No, look, it doesn’t matter. Just...what happened?”

“I didn’t want to. I swear I didn’t. It just...I couldn’t…” Tears keep falling. Isak is trembling.

“Isak?” Even feels cold. 

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I…” he’s gasping for air. Even pulls him closer.

“Isak...Isak you’re having a panic attack. Isak….can you match my breathing?” He shakes his head against Even’s chest. Even feels his heart breaking, if that’s even possible. But he also feels something else. Rage, he realizes. Unfiltered rage at whoever was shitty enough to do this to Isak. To make him this distraught.

“I can’t. I’m sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Isak says, still shaking. “I told him I didn’t...I told him I didn’t want to. Then you texted me and I...I tried to ask you and then he took the phone. I couldn’t get it back, I’m sorry.” Even rubs his back slowly. So that answers that question. “I’m -” Suddenly Isak’s legs seem to give out, and Even has to lower them both to the concrete floor. Isak starts to retch. Even rubs his back as he dry heaves, whispering whatever comforting words he can come up with until Isak finally calms down enough to get a deep breath in and out.

When he’s finally back to at least somewhat lucidity, Even realizes he has to get what happened out of Isak. No matter how devastated Isak seems to be. Even needs to know.

“You told him you didn’t want to what?” He whispers, stroking the younger boy’s hair back from his face.

“It wasn’t like the car...I got...I got away. I didn’t…” He manages to say in between labored breaths.

“The car?” Even’s mind is spinning. Racing.

“Sex. We had sex.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: So Isak has a panic attack and reveals that he had sex with Jonathan (with heavy implications he was raped).
> 
> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Come On, Set the Tone Tumblr](https://comeonsetthetone-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Isak’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/6gLN1ZtFTX44jsKIDp5p49)!  
> [Even’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/3bPGjf7mBaM8pzz1JeZrnX)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> Send us any questions on the tumblr as well. We sometimes make announcements there too. :)


	13. ISAK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end notes for detailed content warning (though as usual, there are no graphic descriptions included in the chapter itself).
> 
> Special shoutout to our friend Heather (safficwriter) who helped on this chapter :)

“What do you mean?” Isak can hear Even ask, but everything seems like it’s swimming. Like he’s underwater. Someone needs to pull him up.

“I didn’t want to. It just happened. I’m sorry, please don’t break up with me.” He can hear himself talking too but he feels strangely detached as if he’s only barely in control of his actions.

“Isak, what do you mean you didn’t want to?” 

“I couldn’t say no.” He wants Even to understand. It just wasn’t an option for him to say no. He can feel his heart pounding and he feels hot like he’s sick. Maybe he is. Maybe this is a nightmare. Maybe he’ll wake up in Even’s arms. Why can’t he wake up? 

“So you...you were raped,” Even says carefully and Isak is shaking his head before he’s even done talking. He can’t have been raped. He didn’t say no. He-

“No,” Isak says.

“But you didn’t want it.”

“That doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters! Isak, we need to get you to the hospital and we need to let Eskild know so this guy can pay the fucking price.” Even sounds so angry that it makes Isak almost scared.

“It was a mistake,” he repeats. He still feels so weird and lightheaded. He knows what he’s saying. He knows it’s important that he’s talking. It just doesn’t feel real. 

“It was his fucking mistake. You’re a victim. It’s not your fault,” Even says, his voice cracking slightly. Isak looks up to meet Even’s eyes. They’re...beautiful...and sad. They look so nice in this light. 

“You don’t know the whole story. He’s been...interested in me for a long time,” he explains slowly. Even has to understand. It was...

“It’s not your fault, Isak,” Even says, as if reading Isak’s mind. “You didn’t...cheat on me. You were in a bad situation and were raped by a guy who’d been harassing you for...how long?”

“Three years,” Isak says after a moment.

“Three years?! Isak…” Even takes a deep breath. “Well, it’s fucking over now. Forever. Look, Eskild is probably still up, and the bus doesn’t leave for another hour so we should see if we can get you to a hospital.” Isak shakes his head. “What?”

“I already showered. And he used a condom, so...” He shrugs, looking down at his feet.

“Well...are you hurt?” Even asks carefully, brushing some of Isak’s hair behind his ear.

“I don’t think so,” he says and Even sighs.

“I still think the hospital is a good idea.”

“Even, I know you want to date me. That you like me. So I know you don’t wanna believe that I cheated on you, but-”

“Stop saying that. Whether or not you ‘cheated’ on me should be the last thing on your mind right now. And you didn’t, for the record.”

“I didn’t even fight him. I just...let it happen. I didn’t...I didn’t even say no. I didn’t say anything.” He still can’t meet Even’s gaze.

“That’s not how it works. Consent is a yes. Anything else...anything at all, means no. So if you didn’t say yes then you didn’t cheat on me.”

“But -”

“No. No buts.”

“But I kissed him back, I…”

“A kiss isn’t a yes,” Even says softly, still stroking his hair.

“I know that,” he says, not knowing whether he wants to cry or roll his eyes.

“So that’s that. Right? That’s that.”

“I guess,” Isak responds. “Uhhh…” He sighs, finally looking back up at Even’s eyes. They still look so sad.

“Yeah?” Even asks.

“I just...hug?” He asks, opening his arms. Even smiles slightly. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Isak says, drawing him in close. They stand like that for what feels like forever - until Isak can bear to stand on his own again.

\---

“I don’t know what to do…” Isak can hear Even talking to Eskild from his spot just inside the bus. 

“What’s wrong?” Eskild asks quietly. His voice is muffled by the slightly cracked door. Even had said that the three of them should go out into the parking lot so they could have privacy when they were talking, but Isak didn’t want to talk. He wanted to forget.

“Isak’s really hurt. And in shock, I think.”

“What happened?” Eskild asks. Isak takes a deep breath and averts his eyes. He wishes he could stop listening to their conversation. He should have actually gone all the way inside if he didn’t want to be a part of it. But...the idea of being further from the one person who has accepted him. Miraculously. If he’s not close maybe he’ll change his mind. 

“Isak was raped,” Even says after a moment. Isak feels his chest tighten up. That’s not him. He isn’t that person and yet...he is now. He stands slowly and pushes the door open. He’s exhausted. 

“Not exactly. It wasn’t like that,” he says, and the two older men turn their heads. Eskild sighs heavily.

“Isak,” Even says quietly, holding out a hand. Isak carefully takes it. 

“It was...I’m not hurt,” he tries to explain. Eskild’s expression is...off. It shouldn’t be that sad. Why is he shaking his head?

“If you didn’t give enthusiastic consent it was rape,” Eskild says. There are tears in his eyes. Isak isn’t injured. Why is he...

“I know,” Isak tries to explain. “But...I just lead him on I guess.”

“Ignoring harassment isn’t leading someone on,” Even tries again but Isak starts shaking his head.

“Who?” Eskild asks after a moment, his voice hard. 

“Uhhh...Jonathan?” He mutters but Eskild seems to hear. His jaw drops a bit. 

“I just...I just...layed there,” Isak mumbles, and he feels Even’s hand tighten around his own.

“We should have...we thought you were friends,” Eskild says. “I should have seen the signs. I just...I’m so…” He trails off. His eyes take on a sharpened quality that Isak has never seen before. “I will do everything in my power to get the asshole convicted.”

“I can’t press charges,” Isak says, looking up in panic. “I can’t. It’s just a thing, right? A music industry thing? Or...there’s no evidence anyway.”

“Christ. Isak...this isn’t a thing you have to deal with. Whatever he told you about...this. It’s not right. You have every right to go after him. But there’s no physical evidence?” Eskild asks, and Isak shakes his head.

“Condom,” he says quietly and Eskild looks slightly relieved. “Shower. I mean...there are texts on my phone. That he’s sent me. And...phone calls and stuff. But no...like, physical evidence.”

“Listen, we’re gonna get this taken care of, alright?” Eskild asks. “I’ll go to the fucking head of the company if I have to.” Even winces slightly at that comment, but Isak isn't sure why. “For right now, I’m gonna call the offices in New York and tell them what happened. You won’t have to see him anymore. Are you alright?”

“I think so. I mean...I sort of knew it was gonna happen. He’d been saying we were gonna...I don’t know. It just feels like if I was-”

“Ok, pause. If you’re about to imply that any of this is your fault, please don’t. It’s that creep’s fucking fault, alright?” Eskild reassures him, and Isak nods. “Ok. We’re about to get going, it’s gonna be a long ride, so I think you should get some sleep. Try to relax.”

“Ok.”

“I’ll be here if you need me.”

\---

For the first time in a long time, Isak feels safe. He’s in his bunk, his body pressed to Even’s, Joni purring by the heating vent - safe. 

Even seems to know a lot about recovering from bad things, which is helpful but also...oddly worrying. Why does Even know? He’s reminded of the other person at Starmark. The one who did something to Even. Who’d been on trial, who Even never wanted to see again. If it wasn’t Jonathan then who?

“Hey,” Isak whispers and Even kisses his forehead gently. The touch is instantly soothing. “I have a question.”

“Shoot,” Even whispers back, adjusting the blankets around Isak’s shoulders, making sure they cover his bare skin.

“Who was that person? The other person?” Even suddenly seems far away, his expression slightly strained. He clears his throat and runs his hand through Isak’s hair. Again, his touch makes the younger boy sink deeper into the warm, calm sensation he gets when Even is close by.

“I need you to promise you won’t tell anybody. It’s...really important to me that no one knows.” The soft rumble of the bus engine draws Isak even further toward sleep, but he fights to stay awake.

“I promise.” Even takes a deep breath.

“My dad. Is the owner. And founder.” There’s a long silence. Isak’s not sure what to think. His biological father. The one who he was taken away from.

“And what happened?” he whispers, not even sure if he wants to know. Even’s expression is still far away. Almost blank.

“I had a lot of issues with abuse and neglect. He used to say my mom…” He pauses. “He said she wasn’t grateful enough for his love so he just left her. He said she was unlovable. And he’d warn me that…” Another pause. “If I wasn’t grateful, if I let myself be unlovable, he’d teach me a lesson. And it seemed like everything I did was a mistake because he’d always find something. But then there were those times...when he was awesome. And I always told myself that if I was good enough he wouldn’t have to hit me. Or...lock me in closets and stuff.”

“He would do that?” Even nods.

“Oh yeah. I remember...before I got diagnosed with cvid, he’d lock me in my room if I was sick. He has it too, and he didn’t want me giving him anything I guess, so we would do all this stuff to make sure we didn’t get sick - like, I wasn’t allowed to touch other people. He saw me give my teacher a hug once and fuck, I got slapped for that. But I couldn’t help getting sick. He was on all these crazy treatments for his cvid but I wasn’t even diagnosed, so...I mean, there wasn’t anything I could do to avoid it. So if I was sick, I’d either hide it or stay locked up in my room.” The thought of Even as a little kid, locked in his bedroom, sick and alone, makes Isak wish he’d never asked.

“That’s fucked.”

“Yeah. It was.”

“How did...how did you finally get out?” Even’s expression lightens slightly, but not much.

“School nurse. I was always coming in with coughs and fevers and everything, and she’d get mad at my dad for sending me to school like that. So I guess eventually she called the cops or whatever and that was the last time I saw him.” 

“How long was he in prison?”

“He wasn’t.” Isak frowns.

“What do you mean? You said he went on trial.” How could someone who did something like that not go to prison?

“He got off. He had a great lawyer, plus he has money to fucking burn.” Rich people don’t go to jail, then. That’s...interesting. Maybe he shouldn’t press charges against Jonathan after all. Then again, he’d rather fight and lose than not fight at all.

“So no one knows?”

“No.”

“He must know though, right? That you’re his son?”

“I don’t think so. I was only 5 when I got adopted so I’m sure I look pretty different. Plus, he’d be looking to see if I had any immune disorders, they’re pretty rare, but it’s not such a huge fact about me. I was sort of upset when it all got printed in Hazard - my fault though for not making sure it was off the record.” Even’s quiet for a long while before he speaks again. “Anyway, that was who I thought you were talking about. When we had that conversation. I’m really glad it wasn’t - not that Jonathan is any better, just...I know I can’t face my dad. But I could definitely fucking kill Jonathan. So…” Even goes back to stroking Isak’s hair. 

“Don’t kill him.”

“Why not?”

“What if you get caught?”

“They’ll throw me a parade.”

“True.” More silence. “So you know about trauma because you went through all that?”

“More or less. And I’ve been in therapy basically every week of my life since age 6.”

“I just keep...I don’t know. I just keep getting this awful feeling. Like...like finding out I did something horrible while I was drunk. Guilty and angry and...I don’t know. Something else too.”

“Embarrassed,” Even provides. Isak nods.

“Then I just...I get mad at myself for thinking like that.”

“Don’t get mad at yourself. You’re feeling what you’re feeling, it’s ok. You just have to acknowledge that those feelings are coming from a place of...misdirected blame. Because it isn’t your fault. The more you tell yourself that the easier it’ll be, I promise.” Even sounds as if he’s reciting a mantra. Like he’s said the words many times before with the same tone and rhythm to himself. He probably has. That makes Isak upset, but he tries to focus on the advice rather than where it’s coming from. It isn’t his fault.

“I’ll be ok,” he says quietly, testing how the words feel in his mouth. “I’ll be ok.”

“I know you will,” Even whispers, holding him tighter.

“I’m just...I can’t get it out of my head.”

“It’s over now. You’re ok. You’re here with me and I swear to God, as long as I’m on Earth you don’t have to worry.” Isak tries to curl himself closer to Even even though their bodies are already almost flush.

“I liked your surprise. For me,” Isak whispers, hoping to change the subject. Even laughs softly, his chest moving against Isak’s cheek.

“Oh?” he says and Isak nods.

“It was proper romantic.”

“That’s me, I guess,” Even says. He’s smiling but his eyes are still tight with worry.

“I like that song a lot,” he whispers. Even keeps carding his fingers through his hair.

“I know babe. I know. I’ll sing it every time. Every time for you,” he says softly.

“I’m so lucky.”

“I wish I could have…” Even sighs.

“Even. No,” Isak says more sharply than he’d intended. 

“We can be each other’s good luck charms now, hmm?”

“I might...need more than just good luck,” Isak says slowly. 

“Yeah? What do you need?” Even asks. Isak doesn’t respond right away. He doesn’t want to think about this. But he has to.

“A restraining order, at least,” Isak finally says. 

“Definitely.”

“Maybe...Eskild thinks I probably need therapy.”

“You already go to therapy though, right?” Isak sighs.

“I’m supposed to but...not really. Maybe every other month or something.”

“Well, you should...think about going again. It helps. It’s...it’s really hit or miss for me. Sometimes I feel I can do it. It gives you time to talk about stuff.”

“I just. Therapy was ok. But after I got Joni...everything was less intense. I didn’t need it as much.” At the sound of her name, the little cat perks up.

“Ok. I get it. I understand. But…” Even trails off, going back to playing with Isak’s hair.

“Maybe it’s time?”

“If it’s what you want,” Even says. “You look tired.”

“I’m not,” he mumbles, even though he’s having trouble keeping his eyes open. He wants to stay up. Just so he can keep this safe, warm feeling.

“You’re sleepy. Go to sleep. I’ll still be here.”

\----

Isak wakes up twice before he actually gets out of bed for good. 

The first is after a nightmare he can’t remember, Even rubbing his back, his heart pounding in his throat. It takes him a long time to get back to sleep.

The second time is when Even leaves. 

“We’re stopping for breakfast. I’ll get you some tea, ok?” He asks, kneeling by the side of the bunk so they’re eye to eye. Isak nods and Even kisses him gently. “Go back to sleep.”

The last time he wakes up is when Eskild shakes his shoulder.

“Hey. Time to get up. Soundcheck is in a half hour.” Isak shifts uncomfortably.

“We’re already in LA?” He mumbles, still groggy.

“What do you mean ‘already’? You’ve been asleep all day. It’s almost 6.”

“Where’s Even?”

“I was hoping you could tell me that.”

“What do you mean?” Isak asks. He knows what Eskild means. Even has left. Even doesn’t...no. He said he’d be there for Isak. He will be. 

“Even isn’t back from lunch. He told me to give you this tea when you woke up. I heated it up for you just now,” Eskild says, handing over a paper travel cup. 

“Where was he going?”

“He didn’t...ok. Uhhhh...he was going out to grab you some food from downtown. He said he’d be back around four at the latest.”

“Oh.”

“Has he called you? Can you call him?”

“Haven’t you?”

“He didn’t pick up.”

“Ok,” Isak says. Now he’s worried. He fumbles for his phone. There’s a hot pink post-it note stuck to it with some doodles. Hearts. Snapbacks. Tea. Cats. He smiles slightly before scrambling to call Even. 

He picks up immediately. “Isak! Are you ok?” Even asks. 

“Even,” he sighs in relief. 

“I’m coming back. Are you ok?” He asks again, more anxiously. 

“Yeah, yeah Even. I’m fine. What about you? Where are you? Do you need a ride?” Isak asks looking up at Eskild and shrugging.

“Yeah. No. I got it. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Ok. Thanks for the tea. ‘Skild warmed it up for me.” Eskild smiles. Isak smiles back.

“Oh! You just woke up?”

 

“Yeah.”

“I’m bringing some food. It was supposed to be lunch but now it’s dinner I guess?”

“Sure.”

“I wanted to be back before you woke up...just something came up. I’ll tell you all about it. It’s nothing to do with you. Don’t worry. I’m five minutes away,” He says. Isak breathes out slowly. Only five minutes. Then Even will be back. And everything will be ok again.

“Alright...see you soon.”

“See you, babes,” Even says and Isak hangs up. 

“He’s gonna be back in five,” he says to Eskild. “He said something came up.”

\---

“Hey,” Isak says scooting over so Even can slide in next to him in his bunk. There isn’t really enough room, but Isak doesn’t care. He likes it in here. It’s quiet and warm and private. And theirs - his and Even’s.

“Hey,” Even says. He has a plastic bag filled with take out containers in one of his hands. Isak studies his face. He looks...shaken?

“What’s going on?” Isak asks, narrowing his eyes slightly. Even rubs his eyes.

“I just...saw my dad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Section one: Isak describes vaguely his understanding of what happened. Even tries to convince him that it wasn't his fault and talks about consent. 
> 
> Section 2: They talk with Eskild about what happened. There's no physical evidence but Isak has saved everything from his phone. Even and Eskild vow to protect Isak and get justice. Isak still doesn't entirely think it was rape. 
> 
> Section 3: Isak and even talk about Evens childhood and his dad. Mentions of neglect and abuse while Even remembers living with his father. They talk about how to move forward. Isak is beginning to understand that he'll need help (not just a boyfriend). They cuddle.
> 
> Section 4: Isak wakes up and Eskild is worried because he doesn't know where Even is. Isak calls and Even immediately picks up. He's gone out to get lunch but got delayed for a mysterious reason. 
> 
> Section 5: Even says he saw his dad.
> 
> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Come On, Set the Tone Tumblr](https://comeonsetthetone-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Isak’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/6gLN1ZtFTX44jsKIDp5p49)!  
> [Even’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/3bPGjf7mBaM8pzz1JeZrnX)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> Send us any questions on the tumblr as well. We sometimes make announcements there too. :)


	14. EVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little late but a bit longer. :)
> 
> See end notes for detailed content warning (though as usual, there are no graphic descriptions included in the chapter itself).

They’ve been in LA for all of 5 hours and everything has already gone to complete shit. First, Isak is absolutely broken - he can’t sleep without having nightmares which Even can’t seem to help, and he seems like he’s completely sapped of energy as if even opening his eyes is a chore. Then, Even got lost on the way to the Indian take out place. And of course, on the way back to the bus, he ran into...his dad. 

LA is the last stop on tour. Even had only recently found out (because why would he care, right? He has no connection to StarMark.) that the final tour dates meant all the label execs were coming out to see them. Including his father. And Jonathan.

It happened when Even got back to the parking lot, halfway back to the buses. A hand on his shoulder. He’d turned around, smiling, expecting to see Eskild (expecting to be ribbed for getting lost in a city he’d been a thousand times...lost only a few blocks from a restaurant he’d been to before). He froze. 

He looks exactly how Even remembers. Clipped, gelled blonde hair, a crisp button down, and angry. Not obviously angry, but in the way he always was. It bubbles beneath the surface and Even catches glimpses. 

“Even. Evy, I used to call you, right?” His father’s eyes squint slightly. How is this happening? This can’t be actually happening. Maybe if he plays dumb it’ll all go away.

“Sorry, who are you?” He asks, and his dad - Frederik, people in the industry call him Freddie - laughs harshly.

“Let’s cut the shit. We both know exactly what’s going on right now. You got so big,” he says, and Even sighs quietly. He’s just going to have to do this then. “I remember the last time I saw you. Like this. Face to face. I was so sad. You were so small. You look so different now.” Still, Even doesn’t speak, just waits for his father to get to the point. “I saw a picture of you in some magazine, some up and coming artist section, before I really knew it was you, and there was something so familiar. I knew I had to sign you. But you turned down offer after offer and I could never figure out why. I could never place it. Even after I read that Hazard interview I couldn’t put the pieces together. Then there was some tabloid story about...psychosis. And that got my attention. Then they printed a correction. ‘Næsheim was hospitalized following an illness as a result of his cvid.’ Common variable immune deficiency. Then I knew.” He smiles, placing his hand on Even’s shoulder. “I always had my suspicions. It’s not a common thing, you know. Only...6000 people in this country have it.”

Fuck. 

“What do you want?” Even says, though it comes out more like a growl. This is all making him feel so...small. Like he’s five years old again, completely hopeless. Helpless.

“I want my son back.”

“I don’t want you,” he says, trying to take a step back, but the hand on his shoulder holds him in place. His father smiles.

“That doesn’t matter. You’re my son. And you’re going to sign to my label or I’ll make sure you never do any of this - any of it - ever again. So you can make your choice. Everything, or nothing,” he offers with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. Even almost laughs, it’s so ridiculous.

“You can’t do that,” he stutters. His father’s smile widens and it shoots a pang of anxiety through Even’s chest.

“We’re family. I made mistakes, I know I did, but we’re all each other has. Flesh and blood. I can give you everything. Anything you want. You just have to give me a chance.” Even sets his jaw.

“Anything I want?” His father nods, touching some of Even’s hair carefully, tucking it behind his ear. “I want you to fucking choke.” His father chuckles.

“What about all those sicknesses? Your condition? What if I could fix that for you? What if I could send your little sister to college? What if I could let your little friend Isak out of his contract with that asshole? Who fucked him? Consider it all done. Just come back to me.” Even is...overwhelmed. 

“You know?” 

“You think I don’t know what’s going on at my own company?”

“What?” Even asks, stunned. He feels almost like the wind’s been knocked out of him.

“That manager reported Jonathan again.”

“Again?”

“People have been reporting his behavior around acts for years. He’s a good worker and a good friend,” Frederik explains. Even’s heart sinks. Is there nothing they can do to make sure he is punished for what he did?

“But he hurt Isak,” Is all he can think to say. His father shrugs. 

“Jonathan was working harder than ever to make sure that Isak stayed with the label and Isak wasn’t putting up a fuss. Why change a good system?” Frederik seems so nonchalant about the fact that his actions and encouragement lead to the sexual harassment and rape of one of his acts. Even can barely breathe. “Just think about my offer. I...would be willing to protect Isak. For a price. I see no harm in his relationship with Jonathan but...I’d be willing to keep them apart. All of this hinges on you, though. If you join me as my son I will make sure that Jonathan isn’t allowed near Isak. I just need you to sign a contract. That’s all. Be my son again. Give me that chance.”

For the first time, he’s not sure what to say. He’s not sure what his answer should be. What if this is the only way to keep Isak safe? It can’t be, can it?

“You have some time. To decide. Just think carefully, because if you really can’t stand to be my son, you’ll never be anything.” He touches Even’s cheek, running his thumb over his cheekbone before pulling away again. He flashes one last smile and walks away, pulling his phone from his pocket, disappearing into a black town car. Like nothing happened. The car drives away, leaving Even alone in the parking lot, clutching his plastic bag of takeout in one hand, frozen.

Things look different. Things feel different. Everything is unstable. He’s waiting for the aftershocks of an earthquake, waiting for the ground to crack under his feet.

But back to reality. He doesn’t need to tell Isak any of this. Isak is dealing with enough. He told him the only thing he needs to hear. He saw his dad. That’s enough.

Isak only picks at his food, visibly nervous if Even isn’t touching him. He’s missing something. He’s been missing something since what happened with Jonathan. He seems almost empty. His smile doesn’t seem genuine. He almost needs Even to be in physical contact with him or he’s anxious to the point of tears. He holds Even’s hand so tight his fingernails leave marks.

The bus starts to move again at some point, and Eskild says they’re all staying at a hotel for the final show. Even’s glad. Isak will have a big bed to sleep in and room service and a full-size shower with warm water. It’ll be good for him. Especially when he has the breakdown that Even knows is coming. And he knows it is.

\---

After they’re finished eating, Isak falls back into fitful sleep, Joni curled up against him, and Even gets out of bed, hoping Joni will be enough to comfort Isak if he wakes up while Even’s gone.

He walks into the small kitchen area and stops in his tracks when he sees Noora sitting in one of the chairs, looking like she’s holding back tears. He debates whether or not to ask, and decides he’d better.

“Are you ok?” She sighs.

“I broke up with William. I don’t know if I made the right decision.”

“Really?” Even asks, trying to keep his voice light. Personally, he thinks that any decision that resulted in Noora and William breaking up was probably a good one but he also didn’t want to upset Noora any further. 

“Yeah. I thought I would be with him forever. I thought we were end-game, you know?”

“Yeah,” Even says glancing back toward the bunks slightly. He does know. Until a few weeks ago he would have said that that idea was ridiculous, but now...he thinks he can understand. 

“I guess it wasn’t as perfect as I thought it was.”

“That sometimes happens.” Even remembers how he had thought that Sonja was The One at first. Before she became controlling and before all of their ambitions and health issues drove them further and further apart. The decline of his relationship with her was probably one of the reasons he would have had to try hard to contain his laughter at the idea of a forever relationship a few weeks ago. 

“I guess. I just took a minute and realized that I had been ignoring everything my friends were telling me. They kept saying that I was placing too much importance on what he thought of me and my work and I wasn’t taking my own advice. I wasn’t myself when I was with him. I couldn’t keep doing that.”

“Then you made the right choice?” Even suggests. 

“But maybe I didn’t. I care so much for him. He needs me. He’s different with me than he is when he’s around other people. With me, I’m his girlfriend first and a member of his father’s company second. With the other’s their his father’s employees. You’d probably be a little stilted too at first if you had to be around your father’s employee all the time,” Noora says. Even tries not to wince at how close to home her analogy hit. 

“I think you made the best decision for you. If you’re really worried about William you can send him a message asking to be friends or something. Don’t feel obligated to be in a relationship for the other person if it’s unhealthy.”

“That’s...that makes a lot of sense.”

“Glad to help.” He can’t seem to help Isak as much as he likes, but maybe he can help some of his other friends.

\---

Once they got to the hotel, Even had carefully helped transfer Isak from one bed to the other, and after he was sure the younger boy was alright, he went to Balloon Squad’s suite to play pool. He was there for only about 20 minutes before his phone started to ring. When he sees it’s Isak he picks up immediately.

Elias makes some joking comments about Even being “whipped,” but Even just blocks him out. Isak is sobbing, barely able to get words out. Even doesn’t need to understand to know that Isak needs him. Without a word to the boys, he rushes out, barely keeping himself from sprinting down the hall. His heart is pounding. He jabs at the elevator button, and eventually decides just to use the stairs.

When he gets to Isak’s door after what feels like an eternity, he fumbles with the key, his hands shaking. He finally manages to get it open, and bursts inside, looking around frantically for Isak. The bed is a tangled mess of sheets and covers but worryingly empty. Isak isn’t on the floor either. Even can almost feel his blood pressure rising.

“Isak!” He calls out shakily, and there’s a soft sob from the bathroom. Even pulls open the door to see his boyfriend kneeling on the marble tile in front of the toilet, dry heaving, trembling, so pale Even worries he’ll pass out. He immediately scrambles to kneel next to him, almost slipping on the slick floor, pulling the shaking boy tight against his chest. He heaves in between another sob, and Even feels the sick hit his t-shirt. He doesn’t care. There are other t-shirts. He’s surprised Isak even had anything in his system to get rid of - he’s been so reluctant to eat or drink since the...incident.

“O-oh f’fuckk I’m s-so-sorry, I’m so stupid-d,” Isak splutters, pulling away, covering his face with his hands, and Even takes off his soiled shirt, tossing it aside - if he’s going to hold Isak he doesn’t want vomit getting everywhere. He pulls him back, close, one hand running through the blonde curls, which are now noticeably damp with sweat. The acrid smell is thick in the air and Even realizes Isak’s sweatpants and t-shirt are in a heap in the corner, presumably because they’re dirty too. Fuck. This is bad.

“Shh...shh…” he whispers, his lips moving against Isak’s skin. “Shh, you’re ok. I’m here.”

“I just...oh fuck,” he says, and Even worries he’s going to be sick again. Isak’s hands curl into fists, the knuckles going white.

“Baby, shh, you need to take a deep breath. Shhhh,” he says, and Isak tries and fails to breathe deep, devolving into sobs and hiccups. Even rubs his back. “How about you give me your hands?” He asks calmly. Isak slowly relaxes his fingers. There are small, reddish indentations in the shape of half-moons on his palms. His nails were bitten too badly to break the skin, but it still looks painful. “That’s so good, baby. You’re doing a great job. Just take a deep breath with me.” Isak tries again, but again, his panic is getting in the way.

“He...he...fuck..I…”

“Shh, I know. You’re ok now. You’re here with me.” Isak’s arms wrap tight around Even’s shoulders, his short, blunt nails digging into Even’s bare skin. Still, Even holds him there. After a while, Isak’s sobbing starts to calm, and Even kisses his temple. “Let’s get you back in bed, ok?” Isak nods wearily and Even helps him wrap his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist so the older boy can carry him. Even if the room wasn’t so huge, Even still doubts Isak would be able to stand.

Isak clutches him like a little kid holds a stuffed bear and Even makes the walk easily, setting him down on the huge bed, tucking the comforter around his trembling frame. It’s the only thing on the bed not soaked in sweat and Even makes a mental note to make sure the sheets get changed soon. 

He grabs the cleanest pillow, tucking it carefully under Isak’s head. He’s still quivering with sobs, his eyes screwed shut, his knees pulled in toward his chest.

Though Even’s heart feels like it’s in a vice, he’s not at all surprised that Isak is like this. He knew it was only a matter of time before everything really hit him. He’d been in a haze since it happened, and it was only now he felt the blow. Even’s been there.

Even won’t leave him now. He knows that’s what Isak needs, whether or not he asks for it. He needs Even there. Because Even knows how much it hurts to be alone.

So he sits by his side, stroking his hair until he falls back into a fitful sleep. After Even is sure he’s out, he picks up the phone on the bedside table, calling for room service. He orders a pot of tea, and when it comes he tips the staff member the 20 dollar bill he has in his pocket.

By the time he sits back down, Isak is already whining softly in his sleep. Joni is pacing at the foot of the bed and hisses at Even when he tries to touch her. He touches Isak’s cheek, hoping to wake him up gently, but the younger boy immediately snaps awake, hyperventilating, eyes frantically searching for something that isn’t there. When he sees Even he relaxes, grabbing his hand tightly.

“You wanna cuddle with Joni?” Even asks quietly, and Isak shakes his head.

“She doesn’t like me anymore,” he mumbles and Even frowns.

“Why wouldn’t she like you? Of course she likes you, baby.”

“No. She knows I’m gross. Just like you’re gonna realize soon. And break up with me.”

“She’s worried about you. Watch.” Even turns his head. “Joni!” The little cat immediately leaps onto the bed, padding over to Isak, rubbing against him with her head. He flinches, but she doesn’t seem deterred. Isak hesitantly runs a hand over her back and she purrs, curling up on the comforter. “See?”

“I feel so bad. I feel so so bad, Even,” he finally whispers, rubbing his eyes weakly. He sniffles, not meeting Even’s gaze. He seems to have calmed down enough from his panic attack - he’s no longer choking out sobs and his breathing, while a little unsteady, isn’t broken and hitching like it was. Even will chalk that up as a small success.

“I know you do. You’re ok. It’s ok to feel bad after what happened. Just...we don’t want you having a panic attack.” Isak nods. Even smiles gently, kissing his forehead. “I was thinking we’ll have some tea and watch a movie. Try to get your mind off everything.”

“Don’t you have stuff to do?”

“Of course not.”

“You don’t have to stay.”

“I do. And I want to.”

They spend the rest of the night in Isak’s bed - Isak nursing cups of tea, Even taking care of him. The few times Isak falls asleep, Even takes the opportunity to clean up. The room stills smells sort of like vomit, so he bags up their clothes and leaves them in a laundry bag in the hallway. What he really wants is for someone to change the sheets, but he doesn’t really have the heart to kick Isak out of bed just so a stranger can come in and switch out the pillow cases. Besides, Isak sweats when he has nightmares, and that’s all Isak seems to be having at the moment, so if he did get clean sheets they’d probably just get soaked again. 

It’s a long night but Even is glad all these awful feelings are getting out now rather than later. This doesn’t mean the end of Isak’s nightmares or fears or guilt, but at least he’s gotten some of it out of his system. Even knows, you can’t carry that around. It eats away at your sanity.

\---

“I don’t understand,” Adam says softly. They’d been hanging out playing a massive Fifa tournament, sitting in the balloon squad’s suite, eating snack food. Then, Elias got a message from one of the producers in New York. They’d sent her a track a few days ago, and they’d gotten an...unexpected response.

“I know we should’ve gotten a fucking lawyer. I told you guys,” Elias says. Yousef sighs.

“I thought we had one,” he says, shaking his head. 

“No, remember, we were broke as fuck, and your cousin who’s a fucking pre-law asshole read it once,” Elias says. 

“Don’t yell at me, it’s not my fault.” 

“Can’t we fix it?” Mikael asks.

“Uhhhh…” Mutta says. “Just throwing this out there but, no?”

“We can’t make our own music?” Adam says again.

“Yeah,” Mutta confirms.

“Just picking off the list of preapproved songs?” He still seems stunned. 

“Yeah.”

“But why would they do that?” 

“I have no fucking clue,” Mutta says, shaking his head slightly.

“What can you do?” Even asks lifting an eyebrow.

“Breathe?” Elias offers.

“Barely,” Yousef says, frowning.

“We need to leave,” Mikael argues.

“The contract?” Mutta says.

“Fuck. You’re right,” Mikael huffs, crumpling up an empty bag.

“I have an idea,” Even says. “Meet me in 30, ok?”  
\---

“The entire system is broken,” Even says in frustration. 

“That’s what I keep telling people!” Jonas says looking up in excitement. “The capitalistic nature of society-”

“I was thinking more the StarMark system, Jo,” Even says apologetically. He’d called a meeting of all of the acts on the tour (minus Noora, Eskild, and Linn, whose touring was only secondary to their administrative work) to discuss their options for dealing with StarMark. 

“It’s the same idea, though. Corruption among the elite?”Jonas says, shrugging.

“Yeah. It’s like no matter what we do, we can’t win. They’ll still be able to sweep anything we do under the rug. They’ll still be able to control what we say, do, look like, date. All of it. It’s shit,” Elias adds.

“We need to burn it,” Isak says quietly. Everyone looks over at him. No one except for Even and Eskild (and possibly Linn) know what had happened to him, but everyone had been able to tell that something was very wrong and very off. He’s pale, curled next to Even.

“I agree,” Sana says. “What they do...it isn’t right.”

“I don’t think any of us will be free until StarMark is gone,” Mahdi says. 

“So are we agreed?” Even asks. There’s some nodding. 

“What about...what about us?” Vilde asks nervously. “Don’t get me wrong, StarMark has done very little for me recently,” she pauses, glancing over at Eva. “But what if the next place isn’t any better? What if this is just the end of our careers? What do we do then?”

“None of us are going to be in much trouble if we can’t immediately find a job,” Mutta offers. “We still worked and got paid, right?” There’s silence. “We are getting paid for this shit?” He asks again looking around. 

“Yes we’re getting paid,” Adam says quietly.

“But that doesn’t matter if they sue us!” Eva bursts out. “We have contracts. They own our music. They own our lives. They basically own us. We can’t break those.”

“There has to be another way,” Magnus says, shaking his head.

“Yeah! A way to find loopholes or something?” Mahdi says. 

“They’ve had lawyers go over them. We had lawyers go over them. We can’t break them,” Jonas says. 

“Jonas is right. They’ve poured in too much money into us to let us go on some contract thing,” Sana says.

“What about...like non-compete clauses?” Magnus asks.

“Like in Silicon Valley!” Mikael says, looking excited. “That’s a thing, right? Our contracts are from California, like the show!”

“We’ll check, but that’s also a TV show, so…” Jonas says trailing off with a shrug. 

“We could just turn out some shitty stuff?” Elias says. 

“Or change our names to symbols. Prince did that in his ‘artist formerly know as’ days. It worked pretty well,” Yousef says, nodding.

“While all of that is good, none of it is going to change the fact that StarMark is broken and we have to destroy it. We have to make all of it collapse. Not just some of it. All of it. We need them to be hurting so badly from whatever we chose to do that they let us out of our contracts with no complaints. We need them to want us gone,” Even says.

“But we also need the public to know why, or else it just looks bad on us?” Sana asks. There’s a pause. 

“Yeah. I think I know what we need to do,” Jonas says. He takes a breath. “We need to write an open letter.”

“A letter?” Magus asks squinting his eyes. “Where’s the...drama. The fire. It’s a letter-”

“As I was saying,” Jonas continues, “An open letter where we would state our grievances with StarMark. We’d be able to layout what has been going on behind the scenes and connect with the audience on an emotional level.”

“Are we all willing to do this? We’d need to be very...careful,” Even says. There’s silence. “No objections?” He asks a final time.

“Just one question,” Mikael says. 

“Hmmm?”

“It’s just...we didn’t invite Eskild, Linn, or Noora to this meeting. Are they...allowed to know? Where do they stand?”

“They’d definitely be with us,” Chris says. “I think it might just be a way of protecting them?” She suggests. 

“Yeah. We don’t want to force them to lie for us if they are asked what they’re part in this was,” Jonas says. 

“Also if it comes to us getting sued for something like libel, maybe they’ll be able to corroborate our stories without being too involved?” Sana suggests. 

“Yeah...that makes sense,” Mikael says slowly. “I’m chill with it, I guess. It’s not like I’ll get to make any music as long as I’m working with them anyway.”

“This might be...uncomfortable,” Even says slowly, making eye contact with Isak for a second. “I realize that this isn’t anyone’s first choice. Ideally, we’d have some trust in our employers and the legal system…”

“Even if everything were to work out, we’d still be trapped,” Isak says quietly. “And that can’t happen.”

**_Dear executives of StarMark…_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Section 1: Even runs into his father (who knew what was going on with Jonathan)
> 
> Section 3: Isak throws up and panics. The full force of what has happened his him.
> 
>  
> 
> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Come On, Set the Tone Tumblr](https://comeonsetthetone-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Isak’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/6gLN1ZtFTX44jsKIDp5p49)!  
> [Even’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/3bPGjf7mBaM8pzz1JeZrnX)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> Send us any questions on the tumblr as well. We sometimes make announcements there too. :)


	15. ISAK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While this is the last chapter, there will be an epilogue. That should be out in the next couple of days. :) We're so happy that you all stuck with this roller coaster of a fic! We can't wait to share other things with you. Hit us up on tumblr and in the comments below this chapter! :)

_Dear executives of StarMark,_

_We, your artists, your employees, are here to state that we will no longer stand for the disgusting treatment we’ve endured._

_This is in no way intended to disregard that which you have done to further our musical careers and the careers of countless other individuals. StarMark has, for a long time, been the icon of music production and publication. We, like many others, are grateful to this corporation which, in many cases, launched our careers. Despite this beneficial relationship, we would like to draw attention to several issues that make the continuation of our support for this company infeasible. Our contracts are inhumane and restrictive, our working environment is toxic and unsafe, and we a forced into situations of harassment and abuse (all while StarMark looks on without making changes)._

_Firstly, our contracts are restrictive and degrading. We are required to work far more than most labor laws would deem appropriate for artists. Many times, artists have been driven to the point of extreme exhaustion, illness, or extreme emotional distress (i.e. anxiety attacks). This is particularly apparent when we are required to tour while working on a new album. We are often hired on the basis of our writing talents and then informed that we are not permitted to record any original work (instead we are forced to use works from pre-approved lists). To make matters worse, any content we create will go to other artists (frequently outside of StarMark), or taken by freelance writers to be stitched together (without any credit being given to us, the initial authors). These contracts are also manipulated, with artists often being pressured into contracts they are not entirely confident in through extortion and threats._

_Secondly, our working environment is often unsafe. As stated earlier, artists have been forced to work when ill, or in conditions unsuitable for work. Medical help has, on occasion, been withheld from us while working on albums or recording. In one instance, an artist suffering a panic attack was repeatedly told to pull themselves together and told that they were going to have to pay for the time lost due to their “tantrum.”_

_Thirdly, we are continually put into situations of harassment and abuse.One artist was stalked, harassed, sexually assaulted, and raped by one of StarMark’s VPs. This behavior started when the artist in question was underage and continued despite numerous complaints from fellow artists (and managers) and under the full knowledge of Frederik Waters, the president and founder of StarMark. Furthermore, Mr. Waters, the biological father of Even Bech Naesheim, attempted to blackmail his son into signing a contract. If he did not, the threat was that Waters would destroy his career._

_Waters' parental rights over Naeshiem were involuntarily terminated after it was discovered he had subjected him to abuse and neglect. Though Waters went to trial, his case was dismissed and was kept secret from the public in an effort to maintain his image. We think you, the public, deserve to know the truth. More so, we believe no one should be forced to work for someone who has been their abuser._

_In short, we have been taken advantage of and abused in a variety of ways. This company approved the harassment and rape of one of their artists. This company places profit over the creative freedom of their artists. This company is one that we can no longer support or be a part of._

_Sincerely,  
Even, Isak, Jonas, Eva, Sana, Chris, Vilde, Mahdi, Magnus, Adam, Mutta, Elias, Mikael, and Yousef. _

\---

Six months. That’s how long it has been since Isak drew his line in the sand. He hadn’t performed in the last show of the tour. He was too...upset? That doesn’t seem like a strong enough word. It was a week after his breakdown he even left his apartment. He went home, back to New York, with Even by his side almost immediately after the tour was over without telling anyone. Even booked them flights, arranged cars, bought groceries for the apartment - it seemed like Even took all the energy he should’ve been using on taking care of himself taking care of Isak. Which...Isak wasn’t really complaining about. Until it started to show.

He didn’t realize at the time but Even had made some insane sacrifices to move in with Isak in the city. First, he wasn’t even supposed to fly - his condition made him pretty vulnerable to illness as it was, being in an airplane only exacerbated everything. Also, he’d been scheduled for treatment back home in Seattle right after the tour, which he didn’t get at all before he left. If Isak had known at the time, he wouldn’t have let Even come. That was probably why Even didn’t say anything. 

Inevitably, he did get sick, but Isak found it oddly...satisfying to take care of his boyfriend. Like he had a purpose. It was a week after his breakdown, and he was doing much better - not great, not even good, but better. He could get out of bed. Feed Joni. Eat a meal. Take a shower. Most of the day though, he’d spend cuddling in bed with Even, watching movies or talking or playing music. Isak had noticed Even getting tired easily, shivering even in a heavy sweatshirt. Worst came to worst and Even ended up in bed with a high fever and a bad cough. 

They got hundreds of interview requests that week. The letter gained a massive (more than even they had expected) amount of attention. Isak and Even, in particular, had been highlighted as the main players in the letter (as they were specifically mentioned). Despite the fact that Isak hadn’t been mentioned by name in the letter, as the only artist that had worked with StarMark when they were underaged, it was pretty clear to whom it was referring. It was almost lucky Even was so sick. He had a real excuse for turning them down. The open letter caused a huge commotion, almost all in their favor, but still, neither of them really wanted to be questioned in front of the world about it.

All in all, they were holed up in Isak’s apartment for almost three straight weeks while the aftermath of the letter swirled in the tabloids. Someone had organized a petition that got almost 200,000 signatures - it called for the firing of Jonathan, along with freedom for the artists. The company issued a response that essentially rejected the idea, and after that, things really picked up. Artists from all different labels, including Sonja - who Isak always thought hated him, Even, or both - started calling for a boycott. And weirdly enough, it worked. StarMark’s stock started to plummet. Now, 6 months later, the company is going completely under. They’re all free of their contracts. 

More came out about Frederick, too. Apparently, he’d been pretty shitty to almost everyone in the industry. Other artists - icons, even - told their stories. Isak was surprised how often things like this went on. Not completely surprised, but he never expected the corruption to run as deep as it did.

Now, Isak is starting something new. With Even. A label, but not exactly. Even calls it a collective, but Isak thinks the word is a bit strong for what it actually is. The two of them will own some equipment and recording space, hire some producers, and indie artists will pay them to use all the resources. No strings attached. 

They’re in the process of getting everything set up - Even’s agreed to move to New York. At first, Isak insisted they both go to Seattle - that was where Even’s family was, his whole life was in Washington - but Even’s apartment was absolutely tiny, and Isak’s was basically cavernous.

Isak wrote a song – it was in that week in between when he’d gotten home and when Even got sick, about how he felt about the whole thing – and recorded it on his laptop, mixing the instruments in on some freeware audio editor. He posted it on Spotify with no promotion –not because he didn’t want anyone to hear it, just because he didn’t really have the energy to care – and two days later it was number 1. 

[Praying](https://open.spotify.com/track/79NlESqzFSW0hdBWgls4FX), it was called. Even played the piano, Isak sang. They wrote it together in Even’s black notebook. Afterward, Isak made him play all the songs on the unfinished pages. Most of them were about him. _Boy you fill my head with pieces of a song I can’t get out. Can I be close to you?_

But Praying...Even tore the page out and taped it up on the wall behind Isak’s bed, right in the center. Over the next six months, the makeshift collage started to grow - ticket stubs, Even’s drawings, Polaroids, Isak’s notes. Still, in the center, was the song.

Yesterday he found out it was nominated for song of the year, along with Noora’s first single, [Bored](https://open.spotify.com/track/04sN26COy28wTXYj3dMoiZ). Even’s album was nominated for album of the year, along with BL!SS’s. Balloon Squad is up for Best New Artist. Isak couldn’t be happier.

Today, he’s sitting in a hospital with Even, who’s sitting up in the narrow bed, his ¾ guitar on his lap. He’s smiling, coming up with new riffs and progressions. It’s what they do at home. Except they’re in a hospital, and Even is halfway through his immune system treatment. It’s some experimental thing - they kill all his bone marrow cells with chemo and then replace them with ones that know how to make antibodies and T cells and things like that. Today is the first day Even’s been well enough to sit up. It’s hard seeing him like that. The doctors promised that this week of hell would mean no more - or at least less - immune deficiency for Even, so Isak was willing to trust that.

Barely. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to strangle the person responsible when he saw him that first day - pale and too weak to even squeeze Isak’s hand. It’s just...he has this connection with Even now. They take care of each other. So seeing Even like that and not being able to do anything about it - it made Isak want to scream.

Today is better though. Today Even is smiling and playing guitar and they had Indian food for lunch. 

“Let’s make up a song. Right now,” he says, and Isak laughs. He shifts in his chair, adjusting his too big hoodie. Even starts a chord pattern, nodding to the beat. 

“C’mon. There’s nothing to sing about in here,” he says, and Even narrows his eyes. 

“Of course there is. Use your imagination. Like...we’re in a club.” Isak laughs. “No, listen.” Even takes a deep breath and starts to sing. “It’s late in the evening, glass on the side, I’ve been sat with you for most of the night. Ignoring everybody here, we wish they would disappear, so maybe we could get down now.” Isak can’t get the smile off his face. His cheeks hurt. Even keeps going. “I don’t wanna know if you’re getting ahead of the program, I want you to be mine baby. To hold your body close, take another step into the no man's land. For the longest time, baby.” Isak knows he has to jump in now. 

“I need you, darling, come on, set the tone. If you feel me falling, won’t you let me know?” He runs out of words so gives it a couple beats. “If you love me come on, get involved. Feel it rushing through you from your head to toe.” Again, more dead space. He fills it up with some mindless ‘oh’s, hoping Even will fill in the rest.

“Sing!” Even says, grinning, and Isak changes up the ‘oh’s. Not exactly what Even was wanting, probably, but Isak can’t think of anything else. “Uhhh...Louder...Sing!” ” Even shouts laughing. He says. “Rap.” He mouths. Isak nods.

“Ok, uh…” He takes a couple beats to think a step ahead. “This love is ablaze, I saw flames from the side of the stage and the fire brigade comes in a couple of days. Until then, we got nothing to say and nothing to know, but something to drink and something to smoke,” at that Even breathes sharply and Isak loses his rhythm, laughing slightly. 

“Sorry, sorry!” Even says.

“Wait...wait. Hold up. I can get it back,” Isak says. 

“Nah. We should just figure out what we already have first. That was incredible. You’re incredible,” Even says beaming. Isak rolls his eyes.

“Shut up.”

“You’re incredible,” Even repeats.

“No, you are,” Isak argues, and Even smiles.

“You are too!”

“I love you,” he whispers. Even picks up his hand, squeezing tightly, kissing his knuckles. Isak feels himself blush.

“I love you too.”

\---

Their first recording session at their new place is with the Balloon Squad. Isak can see them walking down the street. Their carrying balloons like the self-referential dorks they are. Isak can’t help but roll his eyes and laugh as he runs over to open the door for them. They aren’t alone. Along with them are Sana and...Magnus?

“Hey!” Isak says excitedly stepping back from the door. “Uhhh...jackets...over...yeah you got it.”

“This place looks incredible,” Elias says, stepping forward and squeezing Isak in a quick side hug. Isak sighs softly in relief when he doesn’t flinch (not even a little bit) and slightly unexpected touch. 

“Yeah...well...the entire court thing. The payouts. We’re pretty set up,” Isak explains awkwardly. 

“Is this an edible arrangement?” Magnus asks, his mouth full. Isak rolls his eyes. 

“Yes,” he replies. 

“And?” Magnus prompts, reaching for another chocolate covered piece of fruit. 

“Yes, you may help yourselves!” Isak says. There’s a small cheer and a rush over to the food. “Careful!” He warns, seeing the desk shake slightly. 

“Hey babe,” Even says, walking into the room. He rests his chin on Isak’s shoulder. He isn’t wearing any shoes because ‘even though this is our place of work I don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable’. “I got it all set up and turned on.”

“Yeah?” Isak asks turning his head to bury his face in Even’s hair.

“Yeah.”

“Come on everyone,” Even says motioning them over. “Where you’ll be recording is this way. I have it mostly set up for you already.” He turns and starts to walk holding out a hand for Isak to take. They walk through the halls bumping shoulders and swing their arms. It feels like any other day but more...exciting. They put so much work into healing and building this new part of their life that opening it up to other people feels both easy and a touch scary. 

“I love you,” Isak mumbles. Even smiles and presses a kiss to Isak’s temple. 

“I love you too.”

“Woah!” Adam says as soon as the reach the recording room they’d set up. It’s nothing too special, but it’s theirs. 

“I’m so proud of you!” Mikael says, stepping forward to wrap Isak in a hug. “I just...this is great! I’ve missed you so much” After the tour they didn’t spend nearly as much time together. Not only was Isak recovering, but they lived on different sides of the country. Now, with the Balloon Squad relocating to New York to record their album, they were going to get to spend much more time together.

“I’ve missed you too,” Isak says as Mikael moves away. 

“I can’t believe you did this. This is...iconic,” Mutta says, his face reflecting the awe in his words. 

“We really couldn’t have done it without you. It was that letter that really gave us the opportunity to create this and freed us from those assholes. It was a group effort,” Even says smiling. 

“So...you’re calling this a...?” Yousef asks.

“Collective,” Sana says quickly and Yousef smiles. 

“Yeah. Sana’s right. We’re calling it a collective. We’re all about artist collaboration to meet their own artistic goals, not sales benchmarks and corruption,” Even says slightly bitterly. There’s a murmur of agreement. Even though it has been several months since the court proceedings and the collapse of StarMark, the wounds are still fresh. They’re all still bitter. 

“Well…” Isak starts. He’s found the less he dwells the better he’s able to function. “Why don’t you check it out? We’ll give you some space to work. Just shout if you need anything.” 

After some more brief congratulations, Isak, Even, Sana, and...Magnus? Depart towards the breakroom. After a few minutes of relative silence, Isak can’t hold back his question any longer. 

“Magnus?”

“Yup?” 

“No offense,” he starts. Everyone looks up worriedly. No offense is never a great way to calm people down. “Why are you here?”

“Uhhhh...why wouldn’t I be?” Magnus asks tilting his head. 

“Ummm...I’m glad you are, but like, Sana is here because of Yousef and Even and I are here because we own the place. Jonas isn’t here. Mahdi isn’t here.”

“Uhhh...I’m here because of Mikael,” he says as if it should be common sense.

“Duh,” Sana says. 

“What?” Isak isn’t sure he’s hearing things correctly.

“We’ve been dating since like...week seven of the tour? Are you...serious?” Magnus asks. Isak splutters.

“Yeah? Wait. Even? Did you know about this?” He looks over at the older boy who just shrugs.

“I mean...after I stopped believing that you and Mikael were together it was a bit obvious. I know there was a lot going on, though. Don’t be upset.” He slings an arm over Isak’s shoulders, squeezing his arm lightly. 

“I’m such a bad friend,” Isak says shaking his head. 

“Not a bad friend!” Magnus protests. “Oblivious.” 

Isak rolls his eyes. It’s true, whether or not he wants to believe it. 

“Awwwe! Babe!” Even says. “It’s ok. We’re still the cutest.” Isak smiles. It’s true. They are still the cutest. 

“I’ll fight you!” Magnus says at the same time as Sana says, “Fight me losers.” They laugh. It’s a good day.

No matter what happens tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, today is a good day. Even’s arm is around him. They’re together. They’re safe. They’re ok. And that’s enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Come On, Set the Tone Tumblr](https://comeonsetthetone-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Isak’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/6gLN1ZtFTX44jsKIDp5p49)!  
> [Even’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/3bPGjf7mBaM8pzz1JeZrnX)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> Send us any questions on the tumblr as well. We sometimes make announcements there too. :)


	16. EPILOUGUE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for going on this journey with us! We're hoping to write lots more soon! Keep in touch everyone! :)
> 
> Here's the requested tumblr discourse!

\-->OK when did you guys know they were dating????  
\--->honestly in my heart……..i always knew :’’’’)  
\----> SAME  
\-----> the insta posts clued me in  
\------> if I can be real?? Im dumb af...i didn’t know til Jones  
\-------> omg yeah same  
\--------> that was so…….iconic. They did that.  
\---------> i didn’t even fucking BREATHEEEE

 

\-->REMEMBER THAT FUCKING DISCOURSE WHEN THEY FOUGHT  
\--->yEAh that was much stresss  
\---->some of us weren’t involved  
\----->i GoT receipts “that Isak fucker thinks he can mess with my man. Fuck him.”  
\------>woah shit ur right. Was that only a year and a half ago???  
\------->yup

 

\-->Guys! I have the full Jones award live stream downloaded!!! HMU if you want it  
\--->where is it?  
\---->I can post it on a google drive.  
\----->cool.

 

\-->WHAT! I JUST THEY JUST WUT  
\--->ikr  
\---->they went there  
\----->isak is so precious  
\-------> i heard it was just supposed to be Even performing but he made a deal with the director that he wouldn’t unless Isak could too.  
\---------> i just can’t fucking believe they fucking KISSED. On stage.

 

\-->Did he bring a cat to an award show?  
\--->wtf when?  
\---->the red carpet? It looked like he had a literal cat on a leash???but he was just carrying it???  
\----->WaIT He bROUGHt joni????  
\------>omg slay  
\------->my queen!!!!!JONI 

 

\--> also can i just say im so fucking proud of Even??? He worked so fucking hard on the album and it won and im just so emotional  
\---> and Isak walking up on stage with him IM FUCKINGGGGG  
\----> i know :) isak wasnt gonna go and even fucking dragggggged him up im so fucking happy he did :) :) :)))  
\-----> it was so sweet how he kissed him and dedicated the award to him and i just………..im emotional  
\-------> “i think this award belongs to my boyfriend too. He’s been through so much, and he’s fought so hard and I think as much as me, he deserves this award. So, Isak. This is for both of us.”  
\---------> theN THEY KISSSSSSED. AGAIN.  
\----------> i thought it couldn’t possibly get better after God Only Knows and then it somehow did…  
\------------> i didn’t even think that we’d see them together in public so im overwhelmed™

 

\--> not to be needy but when will even start posting more pics of isak on his insta???  
\---> i mean not to be needy but when will isak start posting anything at all? Its been YEARS  
\----> considering what happened maybe he’s just not in the mood. Id understand.  
\-----> it was so fucking devastating to hear that he was r***d. Male r**e is so often overlooked.  
\------> i wonder what happened when Even found out? Im surprised he didnt fucking kill that asshole  
\--------> im sure he tried

 

\--> honestly everyone at jones was sooo good. Like the bliss performance was great, bs was great too...just amazing.  
\---> i need them back on tour together.  
\----> i heard a rumor they will after isak’s new album drops.  
\-----> stfu are you serious????  
\------> yessssssssssssssssssss :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made a tumblr for more content from this universe! [Come On, Set the Tone Tumblr](https://comeonsetthetone-au.tumblr.com)!  
> [Isak’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/6gLN1ZtFTX44jsKIDp5p49)!  
> [Even’s Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/chloebeaux/playlist/3bPGjf7mBaM8pzz1JeZrnX)!  
> Send us prompts [HERE](http://poeandbeaux.tumblr.com/ask)!  
> [Chloe’s tumblr](http://chloebeaux.tumblr.com)!  
> [Priscilla’s tumblr ](http://boxesofflowers.tumblr.com)!  
> Send us any questions on the tumblr as well. We sometimes make announcements there too. :)


End file.
